Thursday, March 30, 2017

aromatherapy times of year and how we change without even knowing

I hope we are all intending to be smart about it.
I hope we can look to the future now and smile a little.
It is hard. It has been a really emotional year for many people.
Everyone's true colors came out in a way didn't they?

Let me tell you a little story about a gal named ann
they told to call herself that because her whole name was not american enough.
They told her the words to say and the clothes to wear and she tried to find her path out of nowhere to somewhere. They tried to mold her in their hate
they tried
they tried to lie and make her recite creeds
they tried
They thought they could preserve the old ways if they tried hard enough, they can never do that because of evolution..

When my great grandfather came to this land in 1913 he was alone. There were some friends here to greet him maybe and maybe not. They gave him work in a diner and he worked and worked and saved money to bring his family here. some came in rags with no money and a few grains of seeds they smuggled in because they treasured their seeds and their foods. they brought us their food and still can except nowadays we only want their food and not them. We only  want to uncover their women and kill their men. 

Vengeance on Midian
17"Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man intimately. 18"But all the girls who have not known man intimately, spare for yourselves. 19"And you, camp outside the camp seven days; whoever has killed any person and whoever has touched any slain, purify yourselves, you and your captives, on the third day and on the seventh day.…numbers 31:18

And you are telling me being a feminist is evil? Really?

It is always as before, men fighting men and teaching women to be wretched to other women.
Is it really a sisterhood then? It can be, it can be an humankind and  not some new group to fight an old group.
I am  a feminist and I am a raging whore and old whore because the whore, she has had to fight, she has been beaten and worked to the bone, she has created beauty in many forms..many many smelly forms....Be  not a killer but a fighter with more and more desire, fervor, mindfulness and glory of being..

clean life
wonderful smart smart smart think
self aware think
kindness think

Saturday, March 25, 2017

oh thank goodness

I started messing with the new blogger themes and got all messed up.
I couldn't even go to my own menu and then I had to go be off so I left it. That garish orange, yuk!
I made it a plain background again  that I can read so it is going to stay this way for a while unless I let that Iranian Greek guy who wants  to come here and fix things more classy for us. He thinks I am smart enough to hang out..
Well his hair is a little too combed for me isn't it!! and
I hate cologne on a man, on most men.. I want a man to smell like me because
lol Maybe I am already feeling vibes like he will fix my computer needs and then be like all I like you so..maybe I am too defensive about who I share my sacred gardens with..yea?
Everyone has an opinion about where I should take this business.
I do not know myself.
I actually meet many local gals who have brought their soap in whole foods and really admire their products and success and one or two times I will  share about how I make soap and it is more I would say, high caliber..she was so nice with her really discerning eyes..Taurus..they are super smart.
"how do you do it so perfect and exact every time?", I asked her one day a long time later.
"well, I don't waste money one extreme oils and expensive blends for one ting!"
Ouch! I got poked! ha ha I smiled.:) "silly duck!" I said to myself!
She is has to make a recipe and do it the same way every time to have a product one can make 200 bars of..every time every day..
The fat ratio is one thing I stick to..the essential oils, no, Boring right? I am a soap chef! My ideas flow like the special and exquisite delights you will feel when you unwrap a new bar of deliciousness.
I have made 200 bars of soap a day in a past life..yes I have. Even then, I had the menu and then my deviations in to skin care gave me a respite. remember fire soap? mm
My brain can't do that. I am so sorry, but I do not think by myself, I can muster up 200 bars a day and unless it  explodes so much on line through some medium which totally comes as a surprise..well, maybe, I would include one or two of my boys. Things would change for sure.
Things will only go in the direction I intend them and work for.

It is not a bad thing to make a basic line for every one.
I feel our (our) products are not for everyone.

 As the earth is right now spinning around the sun, the sun is also spinning hard and spinning around this giant magnetic disk of stuff and things and other stars and other rock planets with creatures..which we re all passing places we are not even remotely aware of.
This to me is the possibilities of everything being available. Focus and understanding..yea..

in that whole scheme it does not matter our opinions, or our successes..because at any given moment it can all be over and has been over and over many many times. Mostly though and right now it is not over. Our star is just fine. Humans will always flock to each other, and I invite the mind of a woman, the mind of a man who breeds love, kindness, learning, teaching and all that stuff that actually makes us special in our own vast yet light sphere of eternal being.

