Sunday, January 29, 2017

January 29 anticipation and just days before the darkness is over and Imbolg

It is just days before Imbolg! That is a time when our sun our star goes enough over the horizon that we  get to see his rays and know now that they will only get more bright and more warm and more green grass grown and more flowers open like pink pussies screaming, "here I am am and thank you oh life giving forces! ha ha ha ha ha
For sure it is a hard to word to say. I rarely say it.
Calm down and put on some nice oil. I know you'll feel better. How vulgar it sounds and how vulgar "vulgar" sounds..


warm bed
real and unreal
must be kind to self and extend that truth to others..must be honest to self and extend that truth to others..must not believe own lie..must not

I slept badly because I am so excited about things. I also wore a new amethyst pendant that had maybe something to do with it. I feel energized and hopeful for so many wondrous things.
It is also the new moon I think  my list is getting long.
A million dollars would buy all the vetivers and sandalwoods  I need and would would bottle them and give some away to all thirsty soulful babes! I would!
I bought some real verbena..not litsea which I do not know why but it smells like citronella just a little  too much for me. It is like whoa! Maybe just a drop next time, anastasia!

Verbenna is more I do not know, grassy but it is not grass. It is softer, earthier and a little greener rather that citronellol overload..
That is what I will make a room spray with..I am listing it maybe today. I love a nice room spray now and again because I am lazy and hate to keep refilling a defussor all the time. Such fads, yea? I love classic, basic, clean, and purposeful. Still though, these little machines seem to break up the molecules in such a way that you get to breath them in and they can radiate in you. I tried it for a month with a nice frankincense oil I got from ananda apothecary. I feel like I got better in my walking and my joint management. It is management because you have to be willing to change otherwise the doctors  will fill you full of drugs that are too good until the make your colon explode..truth!
How about you?
What has the new moon brought in to deep seed mode? What are you conjuring in your deepest heart for yourself?
What are you still refusing to see?
Look and change, you must change your mind, look for a new way to work or learn.
It is the only way!

Saturday, January 28, 2017

perfect balance of vetiver and oakmoss and what happens next.

Work happens next. Work is money and things and a nice blanket at night.
Work is secret money stashed away. A secret job you had mentioned a year ago come real.
work is me and you working things out baby
work is us telling the truth
and being kind
it sounds a lot like love to me what do you think?

Vetiver is all about work. it is a grassy rooty and thick long frondy leafed beauty of the jungle. man has baked it, made paste with it and cultivated it way behind ginger and turmeric but in the same hot dry  to rainy climate. It is usually planted on hills to hold the rocks and dirt together so that they don't slide in the ocean with their food. It turned out the the thing they are using to support other things was just as valuable as the!
Vetiver has properties that demand attention to the mind. How shall  I say..
to me vetiver holds things together, so bones, skin, meat underneath. :)

Vetiver helps with muscle aches because it anti inflammatory properties. I will not go in to chemistry, Think how ginger might be soothing or is kind of like that.. Vetiver takes it a step further and brings a little more dirty good, we will say..dirty good.
I love vetiver alone, with oakmoss and with any citrus. I love vetiver and patchouli with oakmoss and rose and frankincense and opanax and labdanum and sandalwood..ambergris or musk? Oh must you?
I do not have any real musk.

Friday, January 27, 2017

don't forget about what is best in life

You are and no one are because inside you that voice is who you really are.

It is an amazing thing the conscious mind and the out side mind
Wouldn't it be nice if they were in unison? It happens, that is why some people get whatever they want just by willing it. No, not in an instant..everything takes time planning, working, thinking..

I hope your secret thoughts are healthy
helpful to others
helpful to loved ones
on point
inside your mind  on other words don't lie to yourself, you are not in the "best" club, Earth is a little blue rock, there are so many more like us..we will never actually meet but we will be able to send our consciousness! That  is a long way away and hopefully the human race can get over these bullshit fantasies and accept everyone and we all work towards a better healthy green living planet and the Gaza strip is just one aspect of real estate, nothing more. who ever lives there lives there. Russia open, all war want higher thoughts where we are actually loved by god. make war go away, make babies healthy always, make mothers free to have love and respect and get it through your head there are no virgin births. Fairy tales are no way to live life! It puts all women at number two, that is when the trouble starts. :)

There was prayer I read long ago from Yogananda, who I loved for years..Did he help me stop the bad that flooded like the blood torrent  going though the doors in The Shining? was his words that helped me cope. Truth!
I was like, "WTF God, I did all this and you give me hypocrisy and evil, wtf??"
It was not enough meditative breathing to suit him I suppose. People like to call it "karma"..
this one guy  who loves eastern philosophy loves to call it "karma"..
Look we are not tested by a divine force to see if we choose wisely..we are that force..we always were that force. actions equal outcomes..

