lessons on love

I do not understand how couples can live for years and years together when there are so many ups and downs. They do, and some are perfect. No secrets and no judgments on each others morality.
When you create boundaries right from the start, you allow yourself to have reasons to do what you do. There is a reason to everything. Your reason, not god's or your partner's.
I sure do enjoy the freedom of not answering or expecting others to make me happy.
I have really come far and you know,  it was work and mindfulness and my mom and my dear friends..I have a couple of them.

I mostly see couples struggling when   the  other partner begins by sneaking around..
sneaky purchases...sneaky friendships with same sex comrades who love sneaking around...
sneaky conversations and finally the internet and porn..and oh, the  crying after they get caught..like those TV evangelists who get caught smoking crack with a whore in some hotel and then cry and cry..
There are people right now waiting to have sex with you. strangers who you can call and Skype..and your wife  or husband is sleeping in the next room. You do not even have to go to a club  or take a shower..just take your clothes off and take a selfie and then send it to a stranger waiting for your penis or vagina.
 shocked are ya?
It is all true and how do I know? Because I am out there speaking with maybe 200 hundred people a day and ten of them will tell me why they need gaba, kava, and ps 100 which is phophitidil serine and it makes you calm down from the angst of not being  in a true love life. Why they can't sleep and most importantly which product will make them prettier, happier and more content with their lives.??Their comfy money lives..money keeps bad people together though.
I am not here to talk about all my customers, I am here because I see how we are changing and  whether I like it or  not I need to review in words.
I also lived it when it was brand spanking (pun) new. I cried tears and tears with every apology.  I escaped with aromatherapy and meditation and while my "true love" was all night not writing and not creating and just having more sex.
Why do men do it?
Why do women on the other  end?
So it is we??

When you hear,

"I am sorry.." more than one time, third time, fourth, .yea..true love...

when you hear "because of you I did this..."

"You made me do it because I was hurt over something you did ten years ago.."

"I will bring up up every time I get caught  order to gas light and support my lie"

"I will cry and cry and say, sorry I have a problem baby"

yes you do

I used to think my man was worthy because of the in betweens that were so spectacular. The in betweens of poetry, literature and philosophy, martial arts..all my best things, you know?
Am I still hurt over my marriage not being the nirvana that I thought we were both practicing? Less and less friends..less and less...

Less and less and my only regret is I put so much money in, so much that was wasted on a no account who lives by manipulation and control mixed with fear and loathing...and all the bibles and Jesus and Gogananda and Lahiri and Shiva and Krishna  and karma and prayer and quotes on all the best things..was not enough, never enough is it?

What is most interesting here is that I am not special. I was shocked as all hell and I was not the only one suffering with this topic. Most women keep this a secret as not to shame the family..
shame?
shame?
You are worried about shame?
I get it.
It is almost better if they had committed a felony other than what they do and are are becoming..eventually these habits and addictions become dangerous and do become a felony.

I love you.

Open your eyes and see
do not fear the future
you are worthy of so much and it is coming and your body is propelled faster and faster with the way your are shedding all the heavy weight off of your shoulders..
hair flying
fitness and hard work to your goodness..
always smiling you are because peace
trust
true partnership
that is rare and good and should be always so