Sunday, November 29, 2015

December come to us

This next few weeks of flurry and heavenly friendship will be brought to you by an undeniable shiny spectacular idea  that we are one.
Heavenly divine creation,   out there in space and in my mind as I conjure all that is good and wise,
our cosmic life and I are one
we are one
thou art the ocean we are the wave and all that but with a new modern twist of understanding of what we are, how old we are and why we are.
I do not know the why?? And the mysterious ways? Well, some remain hidden and that is okay. we will continue on and do our very best;
love all people
wealth to all
good will to all
adore all art
respect food and what it does for us
gratefulness and always poised for the wonderment of us.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Hello Black Saturday

Black because I am wearing black not because it is black with greed, selfishness and exclusivity.
Not that stuff.

Did I ever tell you about when I was a little girl, how I dreamed I would fly my own plane like in the Jetsons! OMG, I loved that show! Still we are far from Jane where even in the future she is only concerned with money what she buys and how much..I love how men think we are so stupid and must always keep our activities secret because "what if George" finds out? LOL

I am all for telling it all and you can't judge me..fuck sticks..
talking about how , 'oh feminists this and feminists that or you people or you!

How about equal pay and treatment  for everyone even if you are not pretty or have an ass?
I know that the inside is what counts and that is only saying. The outside counts most and how people see you is how you make yourself and how you want to be.
The value in meditation and yoga is that you love yourself so much you are willing to be accountable.

I stopped..I did..but the other day, I said something on a thread about something, probably religion (because it sucks), and some chick or dude got on me and called the names first and then said I am an immigrant and some other, "you people", He you peopled me!

I have been here for almost 50 years ass licker and, and my great grandfather came in 1910 and worked his ass off in Wyandotte, Michigan to make a way for us, who the fak are you? You might have been some other European or something?
I did not say any thing. Why? They are the ones who breed children who breed more children. It is our job to make sure we open our minds for them. Their kids who will not want to follow blindly in to oblivion. They will want more than what their parents offer.
Every must learn and continue to explore knowledge. That is the rule.
In a zombie apocalypse,
everyone must learn to use a our world, books and always scepticism..questions..results..measuring the results..learning..

I want people around  who are the kind of humans that love everything so much they would never  blow anything up or kill a child.  ( right now at his moment in my kitchen there are two girls practicing swing dancing)) I am delighted with this!))
They would all sound like smaller version of Donald Trump yelling and acting like they know all the best way to handle Earth.
Earth, you putas.
You religion makes you think you are better loved more fucking sacred with the caps and adornments, means nothing to me.
I have seen what is behind those robes and it is a human being lying to himself that he is saved and he is forgiven and he will be fine after this and after that and that he is better than you.
As Bruno said it 500 years before, "your gods are too small"..yea well, they burned him alive the fuks. They had crosses on so do not think it is just Islam.

"anastasia, you are so different now, you used to talk about kria and spirituality.."
"I am. I have tried all the religions save for Islam and now I say again, no thank you and fuk off with your hate and pissed off and more american than me words!
I will eat your face if you get too close you beer bellied hate filled pinis lickers..
ha ha ha, love, love..

(dude poor Gwen Stefani, her man is the perfect cliche'. The baby sitter)
When I was a baby sitter in West Parkway, 13 years old, the boyfriend came back home alone to show me his penis..I will never forget it.
During pictures one time at church, father sam, grabbed my ass..LOL
"I was thinking, "yea, I know, it is fine and my ass"..LOL

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

sweet november

I am pondering on a Black Friday Special Deal.

vanilla shea cacao butter


The Soap is made of wonderful organic olive oil and rich coconut oil. The scent is Bergamot and Green Tea. You can choose from all the soap in stock save for the old whore and the time lord..I will do that if someone does not like bergamot. I myself have been craving sage and clary like my sweet blacker than black friend loves! I am making that soap soooon..but not soon enough for Backer Than Black Friday..ha ha hahaaaaaa

Friday One Day Deal~
The Scrub is aloe based with organic aloe inner fillet and myrrh. You can use it on face and body.

The Toner is witch hazel with myrrh and frankincense..shake well and apply. It is beautiful anytime of day or night.
You will also get a vanilla shea cacao butter cream as a free gift with purchase. (one ounce in glass)

How does that sound to you?
Would you prefer an oily balm instead?
I thought of that.  I wonder how vanilla would play with beeswax.That is why,
it should be cream and super drenched with rose hip oil and avocado and even a little tomato seed and evening primrose..
oh yes, we have all that....

Any thoughts?

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Winter Came

It came! The snow!

That was just the beginning!

Time to behold your inner self and stay warm and greet friends as if you are just so glad that they have been there for you and also scolded you when you are sometimes a dummy :)

I'm no dummy but I've had s few dim days  I can tell you.

I have been busy making things!

Verbena Patchouli with mountain sage from Greece.

Oh yea!!
That there inside is a creamy old whore batch made with soft delectable oils and rich with patchouli.
Top note is verbena, lemon, grapefruit 
Base notes include patchouli, labdanum,oakmoss and honey notes.

Friday, November 20, 2015

yesterday is what I came with

So now what do you want from me?
I say this to myself every morning.
It is good to at least have a picture of what you will do next, right?
You then look at what your brain has stored from yesterday, last year and when you were a kid.
Some of your memories make you cringe a little, mine do.:)

I am come to thinking that emotions can ruin you! I realize that what you want is not what you always get but I see people who are disappointed all the time and crying. They are usually younger.:) We ladies of the older gen, do not cry as easily anymore.