We are made in stars..truth..stars take billions of years to make themselves and make rocks hold together in the vast dark void..we are made of calcium, silicon, sulfur and gold, all produced by stars only..the biggest ones make gold, they all make iron which is our blood..iron kills them as soon as they make it at the end of their lives..All of those things and here we are thinking intelligent beings radiating heat taken from our parent star. and why stay with stuck small concepts when there is that going on right now and always? I do not know..but Yognanda always said we are everything..
"we are everything, thou art everything" Or, "thou art everything, I am everything." Yes you are everything.
I should say, yogananda got me though a bunch of though times. They were tough because I did not understand or have enough courage to stand on my own thoughts until now and thoughts that are molded by me and not people who are looking over my shoulder making sure I use the right ones.
Too much trust in god and lazy mind...
Some one on line said I was a satanist because I said that Satan was a christian deity and for that I was a satanist and headed towards hell of all hell..
lol rawrrrrrrhhaaaa
Yea, give me more fairy tales that will always exceed any sort of logic!
I told her I am not and she is not in any sort of position to assign my leadership, be it spiritual or otherwise. I told her to accept that the Satan she hates and adores so much for me is not my problem. I almost laid in  but let it go at that now. How can she not see that her actual accusations are filled and oozing with hate?
People, always yelling like angry monkeys!
 I follow my mom, my dad, my boys, my awesome girls and my own heart in matters that must be faced with calm steel god iron? No, but nucleic acid is likely involved and the brain and some sort of dark web and it is cold and ..oh man..

Thursday, January 26, 2017

what are we fighting for and Madonna does not represent me

This is the best time for us and we are still  yelling. I am not saying you should not go and make a point. I find that too many people trashing a city is something that must be noted. Also yelling and being pissed whilst jetting to and fro with your leather gloves and your southern wonderful chill life where you do not struggle each day to work for the food and the lights.
Yea, they are so mad and want to say, "here we are and we are mad."

Why though? Why are we mad? I feel like this is the best time for me as a woman. I am smart and capable so why would I  be too mad at the system?
I am not mad at the system which should be us but after thousands of years of kings and rulers we are always looking to have a savior who thinks like us..does he really? The better question, why are so fucking lazy as to even consider a leader? There always will be one. Some of us are in the back and there is plenty going on and many of us here...up front, there will always be lies and tretury..I am speaking metaphorically here.

Are we channeling hate instead of working for better good? Maybe a little because that is  what happens when we get pissed off long enough. When we get beaten for many years and finally break free to a place and time where beating on girls and women  is not fuking cool and you go to jail! hail to the jail that holds the woman beaters!
There was a time not long ago when we could not even wear pants because those powers that be said "NO"..why? Well you know, god, good, clean, fake, big house, shoes, heels, pop culture, pop corn,  gourmet pop corn..kale, moringa, jojoba, uggs, pizza, cheese, brie, tripple cream oozing delice', oh man...we have it fuking hard don't we Madonna?

There was this one time my shoes broke as I was headed to  catch the bus 6 miles away so I could make enough money for beans and  rice for the week. I was half way down and pop, was rainy season and raining already. I showed up  wet disheveled and looking rather bleak, and my rich client in the gated community thought lower of me for the look. he said, "por dios, anastasia, que passo?" he asked why I didn't just buy a pair of 5 dollar sandals in town. I told him, I did not have time but it was really because I ran out of money days ago while my Buddhist( or what ever he was) ex meditated on the veranda. yea, pretending you are good is not fun when your shoes break I guess!
"oh..let's see, how will my kids eat for the next few days? God will provide, I will go meditate"
weeks later "grrr"
It adds up..the disdain for laziness, which I really seem to have..being lazy myself in so many ways.

There was a time we could not even talk to our mom about sex or boys or everything has changed and for the better. Sexuality has taken a strange turn..I am learning to be gracious and always say to my children..YOU'RE GOING TO FUKING HELL IF YOU HAVE SEX ANY OTHER WAY!!" LOL
"Look,I don't care how you have sex, as long it is not down by the river with the  heroin, you study hard and make momma money so I can retire and make soap and stuff"

Friday, January 20, 2017

my health no regrets

No one cares about is true:) lol my well being. They just assume I am good. I am.
Like they all think I am a machine and will live till 100 or some dumb crazy number. You never see a 100 year old being too active because by that time carrying around the meat suit gets heavy and you just can't do it.
I am fine by the way. yes, it has been interesting aging and well, I have to say, I am fine. my knees, my hip my boobs are fine, my foot, my heel my wonderful toes, my nose, still intense, my nose is. My heart, I feel the wave of any thing like a human. I am emotional when I see injustice.
I do not believe in salvation from anything..I do not believe in the power of god in a sense that he punishes, or gives bad karma. You should have no regrets. he should not either, he made us this way now he is bitching.:)
"oh god, here she goes!"
A girl who seems to like Greek boys and found out I'm Greek, she kept lingering and we were about to close..she had 5 minutes of my time...and we almost got in to it but, as I am always super right and found a way to titillate her, we carried on for a minute..I engaged because she engaged and it went good.
"do you think Greek men are promiscuous?"
I smiled.."yes, there is a culture of high infidelity rates among some the old testament to see why women are treated with such disrespect. Everything leads to the now and what we have become and what we are still becoming as womankind for reals.."
"I don't know what you are talking about, I am christian'"
"well then read the old testament and study why god is so pissed at women, so as to burn them, beat them and impose impossible standards which can never be met"

"thou shalt not suffer a witch to live"
I asked her, "who in their loving heart would say such a thing?"

