bye then 2017 Hello Saturn strength, saturn reality, saturn humble bastards hello 2018

So you gave up being a renunciate and now you're eating meat again, wow, don't you know meat and animal flesh is the root of all evil?"
"I thought money is the root of all evil?"
"that too, to be truly happy, you have to be pure of heart and work really hard."
Hmn
Sounds like a dirty lie we tell ourselves I thought to myself.

"I love money, money loves me!"

Renunciate not, my friends!

Mediate, yes!
close your eyes and look in to the void..the dark matter which carries you
if you do that for ten minutes your brain begins to spark and it is wonderful..

I tried it you know,  the renunciate devote life, I need devotion because I was raised to be devout and to not please the devil.
I hated it when my mom would say it.
"let us go to church in order to not please the devil." you stand a little bit prouder when you don't please that guy for sure.

Fuking cave men we are, really!


I wonder why if money is the root of all evil, why the churches are built like castles. and how to be a part you pay every sunday as the pass a tray to keep up the castle and then they go and pray and sing in  some places..it is nice man..nice people go there because they want to cherish a happy moment and ask god to shine on them. He should anyhow if he is him. So many in some of the castles too. Do they really know each other because they would be better drivers if they did.
He should shine on all self aware creatures and stop with the hell business. He should rain the gold (money)as he does to keep us alive.  He does not need a  monk or a a deacon or a saint. Either he is real or he ain't, all I know is that , this needs to be said...

All the sunshine on every head, that is my way!

Don't worry, I won't make this a rant about religion :)


The next thing is that this whole winter of 20187000, is about having fixed or fixing.
Remember when I said about a path full of broken leads?

Tt is time to smooth out your path just like the rings of saturn. Some are really small smooth particles and some of the rings are boulders as big as cities..Saturn is so big that its gravity does so effect us and where it located does effect us. Our water, our cold cold temps..the winter blues, when we can ponder on the saddest things and it works us up.
say sorry
say sorry
say sorry all day and know this it is a perfect way to open the dialog..towards non conflict. This means real communication on expectations and a sort of new dictatorship in areas of work and big retail business.
When everything is clear to us we do not have to remember what we said. I like transparency like this.and it can it get to be a little toxic?
Remember what happened when Uranus was in Aries last time? Hitler, that is what!
The good thing here is that Saturn is in Capricorn and will hold a little more control. You will see the division in more and more outlets where we are almost herded like cattle, first going for the food and then being trapped while eating it!


Focus on what is real and don't be a cunt for sure because even if the strong survive, you and me, we must be held accountable ..I will definitely focus on my business of what I make buy my hands and who I am.

Saturn in Capricorn is big..it is a change in many attitudes, you see it all over the place.
You have a big divide because Uranus in Aries is at an angle which will charge us big time in how we make money.
I know it is true because there is always enough for me and you always.

Look at Iran at this very moment because the students are done with the dictatorship.
Can you imagine being in such violence to fight for what is true and not what ancient texts dictate?
I can in a way.. being in a cult for so long.
Saturn is my focus now for a while and while the archetype is seriously strong in our human experience..saturn is aging, being more alone, kids growing up and leaving and being a third stage of your human alive awareness.
Then you will become dust again and in millions of years that dust which feeds a plant, grass, birds or the sun goes red giant and eats us up  to be squeezed in to a diamond hot ball..

we become something else at the same time never being

Just before the year ends we give a thank you and put out hormones which attract a mate to keep us warm in winter when the snows are deep

Measuring your goodness at the end of the day is an interesting  side theme in our lives.
How many people treasure you is a nice thing to live by if they do indeed treasure you.
Maybe they tolerate you , that would suck!

Christmas is come and gone friends. It is time to really rejoice at the new year ahead (the boons, new customers, all the still here  loyal customers, lovely ladies and men who love my work, my mom, tonie, the boys too, my girls, , my sarah, my emmi and my emily rose my vallie too))and for me, that is what I have leaned to understand fully and gratefully. To always bring the good in and not push away the goodness..
It is big..


I am taking a week off from soap making. After that I will make some nice things.
I want to make a blood orange soap with black pepper and then I will put bergamot and a drop or two palmarosa..not too much. I want it to be smooth and hard  like a good man.

I have a stunningly beautiful grapefruit too. This will become jasmine infused for a future creamy, super charged,  soap..
Jasmine is about sex and the chakra that attracts the wonderment of ones juices and how the connect to others.yes indeed.
Some people find Jasmin horrid and sickening. yes, sex can be dirty..

