good days and sunshine moments

I was thinking about how lovely we are and how we have it all.
I was thinking that sometimes we do not have it all. Like all the trinkets that might make us momentarily content until the next thing we may conjure up appears before our mind and then our grasp.

Take care of what you already have and be tired at bedtime is the best.
I hope you are well and happy as you read this.

I made salad with the veggies.

chop peppers

onions

tomatoes

cilantro

kale

put salt

lemon juice

good olive oil

black beans if you have them and some cheese if you want to. I ate this whole bowl with Italian bread. mmmmmm

Almost Walking Dead Time and Gorgeousness Rick

Sorry, Negan, I am with Rick!

Life

Hello and happy birthday sweet Leo folk.

We have so much learning ahead of us and one must remember that and stop carrying on about things that do not have anything to do with me and you.

Not even Hilary or Trump have anything to do with me and you.

I saw pictures of her on a news site that were like really mean. Why? They do it to Merkle in Germany too. I do not know anything about Hilary except that she inspires ire in people that is for sure.Still though. it is mean to constantly hate on her and maybe average people should wake up and actually be involved in daily government before they call anyone names, like "bitch". Most of them are overweight, smokers on blood pressure medicine and have diabetes but yea, Hilary is evil. ha ha maybe she is. She swims with sharks and we all know this fact, "you are who you run with"!

One side says the other side is violent and then goes and makes a ruckus on the other side! Always fighting for the man, the big man,  god, who can never be satisfied with anything he made. Fighting and carrying on about a politician as if he is one to be worshiped! Bad habit as it always gives off disappointment in the end as we all know there are no miracles without effort from someone living and not in the invisible. But then why do we worship celebrities and Trump? Or cry for the gorilla who was going to kill that little boy? They all lined up to kill the mother because she was not watching him enough? All the hate and yea it is sad, but only people without kids do not understand how so fast, a little one can get in to trouble!

I wonder if they were all barren? Because if not, we are talking about hypocrites who just want to hate for the sake of it. That give me pause about our human race..all of us, brown or white!

And, guess what, there will be a new president, you will go to sleep tonight, and kiss your kids and make breakfast and eat good food..many will not and do not even care of Hilary or Trump wins..wins wins..who will win? Some, they have not had soap for months or have not had shoes. No shoes means parasites in third world countries, but hey, they are not us, we are exalted by the gods to live in our best place ever and yet, the fighting over, apples and oranges..the difference between malic acid in apples to citric acid in oranges..yea..

it is August and I always realize it later

The nights are wonderfully cooler, the days hot and dry
It is August and I am happy
happy that I have water and a yard that makes flowers
and by now, plenty of weeds. I will yank them out and make a nice haven
the hummingbirds, they come around at three
everyday they make their rounds
then come the yellow tiny finches, tiny waving back and forth on a tall zinnia
which by now is making fat heads that almost look like a penis lollipop
(not intended for humans)
they land and swing a bit as their beaks grab up all the sugar.

touching earth ( a poem of no significance)

each morning I touch down
first my feet
I place them carefully on the carpet and rest for a moment
I will each muscle and each bone in my feet to take note of my demands
Higher consciousness, my atomic friend, I say, good day!


As I stand and I realize the weight of my body
the weight of my mind
I know right away in my heart or whatever it is
I carry it I nurture it
at that moment I begin to carry me through the day

I will be light
I will walk easily
my head reminded to pull up my aging form
I am a witch, powerful,  in  ways I never imagined
I am not superhuman and will parish
If death is the final end, I do not care
I am but a speck of dust on a speck of dust on a huge rock traveling really fast

I am willing to hold tight and enjoy this ride
I am willing to forgive and move past my doubts

I am not afraid of money
I am not afraid to speak a thought
I will success
I will it to come to me and you
I will your comfort and joy
I say this to myself as I make coffee
I wash my hands again and the scent of nutmeg and tangerine take me right back
to me

roasting banana skins now

So I bought the ingredients to make the black soap and maybe, maybe, I will begin the process of scenting a heavy duty amazing soap.
I said shea butter for sure but I am talking oils.

I have templin fir
cedarwood
I only have a little bit birch (not tar)
balsam fir
syrup made with those and then infused with the tobacco flowers I have been drying.
Maybe, we are gonna freak out, maybe it will be "just" soap
I have oakmoss
patchouli
lavender
sage that awesome Greek one from Eden..mmmmmm
I have a little myrrh that kicks fucking ass!


"All this in a black soap?
"You have made a black soap before, it was a pastey mess."

It really was, Everybody loved it. I sold every sliver.

You know what is good about this second time? I have that vita mix and I am going to make powdered banana peel of the most powderest powder ever. More than a mortar and pestle, I say!

There are many black soaps out there, I know. Maybe each one is special because of what you add to it. Like, if all you have is coconut skins, you'll burn them to make charcoal because charcoal is good for everything. You can clean your teeth, hair, your face. Its ph or whatever is perfect and why black makes brighter? It has everything to do with atoms, that I know and we're burning up to burn them skins.