"kill all the men and children but keep the young virgins for yourself"

If we would have still followed all the rules from the OCD men who just kept writing stuff and making more rules..well guess what?  (80% of people in jail are Christians..sorry that is true.)

"Okay then, we all should go back to that burning bush business and never rely on herbal medicine, pot, a good scotch, a tv show, that herbal soap you are holding right now, sex two times in a row and then the next day without performing rituals to cleanse yourself.. all those things would be blasphemy or witch craft and they are not.."
We all have our rituals..right?
Guess how many non religious people are in jail for bad crimes? 0.1 %

I am here to say
I have no regrets
over random mutant mistakes
or the way I comb my hair
over who I had sex with
and who I really had sex with
over the stupid purchases through the years and over my reaction when they turn my electric off
I cry of course
I cried when that guy who I really had sex with burned me so bad like any man god of his day would have
already in hate
already ready to strike at any mis thought
I escaped with my life

I have no regrets
I climbed that mountain over and over
and sang to the trees every day
I sing to the birds here now
I sing in my heart even at night when I sleep
I know because it rings in my ears in my half awake.
I am so happy to be me. I do not rage at my own heart like an imposed upon punishment.
I am free and it feels so good.
This is why I make is a way for me to impose on my heart the best most wonderful thoughts with sooth me, teach me and help me to change my mind..and actually run from evil which in its subtle form can drain you so fast that you become a slave to the one thing that is holding you back. Do not be a slave to things. Use things not people..use things for your good, not people for gratification..
It is why I write in this blog.
The real magical arts, the real wonderful things that make us tick and guess what..logic wins over burning a was mostly women, burned alive by Christians..why are we over looking such important details?
Now we get to hate Muslims and there is no more black president in
You know what I say when there is racist talk..
"god made everything so you have to love everyone"


children's song sung with a strut..

"I am walking in a jungle, I am not afraid."

Thursday, January 19, 2017

I made some soap

It is still soft but came out nice. The oats with shea and lavender is potent and will be lavender throughout till it is done!
Sometimes I get an oil that does not please me and I make a soap and I still don't, or can't get in to its vibe.
I bought litsea cubeba from two different vendors. the first one smells so much  like citronella that I can not get past it. I will likely put that soap away for a while and make a new batch.
Do I hate citronella?
No, I just do not want it on my skin is all.:)
Then again, that spikenard beer soap was so stinky that I was scared. It sold through every fat bar! I have one left! How do I do it?? Some people really liked it. Amazing how things can change. Change our mind and become something nice.
I also bought some organic lemon grass and plan to make soap with lemongrass. It will be lovely, I promise and have a little scrub to it!

I made some winter body cream and its vanilla notes haunt me.
 I made some perfume for a girl and her ideas flow in to mine as if we connect through dark matter. We do. Even at this moment as you read this, we are connected.

I am hunkering down some more on perfume and sprays. still waiting for some last minute oils and so it goes.
The raspberry dirty girl soap was such a hit, I may just make a new batch .
Red mandarin scent with some lavender, a sweet lavender, like Bulgarian.
That was such a nice recipe with honey, raspberry seeds, clay and Alaskan Copper River silt..
We should have more of that silt I say!
People are really something to me. They are asking for more and more scrubby soap.
Such a contrast from the people who want smooth! I like everything in soap..not citronella and not spikenard..okay a drop drop. in some other new thing in the way future.

I made some rustic birch tar soap. It always smells like wet ashes in the beginning and then transforms. I only made a few like 6 bars. I put the birch tar, the conditioning fats and some choya loban and some really good frankincense oil I had left over form the holidays batches. It is going to blow your mind and you will love its effects because like it or not, birch does something to your angry skin.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

wrinkle creams and angelna jolie

She has a new skin care product that is currently totally sold out and just now in stock.
If you buy it you will look like those pictures on the computer. Before After. I look great always by the way and do not rely on 12 geese and coyote for my status coat this winter. it is 40* out there you do not need that much
Looking good though..hmn...
I am sure she did not look that good after they removed both her breasts because she did not want to get cancer..I bet she looked rough. We all have. You know that.
I am sad for her beyond words and happy for her.
Now the collagen cream and all its benefits. The miracle cure, the temporary hyloronic acid and the reality that your skin will sag no matter what, that is all a lie..the miracle part is.
of course try other people's skin care, not just mine:)
I personally think it is all hype and the real you comes out. I do not know the real Angelina. I thought she was a peace worker and all that.
Where do you think collagen comes from? It is a dead animal if you must know and ranks out there with emu oil said to cure anything, make you strong and prevent cancer.
I tell you it is sad that people value things and are still, so unsatisfied. I think she cannot possibly be that smart then?
I just thought she seemed smart. I guess one needs money to cheat and to the masses like a dirty whore?
Anyhow the tabloids are all there just to make us yearn for unreal adventures. why do you think all the porn?
I am saying one thing here if anything, that we must learn to value real arts and real knowledge not what value our shoes or our  coat has. It has value but are you happy?
Are you really content?
For that stuff, I am good. For the more part, yes I will be content.
Am I content? Hmn...
I hope not.
I hope I always yearn always for more  for really good things.
I hope that I will always look out at the waves of light always traveling outwards and in in my, our reflection through our eyes. It is amazing!
I can't explain it. It is real and it is big and the way I know it is I can kind of understand real chemistry a little more now and I can kind of understand how elements come together to form everything.
Can a collagen molecule with as a bunch of hyaluronic acid in it pass though all five layers of skin and bond with enough peptide chains to actually form better collagen bonds  on the skin? Sure, sure!
(the answer is no)
Angelina, keep putting all that crap on your skin or the masses, you soak in some  dirty bath bomb from Lush and then worry about cancer! Are you crazy?
remember when we loved Lush. if a bath bomb turns your water purple and bright yellow, it is bad. bad..very bad.
 The only reason I stumbled upon the miracle cream it is that I was lured to read an article about their divorce. My bad..they got me.
It was nothing more that another skin care line to make money. Collagen creams! That is why they come in asking for it at the store so much.
Here we go then. We will sell thousands!
shea butter hyaluronic acid, collagen and I don't know what other things. I bet it is an alcohol serum like thing though..yuk
I like to read their ingredients.
It is few things batched in to a big liquid carrier and then whipped in to a cream in big vats at nice temps and then they add some poly hexa tetra hyleronic acid or make emulsions..there is steric acid, and too many other emulsifiers to list.
who cares!