Open your heart and ponder on your fertile garden. Somewhere which needs nurture and clean water. Drink some..the light shines now on areas unknown to you..ohh...
Creativity stirring you to move and say things shame prevents you from saying
doing things which will enhance the future you tomorrow and the next year
not deplete because of anxiety and worry
not destroy because of hastily spoken words
suck it all in and change it before you spew out more broken footpaths for yourself
and then you might.. you cry that you are alone and no one loves you enough..be alone, own it because it is here and now..


We have Netflix, I mean we are never alone alone..


Jasmine attracts things, money, wealth and mental pictures of comfort, clean life where happiness is easy, movement is rich and light carrying us to new heights and down lows of others' reflections of themselves..
I told you it is big

Jasmine which attracts
Grapefruit to sparkle
sandalwood to mellow
patchouli to hold

for some saturn is a ray of sunshine

Can you tell me that in the last year you have not totally changed your mind about what need to change?
Can you tell me that you did not walk away from something you were dragging along for years now? Yes you did!
Dragging it around as if you are somehow in charge of protecting someone from the realities ahead?
Doing this can get you killed like Carl in the walking dead.
There are times to focus on the task and not deviate for sure yea?
Like if Carl had stayed home to protect Alexandria instead of looking for strangers in the woods where is danger.
My gut was wrenched from the first moment he decided to help people and be "good" now.
All his life he wasn't as compassionate, then, something hard ass struck him and he realized what was important. His own death!
more saturn for you there....
I do not know if you watch walking dead. I love the show because even though it is pretend things, Kirkman can really tell a good story  on some real human reactions to stress and all the toxic things that bring us pain and suffering.
Those are the zombies see?
Your toxic reactions to stress..
fear
pain
mental pain
bone aches
muscle aches
teeth need fixed
feet are stiff
now it is time
to take a seat
curl the toes one by one
focus on the baby toe and then release now go all the way with each muscle like next the ankles
focus
read in to that spot and see if it is hot
go up to the knees
think about the hips
how easily they carry you

remember cruelty is easy
and color it what you like
mean is mean
even when you are nice

now breathe in the good though the left side where you get to sift through what is kept and get rid of the waste by the right

What is it you want?

magnetic thoughts here and there
sometimes you kind of stare at the options
sometimes you grab the one that looks easy and then it drags you down for nothing..
sometimes it is people
sometimes it is you honey pulling them
you do not have to


there we are then,  us together making wars and boundaries and blowing up bombs in the sea..which gave us life on this little blue spec and yet  and yet..how we messily fret..


(I will stop)

lessons and more endurance saturn (the past) capricorn (your worth)

My wrath can be fierce.it is true.
Not only do I come from a heavy boxing and martial arts background if you will, I am like a sword with words. I can see cruelty from a mile because I lived it. Beyond what you could imagine. Unless you have seen "midnight" a story https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_(Doctor_Who)by doctor who series..that would describe my life with that guy..wow..You know what is funny?
My mom, she told me, she tried to change my mind and I would not listen,  so loved up I was.
hahahhaaa she was like, "tashi, no, he is a bad  bad boy for you, stay home, be safe"
You can't stay home and not rot..safety is boring, at least I thought so. Now you can't get me to leave my home!
And I got to live beyond what is normal, in the jungle in the mountains always in nature and living a dream soap making life..ah..when people say it could have been so good", mmm so so  good..right? I got to make my own coconut oil from coconuts I collected and ylang ylang I grew and it was great, except.. for... the underlying insidious thoughts that molded us slowly, and with malicious intent.
I almost did not make it out. My kids too. maybe we are still effected. It is what it is. I know that I am somber and must review my thoughts.


"but they are sapphire waterfalls!"
Those were my thoughts then. "everyone should have a chance to change and learn and be good."
:)
They should babes, but belief systems get in the way and they hate instead..until some one good is dead and there is nothing more you can do to them to feel good about yourself under god.

Saturn in Capricorn

I will stay quiet and give people a chance to get it together. I have my limits.
"but you are so sweet!"
They say that about me.
I am not sweet by any means honies. I am fierce and I will not have bad memories spoil  my life or allow myself to be indignant or too proud to just "forgive!"
What ever you are mad about, let it go..seriously, life is too short. That is why there is a saying about it. Keep you boundaries too, I mean of course!