You know the ones I don't care for? The ones that say perfume or fragrance with essential oils and there is not a drop..only words. Why, why do they need to lie to the people who give them money?

Oh, the vetiver I  just bought, is so thick and buttery that I will put it in the batch for sure. I think I need more balsam fir too.

BLACK SOAP

I am finally making more black soap
It will be composed of roasted green banana and shea butter
It will be as authentic I can get it and that means time

take the peel of bananas and roast them black (about six peels)
let them dry and then grind them up
add the green banana powder (it is available at wholefoods or amazon)
 make soap as usual
80% good olive oil and 20% organic coconut oil, shea butter, cocoa butter, jojoba, almond meal if you want to..coconut fibers from the skin..any black charcoal roasted thing you like.

20% water phase which I will use organic almond milk

essential oils are to be announced..
sometimes botanicals get in the way of the thing you want to smell. Then, a year goes by and you finally get the incense cedarwood you have been longing for as I did when I made ceps and cedar..
Time changes everything.
Black soap should smell good and fruity tho.
What do you think?

just another day

"yea, I am a strong woman! I make all this stuff for my kids and I will not take any shit!"
She was a strong woman, I would not mess with her.
"oh, nice to speak your mind with family."
"that is right, I tell my dad how it is and if that doesn't work, I have three knives on me right now!"
She gave me a look and I smiled. Feeling like, wow..okay.
"That is cool, I love knives!"
In the back of my mind, the alone me, where I can't say what I was thinking..
"dang glad I do not have to fight that chick..dude, I'd be dead.."
Three knives! What do you need a knife in the grocery store for? I have a couple of  knives in the car and one in my bag..just in case I need to cut a pear or a cheesecake.

my cheesy walking dead poem

those of who we've all heard who
want to be mad about our fine story
the end of the world story
the one where the dead indeed do rise like in the bible stories
Jesus was said to tell
or Paul
or Eusevius and the rest of the long robes who saved documents that do not matter
the end  where each breath may be the last
Rick never understanding how big things really were
went out looking for trouble this time
what led him to this tragedy was his ego
his pride
his unending strength to fight
his ability to know when he is down

Remember how he hides behind that mask of fear
There is a snake coiling deep inside him right now
Of course he is scared He knows what can be
Rick does
He is planning
He is well trained to take down that skinny ass Negan
Rick is the man to do it. To respectfully Unite like minded forces for the good of all
Not the lazy fucking ass Negan who doesn't want to grow a garden..ass
The whole earth is a garden and you will dig
we all have to dig
No one wants to fight anymore
they are tired
sick and hungry
and this guy wants that too
Rick will know what to do
In all his loss
he finds a way to defend his people
the ones left to talk and care for
Michone
Daryl
Corral
when does it end
When Abraham dies
When Glen gets bashed

Dig deep Rick! You gotta dig deep!

I am going to die. No more kid stuff! is what I mean to convey. Not that I want you to die! I want you to be happy. It is hard to be happy.

I can't hardly wait for the zombies. That quote was from Rick and me if we were together and we would be because I would be Michonne all day. Yes, I would have a sword, I have many knives tho, I love them.
I would be like, "Rick, if not, I am still with you" She was with him from the first moment. that is what love does to you. It makes you loyal and honest with each other. She saw the man he was and even when he fell she was actually there for him. That is real love right there.  I feel like he was way over the top emotional with the husband of Jessie..what a waste!
I am like, "woah, how did she stand it when he was kissing that blond, he fell for the cliche' right quick didn't he?"  I didn't care for that and yet, Michone let him make mistakes and she was still with him and really, the sex has nothing to do with it.
That is TV and we are real life. Fun Though! I love the walking dead I love it love love love it. Nothing compares and not even Winona Rider in Stranger Things and The Upside Down..that was good though!!

Orlando Bloom naked with the big peen..woakala..yo..woakalllaaa..he is a creeper a little bit?? WTF! I guess he is proud of it. Am I being too square, is that sexy now? Maybe he thought they were alone?? In that case , no, they weren't and here is a thought, women have been naked for many many years so..if men want to be naked, then what is the big deal? You know what the big deal is.

**((Oh about that chick the other day who I was so mad at..(sheepish and sorry if I hurt your feelings about it, I am sure she does not read me I hope she doesn't or if she does, well, some people need  certain words that open their eyes. I am a messenger not a savior....it is a mistake sometimes to get too close) Being more with anyone is a sacrifice right?
I think one of the things that struck me is the mentality which carries over from me 100% of the time at work not really being able to speak my mind and catering and getting "close" with people I cater to becomes a platform in our comradeship, maybe? Shocking and still remains the outrage when one is not being served correctly in the friendship...
What do I know. I am boring and play with knives and then make soap and talk to you and then I clean up and go to work and i read another thing about why and what we may be..boring and sharp witted I will tell you! Yesterday, I listened to Richard Fineman lectures and wrapped orders. it was so beautiful to me!
I like Jasmine green  tea right now.)) in the afternoon and I love coffee in the morning. The gardens are fat man!