Olive oil, it is a beautiful serum all on its own!

Did you try my rose cleanser with olive oil yet? It is so nice man!
I made a small batch and then put a little bees wax which has just the right amount of fatty acids to emulsify organic olive oil. It is so rosy and will remove all the make up. We should always have this.
I like it more on a dry face. I have used it with hot hot water as well.
Rose is so amazing. I think natural skin care is both perfect and the perfect way to pass nutrients in the skin without any chemical intrusions. Rose has many many benefits.

heart warming
anti inflammatory

If you want collagen on your skin, go ahead. I know it will not do anything any other grease would do.

Eat right if you want nice skin. Too much restaurant food is a fuk of a way to nurish.
Eat real food made by your hand. If you do not know how to cook. learn to eat more simply.
Salad is cheap.
Everything is about your intentions, your skin shows it. Does it glow?

It is winter, it is likely needing a nice face it is my turn to show you the whore's ways!
happy gelee skin care treatment

Monday, January 16, 2017

run away from fake amber and stop disgracing aromatherapy

I hope that you already know how bad those perfumes are for you. I hope you do. And Young Living, thank you for disgracing aromatherapy by feeding extra oils down people's gullet so that you can waste rare and beautiful things while making a loads of money and rapping the minds of housewives everywhere for when they finally leave your web of money grabbing whores,  they are left with no more learning than and child learning to read a school book.
Good things take time, learning about oils is a life time.

After a weekend of the masses buying and talking and asking  the old white guy who has to argue about the 24 ounces to 32 ounces of brands and their weights and measures and the girl with the boils and the man with acid and the lady who yelled at the desk about the peanuts (not kidding) and why  her son was not given cash, no receipt though so no cash..the boy goes out to the car and then she comes in..ha ha
big beautiful dark skinned momma with a big mouth and a bad attitude..dang man..they gave her the peanut money and made it good but she had to complain for 30 minutes about another store where she frequently returns everything after she east some of it ))) and wants only cash back..
It is all about money and she is all about fraud but who cares in the end. It is just peanuts which you should have eaten, so few they were! It is not the peanuts okay!
It is her need to be entitled and special over the peanuts and each time she brings them back!
You know what I would do if that happened the "one" time?
Yes, I would say, "no soap for you, now we are done. Buy that other stuff with the shiny soy bean oil"

You either love the food or you don't. If you don't, then do not waste everyone's time yelling how you want someone fired because of your peanuts. lol..funny stuff
By the way, It is not a race thing, It is fraud and entitlement mixed in with anger over having to pay a bill on that coat you're wearing or you just maybe always learned to yell at people trying to do their job and run a computer so they can weigh and measure your peanuts. It is just peanuts, right?
Maybe if she was not so immersed in showing all her church friends how amazing she is with that coat, the heels, the black stockings, the good boy by her side..he was makes people mean, I say! On Sundays the people are all riled up between 1 and 4..after four they have had some wine or pot so it is better...
When you work in retail like this, there is a line as a worker that you cannot cross and it is always about satisfying the customer. I do not see the drama most days and always say why something is not available and no I cannot order it for you, just because you saw it one of articles you  were reading on line while looking at dresses or shoes or boots, I love boots. All day with the phone calls with the weirdest requests!
"do you have ayahuasca?
"yes, let me just get that for you from peru..ass!"

Now that I have almost shed the outside world..:)
I am so glad I do not have to ever do that with any of my customers. I mean, yes, people have had small issues, the worst being when I started etsy and made shipping mistakes, my bad, or 1% of all of my orders will get lost, broken and leak. It happens  in all business.  I always fix what can be fixed. I always send extras, and show that this is something made with care and art and where real magic of brain matter sparkling with nucleic acid to make strings of lit of electric fast traveling messages through the brain triggering future thoughts building new areas of recognition of the next thing..
That there is real aromatherapy..we should call it atom a therapy!