I know I babble on and on.. I know that sometimes you might not even care about what I say here. I know that and I hope I have made you cry maybe one time and laugh many times.
Cry and remember what you came here for and what you brought. Have you lost some things along the way?
Was all this pride you are so fond of worth it? Are you happier now or ever?
Last year, were you happy? Are you doing what you love and love it while you do it? Is you life marred with mean people who could never understand what it is like to be a hostage of ideas to the point of fear and loathing?
Do you stretch or mediate? Do you at least cut your toe nails?

Saturn in Capricorn

Things get real huh?

They do and they are.

Saturn says, "what have you come with?"
"how have you worked?
What words ground themselves through your teeth?


Look the planets do not have a guy ruling them and there is no entity that has control over us beyond our brains creations and thoughts and memories..
memories..
lingering on hurt feelings is Saturn and paying the price for each thought.

There is success and growing beyond what we thought.
And the gravity of our situation becomes real and focused. death too is a part..
know this

we are energy
never to go away and yet to break apart and connect to something else again and again and all in darkness of space we pull in to ourselves and create light.
It is big yo..
we are so too energy
we are also memories
memories we have left behind after we are gone..they can linger for years and cast a wide shadow until they  get pulled once again in to the darkness and become transformed in to....
things

stuff


have a great day babies

more to come from the brain or a crazy greek lady

e l e n e e t h a

sun saturn mercury R venus all in saggitarius

Yup..I still love astrology and I love science, what?
:)

Feel a little bit shaken lately?

Do you feel like some people said more than they should have to you?

Are you feeling like you are being singled out as a villain and in reality you don't give a fuck but something has stirred inside you that has left you with too much awareness as to  how things are?

For me it is all 12th house.. observing others growth and mine too..

For Capricorn too..a ton of secret longings and realities coming up, making your head hurt during the day, perhaps in your sleep your body reacts by clenching..be aware of a new deep line on your left side..the one you must always be aware of who you let in and what thoughts are developing to be driven out....

saturn is always 

skin

bones

teeth

You have all these other planets kind of clustering around  each other and mercury retrograde brings  things out man! Look at the now the chefs in the fine restaurant business! Poor April Bloomfield, she kept her mouth shut and made a good living and now the actual pig has been spotted! I understand and feel regrets for her.

We are all sexist pigs. One of my managers grabbed my ass all the time. I was a body builder, it was a fine fine ass..I did not care at the time. I never slept with any of them. Yuk! This is why you do not go to the hotel  room at all! Go home,  watch a nice thing and eat some real food..plus learn to perform, Osoto Garri!

There are morality clauses being created now that are a needed protocol. We must be respectful to each other, that is an idea which progress and education brings. Men do rule the business and health world and now women who are smart are in and saying, 

"no, I do not want to hug you!"

What kind of freaks me out is how quickly people are willing to axe anyone they can..OMG so mean on the internet, right?

The hate leagues is what I am pondering on. There are many ready and willing to feel better and sweeter, and richer and what ever political things they are groping for..yes groping..National Health Care my ass, make it really free or go home! (seriously, that insurance carrot dangling is old and outdated)Pay doctors loads of money, pay teachers loads of money to make smart people all over earth..YEA!!! 

That Libra moon has brought a bit of justice, and yet still , we must see the  things as requiring review and change.

You must change

You are not safe

keep your eyes open for sly mean vindictive simple uneducated types that may have power in the day time only..

You are your own power and must never back off or spew out meaningless words, you must speak quietly, and with force of wisdom.

Think and be kind.

Do not join in on hate groups about Tump or any other dude in power. they are not your friends and the person who hates them as you might, is not your friend...be aware of too much focus on others and take all that energy to make something amazing happen for yourself, your home and your kin..something which helps us all and gets rid of fat fuks who have no respect for anyone with a vigina..

Evolution 

in mercury we trust mercury retro news and views

Remember the heiress lady I served for a week in costa rica  that was a coke head  who came to the hotel with her costa rican boy?

