Saturday, June 3, 2017

hello and thank you

The more I read, the more I am grateful. I am grateful about my life and my heart's needs always being met.

Remember cologne guy? Well he dumped me because he does not want to dump cologne. Sigh..I mean on the one hand it was nice to have a dude fawn all over me and I know none of that is real. I have been around the block a few times and so I engaged to my horror. It is horror when these dudes come sniffing like they do. I  do smell nice and well, somehow Uranus struck again and I am in this weird friendship which secretly I found a little gross because it is so outside the box for me to engage with men.
I am a monk and I like it.

"Mom where are you going"
" I am invited by Ted to go to a movie"
"mom don't go, you won't have fun" They all chimed, their friends who come here often also rebelled at the notion.
" already said yes, Ted needs me right now, he is nice, I want to see if i like it.."
"you won't, mom, you know that."
Later,  I came home all perclempt and displaying asthma symptoms from the cologne. I thought it was Adrenalin and it was actually his perfume which choked me for two hours. Why would someone wear such heavy cologne is my question.
I don't know but I asked him to wear nothing and he got pissed of course.
I am sorry..I have issues and he could not adjust.
Needless to say, I am traumatized by the whole thing.
I can not imagine fishing for dudes like that and having to drop people and get new people because of some angst and loneliness thing that needs filled. Awe.
I am not lonely. I have never been lonely.

I think the thing is that I am a witch and men get scared of that.

As well they should be as I am not to be trifled with for too long.

"do you believe in Karma?"
"no I do not, I relate to the law of cause and effect"

I am Kali
I am Durga..

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