Sunday, January 15, 2017

learning to rest

I t is hard because I am one of those people who is very much like one of those big giant logs and it is on a rope and  when you begin swinging it back and forth, it takes momentum and once that momentum is well set, it is very slow in slowing down again. Unless of course January and the season changing and how the cold forces us to rest and take reprieve away from talking and debates about daily life..
It  is normal life, you deal with it, you don't just cry all day about the fuks who torment themselves and then try to lie their way out of their own lies.
Do not control outcomes and learn to love yourself.
It is the only way I have learned to survive in the out there world.
Believe me, I work with the public and when you are dealing with the high turn over of a retail store, it means many people cross your path and some of them will suck!
they are not raised right. :)
There is one girl I hear about goes through a fifth of vodka every night..she will die or is everyone around her I care about. The stress she causes to all the others who have to live with her and watch the sickness take over.

Or the lady who had cancer who only used prayer and any cheap vitamin to cure herself..I told her, it was not enough to pray and she did not want to talk to me any more. She died, yo!
I am not saying she did the worst thing. She id not want the hospital scene and chemo and all the drugs which almost if not totally kill you.
How about eating oils then, will that prevent cancer?
It might cause a reaction of some kind that you are not fully aware of. Plus the mucus membrane in your stomach can take only so much black pepper, cinnamon..and all the lemon oil you've consumed because Young Living has to make a lot of money disgracing aromatherapy in the meanwhile! I point was that in no time you have worn out your protective shield and then created a more acidic environment!
People are surprised when I say things. It does not always come from my intentions but somewhere deep in my mind buried there until it just had to come out like a light wave takes thousands of years to travel from the core of the sun to burst out of that fire ball and travel to us..
resting is nice, but not today..
work and thinking
maybe a nice song

Friday, January 13, 2017

everybody is talking about what is new

I am not ready and I do not want to rush but I have outlined some new ideas about sprays to come...

I am very fond of that mandarin oil at ananda apothecary (my tonie found that) and today I received a new sample from sunrose aromatics..(always a treat)
that neroli she has is something at sunrose..expensive and  worthy of you! I would always invest in a secret oil for myself now and then. Like white lotus and his Hawaiian sandalwood..nice, yo! Really nice.

Anyhow one can see where I am headed.. I think we need a frankincense neroli spray with mandarin or grapefruit or a little bergamot or everything in between..I love citrus in February.

The other thing is a patchouli with sage and cedarwood and then I think lime or some wonderful note on top!

Patchouli  and Maychang with its verbena notes and lemony herbal goodness. I love maychang, litsea cubebaba. It is a close to verbena I could get with  out breaking the bank.
I will put some beeswax absolute in it to kind of give you a taste of summer.

They are going to be so cute and affordable at..8.88 each! The one with neroli, maybe a bit will be worth it!

If you will please note, that all the new sprays will not be the same as the others you you may have bought and treasured before.

Nothing stays the same..your own memories are changing right now. I am going to remember about my wonderful home, always somewhere I have loved. I love this house too, so much. It is cold in here all winter on those really cold mornings, it gets strangely frozen and the house can't get warm enough. We make it through with sweaters because it is safe and sound and I love it. I am thinking about a stove however, we are talking renovation galore and one never knows, it could happen. I would tile this whole place so that I could take a hot hose if I wanted to and scrub it down from top to bottom. :)
Even tile has its draw backs.
I would remember about how I loved my garden last year and how I loved each flower as it bloomed and then that makes me think of chamomile and blue tansy..mmmmm yarrow, and sweet lavender.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

a little bit rest

Inventory and and clean up and wipe down.
You do this as to invite more goodness to come in. More money
Oh, it is going to come in and do you know why? Make the way
clean the hearth
wipe down the plate to serve things on..
say things to someone who is wrong in a gentle way
don't be foolish
don't be greedy
unless it is for my soap :)
You deserve everything good
you already have everything good
you are made of every same spec of inverse as anyone else
you do not have to suffer
you deserve all the best things for you

yes, bad things happen
they will be fixed

Here is my best thing I want to live by..
wake up, say hello, think of my loved ones, you, , think of momma, dad and my boys, be so proud of my powerful daughters, my very powerful work mates..I am enriched with high thinking if not quirky lovers and friends. and then, work work work and work some more work to make my heart be satisfied that I did my best..

I am going to tell you something...
Why all the cancer, huh?
I have never seen the likes of a whole new slew of that stuff..
Is it the spray they put on the grass? The chemical fertilizers, the constant seeking for doctors to cure and take more radioactive pictures of perfect normal body parts?
I think so.
my doctor,
"have you had a mammogram?"
"no, I am fine!"
He smiles.."can I have a drop of your blood?"

There are other criteria to getting sick, you notice things, your stress factors when aging, your family, your unsatisfied tolerance of bad lovers, stressful job, friends who just need you to save them..
This is the time you should back down and spend some time alone, do your own thing and study hard as to be always able to stand on your own two feet and by the way, they do not always have to be spread apart in the
 You do not just go take radioactive ex rays for no reason but to search for bad things..again, know your body. It could be such a thing as your immune system is gearing need less things as you age.