 I did today because we were talking about our dishes and why people loved my food so much then. That boy she was with gave me looks like she is a jerk and we all knew..he was there for money, which she may not have given to him because she had the big talk. I wonder if he killed her?
Ah the resort hotel business!
My only bad review was from her. she said the food was padestrian at best..ha ha ha
see what had happened was, :), I cooked all day to present dinner at the hotel, at six..We had fresh everything because we grew the food right there. There  was an intern there who came to study gardening in the jungle and I got to cook her goods. It was one of my best memories..The plates I produced were delicious, fresh and unique..I had to make many things from scratch, breads, rolls, salads that blew your mind, even before the cocaine..ha hahaaaa
anyhow, at 4 pm all high on cocaine because she carried around a device that she inhaled right out of..yup..she saw me making stuff and wanted to eat and knew she could not and wanted a "plate" saved for 4 am when she eats..she took a plate and it sat there untouched for 12 hours in the jungle..
That was so crazy!
One gal took ecstasy and was so sweet all that night and in the morning when she was paying to leave, she was a jerk..ah, drugs..so fun right?
The cook, she leaves all that behind and goes home. I loved being a cook there. I made some fine ass dishes, "yo, Thomas Keller!"

I walked to work and to  home all the time.

 Funny, it was in the middle of nowhere and I could walk home because such peaceful natives of the land live there. We became close. We all knew each other.
I love the feeling that no one is going to take my warm bed anytime soon or that I will not have water. Or, kill me walking home.
I am not the adventurous type, all the things I have done in the act of surviving my lot, my creation my attachments and my mistakes that led to my final artistic expressions right now, must be reviewed.

I am emotional to the extreme having lived in violence from men my whole life. having fought back against their strength..I could kick better then I suppose..one of my things I love so much in all of this, is, that my ideas never stop, do they. I love my growth in aromatherapy, I love it, I love oils so much!


When I tell you about all of my life's adventures, aromatherapy, oils, flavors, balance, taste, classic, review, strain, cool, do not speak, say you are sorry. Is it money you want more of?

"I am sorry". it always works, always..

"just because you are right, you don't have a divine right to be mean!"

Word


Mercury retrograde and how our mind remembers words said to us, horrid words running out of our mouths like water..words..I love them!

Water flows, forgives, fears, deeply fathoms easily, assuring,  and is all of life. Drink water!

Nothing is exactly as you think it was anyway, is it? There must be the goodness that developes and the trust and acceptance of one's self must must must come with back up, doings daily and thoughtfulness, right?

That Mercurial Feeling

Mercury Retrograde feeling..
That feeling of discontent and always trying to justify yourself.
Prove that you are worthy of  some unknown driving force.
You know it and it is not really unknown either.
It is your subconscious mind trying to avoid the truth while blaming some other thing that has nothing to do with your guilt, anger, hate and punitive reactions??
Not you, you...but you do know of what I am speaking right?

Mercury kind of makes me grind my teeth a little and I have to be conscious of that because maybe we all hold too much in with all this quiet.
Maybe it is time to say what is on our mind and say it nice not some mad crap and snide remarks..say it gentle and why you want it. Say it real because it has to be a way that is beyond your control beyond what you can understand.

Mercury retrograde  is about fine lines and walking a tight rope. It is imaginary, yo!
You do not have to walk any rope, maybe before you quit half though, walk backwards not forward?
Your call, I say go back and fix yourself not go back and accept every lie  so that you are a whipping boy, someone to despise
locked up in a gilded cage
all tied up so the world can't see,
can't see
your beauty and strength and courage and sexuality with is hot like fire and mellow like wine from an enchanted  vineyard..there is a song about it (sting, if you love somebody)

Ah love..
ah relationaships
ah family
ah, traffic and jerks on the road.

Be chill and be careful.. I broke like three things already!

I am making more balms now and here we are Mercury Retrograde

Re think
Re Do
Accidents on a minor level..broken glass, broken plans..chill out and take a bath!
Everything is better when you are clean and cozy!
Balm slowly warming on your clean damp skin and mixing with your personal musk..mmmm

Balm Gele' Skin Food....

You think it is just about melting some wax, adding oil and there you are, done. It is not that easy and sometimes the essential oils require a little more care. You cannot just add them too soon because they will evaporate fast. I have done a good job here.
silver fir gele'




I am very excited because I bought some lemon 5x!
I know it is not organic lemon but it is so strong and so lemony and so refreshing I had to buy 16 ounces.
There is a special set you can but from the menu on etsy and the cream is fantastic with lemon and a little vanilla and deliciously prepared shea butter.

shea butter (3cayg)
jojoba
avocado oil
marula oil
lemon 5x
vanilla infusion in coconut oil
5x lemon set

I bought enough rose hydrosol to make the spray toner with it and I am very happy.


I am fixing to make some new sprays too!
Good times.
Re Think
Re Do
Remind
Regrets?
Nope!