I am reading Siddhartha..I have many thoughts...


 Soap Menu for the week,

Blood Orange Clove Soap

Gritty City with clay and raspberry seeds
red mandarin oil

 Lavender with aztec clay and seaweed grit

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Happy Spring my goddesses and gods

Everything is slowly waking up for real now and it is like when you push snooze and sleep so deeply for another 30 minutes and then you realize, "yup, morning!"
My last dream was me baking loaves of bread in a big wood fired oven and having to burn them because of zombies..ha ha ha
I know what it represents and it drives me crazy why my mind is making things up that make no sense and yet..
It is all about letting go and getting rid of the people who drain you.
They want to drain you because that is all they know how to do. It takes skill too so you have to never relax and never be lax because they creep in and try to get in to your brain..
they feel it takes away from the pain of knowing what they are and what their innuendos mean.
 It happens and we all don't even notice. Our own innuendos fly around like invisible notions..they are real and have matter and travel without us noticing..
I digress...again:)
 Now, sing!!
"Know your own innuendos and arrange them in good order so that you are not an angry cunt all day..
good to know.."

I have a shit ton of great seeds this year and I am going to plant each and every one of them and it is gonna be so fun..and so beautiful!

Oils..yes..I have some nice oils right now and the products reflect that.Seems like March is quiet always and even is cool, because germination does not just happen in dirt. my brain is sizzling  with more ideas and even extreme notions..always.

 Burning my bread loaves in my dream. It was an act of protection for my family in some way. I had a long steel staff which I buried all the loaves in the fire to make more heat and coal and then at the same time I was giving orders as to the next thing to do. My hair was long as if in a past life.
I want the oven man! I fucking want it! I want a nice one and not some ugly thing..bricks and style and pizza..what?
Even soap makers eat!
spicy veg

savarin with ginger and blood orange

delicious vetiver soap

Friday, March 17, 2017

The Mars The Movements

I hope we can all be over all of our shake ups the last six months. I realized I am emotional and irrational at times yet I do notice when things are crazy and what I have to do as to what I want to do.

What I want is a ten to four..or six..we will see. the building I have been passing since Costa Rica ten years ago is now for sale..
I mean what  am I thinking?
So what if I think about what should happen and what steps need taken to reach my desired conclusions and of course things don't always go the way you planned. They won't so get that clear right there.
I am right now working for a corporation that is quickly building itself up to be a bigger corporation and man, I am tired.
How many more years I will pound that pavement, I do not know, but I just again, bought shoes that I will wear out in 4 to 6 months.
We do on average six to ten miles a day where I yea, I cry when some jerk of a woman is a cruel dick to me..I am a nerd and put art in to my hands to serve you and you are mad..
It is so funny really. :)
Moving on then...:) I have been hurt before by people that said they love me..rawerrr:) who are these clowns?

I have in my painful crying and longing for oils made some very delicious soap nuggets. I am using a new technique in  some bars that will reflect this. The rose cardamom soap is one..Vetiver is an other one. they turned out good. really good.
rose cardamom soap

To me, soap is art. It is the fat of the land and the fat I love to use to make everyone happy.
Organic coconut is oil wonderful and sustainable. What else is there to say except let us make a cake. Yes, let us make a cake and then eat some while we wait for our soap to cure.

What a wonderful beginning for our new phase of life. It is a beginning of sorts. I think one way to deal with this is of course of course try to do your best and as always say you are sorry for making dumb mistakes. Walk away from a fight..I know I talk big, but I never want to strike someone..honestly.
We must remain gracious and some loose their cool and freak out over the boss of the day..he is just a boss who at the end of the day probably has digestive issues..ha hahaaa most people do and  then they come to me and cry and want to talk about eating essential oils and then they freak out and call corporate and tell them oh, "they" told me to eat this lemon oil and you are not supposed to eat it. I want the one you can goes on like this all day. It becomes pedestrian and sort of insidious too. The companies do it and people buy it up like ants drawn to the house with them most crumbs, which is mine.
"yes, let me go  get that special lemon oil that says you can eat it so now you can eat this special lemon oil, because it is food based from special lemon trees"
Thanks fucking Young Living!
One lady from  another brand came in one time stenching like cigarettes and talking about the healing effects of their edible oils, food grade and organic and 90 dollars for 15 mls of frankincense.
"stenching of gross tobacco and now you are like telling what is good for me?" I thought!
I snapped at her and said that it is ridiculous and dangerous to speak that way about oils. They are not a commodity (think again). I felt like they were trying to take one of my children to undress and send them to be strippers in the dirtiest crack house. Like casting pearls to swine and like putting down a red velvet pillow in the mud where everyone tramples.
that was years ago now.
I have relaxed about eating oils a bit. I will use a drop lemon in my sugar syrup. I always have. I never one time schemed to sell edible oils. One drop boiled out. Not ten drops in lemonade every day! I mean seriously. Then again, out of every 100 people maybe one will actually love the oils and take good care of them. It would be nice.
People are extreme. They love to copy. Which is why I am re learning my skill right now. Which is why I will count each step. I will copy from  masters and I will  to be better organised and weigh and measure more thoroughly and I will have become more focused than ever before.