There are other criteria to getting sick besides poisons in the contaminated earth. I do notice though that the stress of being beautiful gets to some.
Aging gracefully is what I want..fuk off with your fat lips and heels like a whore..they mean nothing to me.
why all the heart burn?
I told one lady that sometimes stomach issues are about how you digest your life and your family who by the way and I am talking  the old parents, like in the 70' 80's..they will never accept your ideas..they do not want to. It has been ingrained in them for generations that it would be an affront to their god..
such utter ignorance..
you must follow your heart. Be kind and say things and each word may pass on some and then one time and then two,  a word gets in and they see your point. that is honor..kind gentle poking..dancing, singing, saying what is on your mind. It is the best!!!
People are happy when they have food, nice clothes and water, music, a nice bed, dancing with a child.
Why do you think the young Iranians are waiting for those old war mongering farts to die? They want music too and to dance. Sadly they were just shipped a shit load of uranium, why do they need that so now they can blow up that whole fucking continent in the name of their war mongering god who is always pissed? They have done  nothing but destroyed towns and cities and then among their ashes they build a hotel..Who is going to go? Yea, right! No one! Because, you could be sipping a nice tea on the veranda and all of a sudden a bunch of men in a truck, with guns, they drive by yelling about the god and in his name. I watched it on something with Anthony Berdaine when he made that lamb dish and one really ate. they could have been blown up and dead which is most likely why they were not that hungry..I would eat his lamb!
ha ha

There is a lady who is so so soo blessed. She comes in the store and she is so so blessed and she closes her eyes and says how lucky she is because she uses high ph water only on her face which she refers to as "acid water" lol. She always wears a hat even when it is raining to avoid any of the sun's rays.
She will say it like 5 times in a sentence and each time I cringe a little.
"acid woatah"
ha ha ha
she always tells me how blessed she is. she is dainty like a southern bell and was once pretty very very pretty and she is 70 ish..yes she is blessed..she gets to eat kale and her organic bone broth and she gets to use acid water on her face (cringing) and she has no clue about El Salvador and how they are so hungry and live in tiny hovels and they are not us..not as blessed I suppose. they can start a fire in a rain storm though.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen to those people in a zombie apocalypse..they would be the first food for the zombies! When all you are worried about is measuring your food intake so you can be perfectly thin and perfectly ageless, and have experienced nothing more than maybe an ocean cruise..yea, zombie food.

Wake up, say hello, good morning, have a good day and work work work..

Now I am hungry!

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

what I like

I like clean white sheets and talks about philosophy not politics..
"mom you turn every discussion in to a bible reference!"
"that is because we've all been indoctrinated in such ways that have been ingrained in us since man could write and look what he told us!"
"kill anyone, anything that is not your god, and kill a witch in your home who
uses tonics and herbs to heal."
I mean really!
How do you expect me not to react!?

First off, chanting and secret words are powerful and you know that. So why are you so upset when a woman does it? Oh, you have to be the one to choose the words, don't you?
Second, if you are sick and I mean really really sick, do you go to church and pray for god, or try medicines, homeopathy, herbs, tonics, vinegar, pot..
Now there is something right there..with the drugs which you know, they will give you a known toxin that slowly kills you but pot, no no no..they freak out and put people in jail.
Why do they care so much about it?
Who are these "they"?
They are the people who are following god's laws interpreted in their own understandings and they carry on and lead your communities. In the 1910 to 1930's 40's..they taught creationism in schools as a lesson..this is not accurate and just ridiculous posturing for their gods but it effected how we do things here in the usa..circumcision for example is common in most hospitals today in order to mutilate your sons, our sons for god, for the state, for the community in case they see skin.."eewwweooo" they will say..humn..all for the lie that the genitals are not clean otherwise!
After all that, we die.
No matter what. What if your best loved one was hated by god because he sent him to his once bestie satan, to be tortured. You are in heaven and how can you be happy knowing your loved one is suffering. I do not see it.

 God and satan, they made a deal and becuase god, he did not could not kill him because he loves him still, why? Well, he loves him.
He can not stop even though he hates him, and blames and allows him  hurt the things he loves ( us??) over and over until he can Finally maybe sometime in this vast universe, say he is faking it. He has no real powers? Where is he, even Jesus said when he comes back to get even the stars will fall from the sky. He had no idea how stars work, we now do. Our star the sun is a star and it will expand and fry us back in to oblivion. Back to our simplest state.
There is one passage in the old testament where he (god) actually says he is satan and everything, everything, thou art everything and if my heart is pure and I beg enough, you will secretly come to me because you are shy aren't you? After all these years, after all the changes, after the mass extinctions and volcanoes blowing up and making  rocks and mountains and food for creatures that have long gone, you show up in the worst place on earth to punish because now you are pissed!
"Kill anyone who worships other gods because I am a jealous god"

Okay okay..I am just saying :)
and one more ting..

a wonderful man named Kurt hugs me and says happy new year and all that and then he went on a jesus little moment..he likes to be a missionary and it is actually his job.
He told me about how "jesus could have jumped off that cross and got even right then and there but no, he made the ultimate sacrifice by suffering the worst suffering one could at that time in history to prove his love for us and save us.."
Saved us huh?
I like him  so much and remember thinking those very same thoughts not 20 years ago. I do not anymore because I have learned about manipulation and deceit the hard way.
Look, when it goes from, "kill your son to prove you love me" to "look, how I killed my son to prove I love you!", yea, I say things.
Not to Kurt, not too much, he freaks out. He is so full of "god's love"!