Tai Weinman - "Mother of Dragons" (NPS 2014)

play it again ma'am

strange things and business

I have had three glorious days off until yesterday afternoon when a local gal got all like what do you mean, what do you mean and then she said what do you mean..
so I dealt with it like I deal with everyone who texts me too much with  questions. I did not answer the last one.
You know what my bestie does when I do not answer? She calls me back and I tell her why and she is like, "you never have to tell me why"
She does not send text after text after text..seriously, I have a web site so you can order, this whole 'how much do I owe you" I am not a street vendor trying to make deals! Bring cash to my house if you want products. I say this to everyone. Do not get mad if I run out of something I am supposed to hold for you. This is a business, order it on line. Do it. Break away from the bonds of the checkbook. Get yourself a prepaid card and some more freedom so you do not have to wait for me to make time. That is why I made the web site. there are good prices there. You do not have to order the old whore, oh wait, "nothing with patchouli", you said..now that there puts me uneasy. It is like saying you hate onions or garlic or celery! WTF? That is the trio in all soup. You think your bottled water is gonna save you? I hope so..but no one is safe. You are gonna die..you are. I am going to die. No more kid stuff! is what I mean to convey. Not that I want  you to die! I want you to be happy. It is hard to be happy.
It is aromatherapy, you value it, you want it, you study it, you care about its constituents..they are like mini saints all over the place actually protecting you.
My friends, my mom, they know, when I say, "oh mom, the power went out and I am not home"
"no worries" "are you okay?" They do not say, "what do you mean?"

Yea..I can't be mad, I can't! Everything is so good, just so wonderful in my life. I love it!
My loved ones, my friends, the real ones, the ones I can talk to..and be me..the busy, tired me..
My bestie..she is fakin cool..
Yea she is, my heart and my mind flourish when she is near and we don't even live close. I know I can be myself, which is busy bitches, faking busy and tired and I am not always able to answer texts or conversations about my schedule and times.."oye!!"

You see, for some reason, I attract people who are a little bit broken. A little bit. It is the business in which I work. Health Supplements and their uses. The people that get close to me are the ones that come  to the vitamin apothecary in the first place I know this. I extend myself as far as I can when they are hurting and have issues with cancer. It is heavy sometimes. They want to get close to the vibrant healthy light that you are. I get that.
Yogananda used to say that there are spirits lurking from past lives all over the place, that is what ghosts are..He also said that ghosts and bad thoughts are what "that all" is! Thoughts do travel hard and long. We make that happen. Look at how long we take something at face value and nurture it and belong to it and it helps us and hates everything bad against us..not just the bad, okay, but everything bad against us..that there little idea is what creates tribes and weapons to protect our women and our children. They fought then too and we will fight now as hard as we can..
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Where am I going with this?
Yes, I tried to wake up mad about the world. I am!


"Jesus and Himmel woman and Shiva and fakin the one who is supposed to be still on the mountain blessing all the Indian people in to higher consciousness..
someone was stabbed yesterday, someone was blown up, someone's baby died because your god's thugs killed all the babies in the night, someone's heart was broken yet again and you cry because Anastasia, is too busy to make time for you?"

so sweet how families must change

I was talking with an American Armenian gal who I love because she is real and has good intentions..for the most part..I mean no one is a saint, remember that, even the saints are not saints.
Saint Paul may ass!

We were watching a beautiful and I mean gorgeous gal walking around with her mom and dad close behind and there was a boy, pandering, trying to say things the old guy would understand..as if this daughter was a prize they were letting go and he must be interviewed well. lol
He was cute too and I thought, "he must really care for her to go to such lengths to ask permission or somehow be good enough for their prized daughter."
As I was thinking this, my friend spoke..
"our people do that, he is not Armenian either, we would not accept him"

See? I have grown a lot from even last year where I would have hurt her feelings at such a dumb thing, but no, I was poised and said this..

"In science, there are no races, just homo sapiens"

She looked at me and I could see her mind racing, "yea but my people, we stay pure.."

Not for long because you cannot!
I did not tell her that. Let her play with her toy ideas as long as she wants to, it will not matter. One out of four of her American educated children will marry outside their people because educated women do not want to be owned. Are those marriages better or last longer than most average marriages in the USA? Maybe they do. All I see are the same sort of dramas from all of us and smart girls want to choose on their own and not talk to their dad as if he is giving her away. What a load of crap!
My dad would beat me so bad so I would listen..he is old now and does not matter in my daily work or life's choices. He is happy to show up and say, "hello".  We have changed, I have changed and my daughters are free and respected more by me for that! See, everything will change. Women who wear the veil now, will have children and they will not want to wear it. They are done with this idea. Every one is or will be!
She will not want to be considered a prize of some sort where the family has her until she marries and is safely tucked away in a nice house with a nice bed and nice shoes and nice vacation visiting family of course..it is nice to think so.

That girl? The one with the family shopping and pretending to peruse through our store? That one will be fine or no. I think she will be okay. Her mamma will be around to help her and her daddy will sit and watch the telly while grandchildren play in front of him..and, and, she will have the finest jeans to show off her   fine ass and nice shoes too..
Wait?
That does sound nice. can't we just do that anyhow? Of course we can!