I will

You will

Monday, March 13, 2017

full moon gladness mixed with tears

It is cold and icy and yesterday, a lady was so mean to me it gave me anxiety and i was like, "wtf?' to myself all day. It hurt me to the core. I do not know why I am so sensitive like this! She was one of a thousand people I see weekly, no faced almost. She was a blond I remember that.
I am so dumb and also I took a brilliant day for granted, on automatic I suppose. and in less that a minute..some shit went down!
"do you have pink salt?'
Me, "oh yes we have Himalayan and Redmond pink from out west"
"NO, not that Himalayan, the pickling salt!"
"oh, sodium nitrate, no that is poison I said automatically,

" she got mad, it was a split second of crazy intense mad too..
"I did not come here to argue!!"
"I am sorry", I whispered and walked away, "oh shit storm!"
five minutes later....
She found it necessary to come between my three customers who were waiting to speak with me, she found it then a real big deal that she yell at me in the whole place about how rude I was and I should have only said "we don 't have it" not any extra info..

rawerrr and lol...

I did not know what do so I said "I am sorry and walked away, figuring, she would let it be or not..then I would have to call the is never good..and she did leave! I got all shook up! One tear came out of my eye!

I am not rude, grow up and I will say something is dangerous when it is. It is dangerous and she may always get these kind of responses because well, she is behind the times, mad that she does not want to change, and perhaps she has had to deal with such reactions on a daily basis and is always in an "argument" with someone at any time. I can see her point. I can.

um, if you don't want to argue, go to google, go to amazon go to a deli that makes cured meat..and order your powder..jeez!


I was the one who was open to a response because it was the numbers..and the right time before our encounter. I found it odd that level of control and retreat i had to endure and not fight her right there..I can't..that is why I am a zen warrior and I do not have to kill her..unless she comes at me with force then I would taker her down as I learned for years to do and speak a whisper in her ear and tell her that I expect more from a lady. and sodium nitrate is poison..are you kidding me right now?

I came home and made soup and took a hot shower with the old whore. I forget sometimes how she covers you in luxurious soothing patchouli vetiver goodness and hidden deep inside are the strengths we have to pull daily, the control, the weird interactions and reaction we give. to each other.
Not everyone is your friend, very few in fact..think about what is important..:):me:) and you(:

Saturday, March 11, 2017

here I am

How do you do..

We have cocoa butter at the store now. people will eat that. How crazy! At least it is organic.
I just want to rub it on my body. Black seed oil any one?
I hear it cures cancer.
yea right, just like angels hover over you and call  you Eddy!
ha :)
Yes, take it if you want but knowing me, I would rather put it on my skin. I did go through a love affair with black seed oil a little while ago. I put it in a charcoal based cleanser with rose and myrrh.
Mirror of Isis Cleanser and then the name isis became famous for other reasons I would rather not be acquainted with.
Black seed oil was in one of my health aging serums in the beginning. I loved it and then it turned heavy like sediment, like pumpkin seed oil or tamanu..I mean not on the face. I used it up and have not regretted doing that. A face serum should be light and enter the skin and feel happy and soothing. One should not cringe at a strong odor of omegas in the nut seeds. Black Seed Oil..
I mean, is stinky and well, I have learned that too much money spent on the fray can lead to money wasted.
It is all about the money in everything isn't it?
Just to make a serum is expensive once you get the oils together.

I am kind of excited about prickly pear seed oil.
I bought a little bit from eden and it is lovely.
I will buy more of that one.