How do you feel bout that? Am I a disrespectful, feminist bitch, nigger lover, fuking witch, old whore? (yes, I have heard all of those things yelled at me)
What kind of insults can you think of next to insult and torture someone you say you love no matter what..seems like the one you love no matter what runs the worst place in your universe and you gave him more power than your self to taunt and torture your things?
Can anyone please make up a new story where we can all be a part of  this rock we are on and where we work to make it pretty? I love flowers and old trees and seeds and bees and health the right way, the real way not garcinia cambogia and CLA..they do not work and your money should better spent.
You want the instant miracle that creationism proposes don't you now?
Nothing is instant..not one thing..the big bang is still right now happening..all true!

Time to clean the shop and my work space so that I can make room for all the oils of 2017.
More sprays?
More oils?
More fun fun yummy soap fat that are smelly?
Oh, yea..

build on
love everything

Saturday, January 7, 2017

good morning on this cold cold day

It is frozen and cold here in southern Michigan.
I am having a wonderful pressed coffee and having a little sit down to write a little bit about stuff and thangs..
Still in a deep muck of mercury retrograde? It is okay, so everything  is crazy, it is always crazy!

I am feeling a bit weird because people..
You know I work retail, anyone can become a stalker.
They almost do until they find out, I am crazier than any thing they can think of and they will not shock me..
sure I was shocked when I saw pictures of a girls room with burns on her clothes from the crack she was smoking.
""hey have you seen Linda, she looks great, she is so thin now."
I never answered anything back to that because , who cares? And, she was really pretty as a chunky girl, not some shriveled up fake lipped whore who went to crack for the rest of her needs..
I was shocked but not surprised at all that she caved her self like that..
Bad things, bad people can be doing things for a long time till we find out. And so what when we do find out? The shock, the wave of pain that kind of flashes inside of us when it is actually a family member doing the damage to him or her self??
It happens.

Mercury retrograde stirs things up for sure..
Things will clear up in no time so don't go freaking out and take control of your tasks as if they are your friends, lovers and always always going your way..I think that is why we make stuff, that is why I do.
Do something which brings goodness, happiness and real life changes each day and for sure change as you need to.

My mom, speaking about my daughters boyfriend..
"you shouldn't let that boy spend the night there so much, it is not moral (she said it in greek)."
"Then Kani" it means it is not to be done, disproved and improper..when they say, "rezeeli" it means really shameful! She did not say Rezeeli and has not said it for a very long time.

I am an amazing woman and mother, she wolf, bear claw, warrior...

Me :)
"I want my daughter to be happy"

Remember when we could not even live together because the boy had to be Greek and we had to be married and we had to build a life and we had to show up in church and we had to dance the Greek dance and we had to praise the lord and never take communion on our periods?
Yea, I do...
I remember sneaking around and hanging out with the Greek girls was so boring..then one of them wanted to go drinking at bars with me. I don't drink, she had a bad time and later died from cocaine addiction and no more money for cocaine. she said I was a nerd. I am.

Slow down to think.
Be a part of your doings and don't be so bored.
Find something to clean up..
you will need your money for more important things
your addictions will catch up with you
it is good to face what needs to go
let it go
it is not important in the whole scheme of things
what you think you must have at this very moment, must wait
unless it is the simple pleasures of a nice bar of soap and a good story to invoke a feeling :)
Your loved ones that are far away that you think about so kindly and so full of respect, admiration and full on acceptance of them
To me, that is precious that we think of one another in such kind ways. This makes me happy.

We are interesting life forms so easily distracted by the shaking and rumbling of our spinning rock and the huge ass magnets that spin it/us around our helpless we are in proportion to that force and yet we can dwell on some crazy stress factors that push us to make decisions. Be they smart or not so smart..
do not think you can control everything, control the drugs, control every bite of food.
I understand..learn and study what needs to improve in your life. You are not more better or more moral because you only eat plants, that is a myth..cells are alive and have

*** on another note***
The old whore is almost ready to be poured in a mix of creamy decadent soap base..mmm
she will have blood orange, neroli and bergamot on top
rose, jasmine in the middle
and my secret stash of syrup of old dirty is like adding the mother when you make a culture..
it is like a culture..
each batch having been collected through time, and the thoughts and ideas that came to mind and the strength I had to pull
and the soothing touch I sometimes gave
to a girl or boy who was lucky enough to have my hands on them
I have a touch
you all know it is true
It does come through in everything I do

Friday, January 6, 2017

my friends and loves and those who think for themselves

Thank you for telling it like it is and if you are someone who has been here a long time like me, you are bound to have one or two funky experiences..I am so bad at funky, I am like a three year old crying because he is so tired but won't go to sleep.
One of my loves told me this,
"it is only the best when you make it for you, when you make other's recipes you are not happy"

It is true, so dang true. What am I  to do? Make the best things for me or simply follow what you might expect? Am I projecting in error, likely. Am I thinking that everyone feels as I do and expect that to be true? I do hope so:) every time, I pour that intention in a soap cream and stir as if it is the best cake in the universe..super nova sized intentions...
I do what the conditions allow me to do and make.
When it comes to soap I do, I suppose. When it comes to criteria I expect in my home for example..
For soap though, I like to think that I am always growing and developing as need be.
If I am making a soap cake, and batch after batch it is not the is all dependent on all sorts of factors. the weather during growth, the heat and rains, the soils and the effects of distillations from year to year. It all matters in the final thing. It is fat transformed and one cannot expect that to remain the same. I am using a rather dark olive oil at the moment, almost black and so the colors of the soaps will be more in the gray tones and dark greens..I like it because, it is a nice blend of actual olive oil that I also cook with. This adds to the quality and feel of my products. I hope that you know that which is why you use my products..yes? Thank you :)
I do not care to conform to trivial changes. I do care to be precise on healing ingredients. More than I have ever been because to me the effects of the final wash must be a trans formative satisfying delight. To force outcomes may bring disappointments and our lives and in our skin care. I think that me projecting and guiding is the way it is. My customers must be allowed and for sure to allow themselves to enjoy what is given and not look for minor ingredient errors..silliness..
and smart..I will be more precise on the list..and here is where must work this next year, this year.

I am a crafter, soap witch and healer. I do  know that and sometimes I get a stomach ache from knowing too much about people. You have it too? I know you do. It is called "me and you being smart"!

Going forward, I have to make more old whore soap..sigh..
I am waiting for rose and neroli and some really smooth vetiver. I have awesome labdanum and some really nice oak citrus will be blood orange and bergamot..I am so excited about it because I sold my last bar the other day and have felt the loss of having her around for that special body wash
that lingers oh so beautifully.
I will make a balm for a gorgeous  fresh gift with each purchase of old whore soap..Our life is very good babies, do not forget  how proud I am to have you in my life, you are wonderful and a high thinker and never drag me down with judgements..I am fine, you are so so fine!

I am also making a jasmine based soap.. jasmine, citrus, deep amber notes, beeswax absolute, linden blossom,,it has its place, jasmine. It is nice for us who are at times afraid of our sexuality and the deeply subtle changes that happen in our bodies..mmmm jasmine is sex in so many ways.

I need to meditate on her for a while..simmer her ideas in  to my cells and then finally pour it all in fat! My life is good for that!

Sunday, January 1, 2017

2017 and all that is now

Happy New Year!

While everyone is busy saying good bye to 2016 and claiming how bad it is was and should be done with and can't be done with..

I would like to express my complete and total gratitude for a nice year, great kids (most of em)), my mom and dad, the house, my house, the broken dryer..
I get to work at an exciting place, I get to work with with really nice people and I will say this , that is nice nice nice.:)
I am challenged in so many ways. I strive to learn and get better with each task. My prep times for soap are spot on, prep, create, clean up and dry wipe for the next day..soap making...something I can whip together or plan for years and years..
Like the calendula soap I just made. rare, one of a kind and forever the only one you will own..why? Not only is calendula expensive in this form, and not only have I put all of it in there and finally after years and years let it go in to a creamy dense batter of fat..It was glorious in the sense that one can hold on to stuff and look at it or take glory in the moment and use what is now for now..

Even soap can be is. You can tell by the kind of people that use essential oils and how they want to use them. For health and holistic lifestyles or for another thing some one sold to you in their living room.."living" room...ha ha ha
Get a book, really study and then we can talk. Eating oils is wasting oils..stop..remember when I got so mad over rhassoul? Now it is not enough that we have salt to eat from the Himalayas, we need lamps and  chairs to sit on made of salt..ohhhh :)
Can you imagine a huge salt bath tub made of Himalayan pink salt?
How many of those could there ever be? One? The lamps though, they sell like hot cakes! By the thousands!
It is crazy how the masses are.
They want happiness and contentment. everybody does.
Don't they?

The past.....
It seems like so much hard work all this intrigue and haste and clandestine rumors on line and on line pictures of strangers..Logan's Run anyone? None of it is too real so the guilt is not as bad until some looser who lost his head in pride dives even deeper in to debauchery and attacks little girls or young boys..hence the "sex offender".
Mohamed had a wife at 9 years old and he is a saint to many on earth today . Are they sex offenders,  the masses too dumb to see the ruse set forth by their own greed and false self worth? Does it trickle down, each word and each action you take? What you withhold from people you love?
Some might find themselves to be the creeper, ready to pounce on the weakest person in their life because that is the only way they can stand to be alive or something?

I do not know..I wonder at the audacity of it all. and yet time ticks, and some of us, you and me, we  are here and we know what is real and hardy and tasty and a good. I feel like you and me, we see stuff, and want the best things not just what we want..sometimes the best things hurt us. It hurts and we cry and then we still continue the next day.

cherish each task
take your time
be greedy for joy
be content that there is  always money in your bag
money comes easily
money is easy
money  loves you
do your good with money
2017 is wealth and money handling

2017 equals 1..begin by always prepping to begin