I mixed

10 mls prickly pear
1 ounce organic jojoba
1 ounce organic argan oil
1 ounce marula
1 ounce rose hip seed oil ( you can use less as some of them have a strong odor. I use Trilogy from New Zealand)
add essential oils
I like sandalwood at the moment with vetiver so you know..:)


Friday, March 10, 2017

More sage and lavender more old whore and more better life

They are are so special. I love making them. All the soaps, I fall in love with them. Some right away like that one guy that dove in and kissed me in the first five minutes of our acquaintance. :) Some are are a little bit too much and you have to take a time or two to nurture and develop with. Like good friends do.

It becomes a ritual because after all these years I really do best in quietude and solo work.
I recently did a very expensive project for a girl who throws money at me. It still had to be something I love. I have to live with it and focus on and harbor its development..
I get so nervous and spend too much money and then what I do with that is really right. It is my hope,

You get your soap stuff together (:mise en place..:)you line up your ingredients as to not miss a thing. You have planned and planned for weeks on just the right amount of oils to suit this recipe. What else is there? Throw it all together and sniff and stir and smile on top of the soap cream.

I have added so much myrrh and vetiver to one such soap mixture that I cried when it was over. I have been crying the whole time. Myrrh can do that to you. Your compassion levels become high and you get to see things from a mothering aspect rather than in anger over some jealousies and rants. People! They suffer and you get to to cry with them sometimes. Read "me before you" the book not the movie.
You will cry and cry hard.

Spring is up on us and I aim to titillate with ideas which I hope will inspire you to great thoughts and silly laughter.
The next six weeks will be intense and you a chance to add new skills to your wagon of confidence goodies. you carry that with you so it might as well be  easy. Make sure all your tools are well taken care of and your hard work will show.
Lower types will want to fight and carry on and suffer with their own made misfortunes..yea. Some will cry and the smart ones will learn and live to see another day.

It is so cold today but I feel spring anyhow. The sun will shine and the birds will sing. It is gonna happen!

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

I have been busy and..haven't had much to say except that I hope everything is going your way

I am busy these days too. It seems like spring break can't comes fast enough..and then what, it'll come, it'll go and every moment doesn't count as much as you want it to.
I wish I could just spew thing to keep you entertained so you can always think I'm special. I am not special..just a nerd a tired nerd..ha haha

I took the whole day off yesterday not because I wanted to. I had to. Working retail kicks my but. Sundays can be a killer with many people in my face :) all day.
I am gracious. I walked a shit ton and I basically tried to get up and move but instead slept all day. All day..I ate and slept. I ate a cake I made the day before and threw it out because no, it sucked..
I am learning proper home baking. Next will be puff pastry. I have never done correctly and it must happen.
Even when I sleep all day, I cook. Nerd.

This week I begin a new schedule and so shipping days may change..I do not think so.

Have a wonderful day, I am off to count things and be happy as a woman, mother, soap maker bitch.. oh, I love you!

Sunday, March 5, 2017

thoughts about things and stuff on a wintry day in march cold and sunny

Cold and sunny and birthing something new as
the excitement tickles as you brew and coo, fanning your best thoughts.

As you think about what people say and what people do to each other and see their hurt and how they meet their challenges daily. It is mind boggling to me how complicated we can make our lives. It is our adrenals that keep us on our toes and take us to irreparable places. It is our mindfulness that keeps us in control to be able to handle the things. It is what it is good for. Our mind that knows what is best, we can be trained by our inner mind! Ha!

I feel strong
and really grateful

I am mostly content as a person. Not really. Not every minute.

I got really mad this week because one of my boys took a le cruset and did a stir fry in it and well, it is still soaking as I daily rub it with salt to get it to go clean..I say things..

"hey, I leave my pristine kitchen and you guys leave twenty cups on the counter and now you are making potatoes with out cleaning up first and also using an improper  pan to make them??"
"Like WTF!!"

"You never taught us"

Well, there is a dirty excuse I tell ya!

"hey mom, you want to hear a guitar riff I made up?"


Life is like this, and we are always reviewing our behaviors..we are, shouldn't we?

" Cooking is art and we need to all cook more. Clean up, you can't leave you plates all over the place, what am I running here, some frat house!?"

I would rather cook alone I  think then teach, and some us are like that. I think it is time I became more direct about kitchen rules..

Welcome, to anastasia'a sweet love cafe :)

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