I wanted to tell you about how I feel about the thing in Paris, my loves. I wanted to right away but it was something I needed to think on and not react to but stop and realize that the refugees are trying to leave those fuks. Who doesn't want a warm bed and soft sheets at night sleeping well with a full belly? That is why they left and I will bet they are leaving a big part of their religion behind...most of them. I am sure some fuks snuk through..there is enough evil to go around for ignorant savages like that guy in Florida who shot his twins and then himself..if you look at averages you will note that when in large groups of humans, a small percentage will be horrid and evil. It is not just Islam which trolls with hatred. Look at Northern Ireland, with Christian on Christian. Islam against Islam and two sides to their thing right? Like you have one more rigid form and the other more relaxed and westernised, softer..and even in my small meditation self realization group that Yogananda started, as soon as he died they all broke, I heard there were orgies in some of the meditation tents..ha ha haaaa, humans!! ( it was right before I joined. LOL)
I loved my time with him and his writings, Yogananda, He tried to show that by using your mind to strengthen you body by doing repetitive exercises and breathing techniques.
It was hard and I do not need it anymore. I needed some sort of "way" lessons in feeling better "way".
I would never to this day, actually say  that Shiva lives in the Himalayas or that Saints can help us from the beyond. Our mind can help us now,  when we reach out to what we stand for.  It is nice to feel nice and happy, yea?

Which poses the question..ah, I love this one!

Is some thing moral because God made it so, or is it moral for another reason?

If you say God made it so then you will note in the bible that god has killed many babies, allowed rape and father daughter sex (Lot) I say, it is something else.
Us, of course. WE say what is moral and, it is not moral to behave this way, killing and blowing up people who are having a good evening! No more of this on earth!
The way we fight that is by by continuing to become smarter and smarter and pushing towards love for all, and equality for all..all lives on earth should prosper with healthy ways that we all create now, from this day forward and all that.
Religion separates people and makes people  servants of higher Gods with  powers..
A physicist I know, said, a whole lot of things but one thing stuck in my mind about what he said, he said, "humanity has bowed enough"
Something like that! Like fear and reverence becomes sort of a weird and useless when you can only blame yourself.  You have to face what you have become and what you carried from yesterday.

 Free speech is essential to freedom.
Of course ask and say what you think and everyone has a duty to  listen and not react.

Not 80% freedom of speech, but 100% freedom to say and question..and for the fuks who think free speech is throwing insults and yelling, it isn't. I really think that Donald Trump is popular. People think those things he says. They love to hear him say  them and then it is okay for them to say insulting things too.

Smart people say words that are wonderful and interesting and explain easily with evidence on what you thought was meta physical and mystical.
I am talking about the best things which make us great as a species and how we are already the smartest thing on this planet.
By the way, for you creationists who may read my blog, we did not come from apes, we have a common ancestor and we split to be ourselves..oye!
Stop sounding dumb and yes, indeed,   all the links are connected so, do not say the missing information and all that..Turkana, boy! DNA takes us way back, my friends.

I love my life!
I love you!

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Gritty City Soap Dishes Holiday Ideas to get our juices flowing...

I love this name for Detroit!
Gritty City

Detroit is making a come back. People are moving in and rebuilding what is really a dangerous looking wasteland if all you do is look at pictures of the decay on line. It is changing and fast.
There are awesome cooks having set up  gourmet restaurants under frikin bridges and there are artists galore! Whole Foods is down there now and they are rocking it! Detroit artists sometimes visit us out in West Bloomfield.
They keep coming in my store and asking me to come down and open a shop down in Detroit.
 I should, if I could get my ass out there, which I won't, yet. I still want to work a little longer at my store. There is still so much to learn!
This is modern times! I can go and be a part of Detroit through the interweb :) and interconnect with artists who are edgy and full of beautiful vigor for new and expressive art forms. Plus I do like it when people come to me so I do not have to drive. I love not driving.
"come to me.."

Soapmaking and clay just go together, don't they?

Shanta, the artist, says, "these are wood fired and the colors do what they do with heat and smoke".


I loves them!
They mean something because the energy went right through her hands interesting as I notice her style is that she curls her hands just so when she speaks as well as when she creates. Look at the ones of the palm with the eye.
They are all amazing and it will be hard to not keep them all. I love one so much though, I took it for meself! 

Gritty City Special
Gritty Citadel Soap Dish
One very nice bar of, Old Whore Soap
One 50ml Old Whore Balm
One rich Old Whore Votive Candle


I will take better pictures of the whole special when I cut the new batch of ow soap.
I want to take my time and not plan things too rigidly..
what do you think so far?
Good and gooder, right?

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

good morning november morn

It has been a whole lot of crazy this last few weeks with school starting and each year a new transition.
I think I have thrown away more food because my family is so busy they never come home to eat!
So, no more big meals for a while.
My shopping list is easy,
Plenty of fresh tomatoes, good lettuce, organic eggs and half and half for tea and coffee.
Bread of course.
Butter too..olive oil..coconut for making potatoes...
I will not be making big pots of anything until thanksgiving where we will have a wonderful meal together, free style, and everyone goes home after that. :)

This whole next few days, I will be making soap.

The specials are almost ready. I will have them for the weekend of thanksgiving. Shanta is bringing over the soap dishes on Wednesday and I will put together what I put together then.
It will be so pretty and edgy as I have said before.
Shanta is edgy, I like edgy a little bit..gritty, a little dirty.

I had very big plans for holidays  which I knew I would reduce the numbers to something more practical.
I made dragons blood soap which was a big grand thoughtful mess and I  ruined most of it. I managed to save a few bars and I do not know why or what, but something changed in that soap. I burned it in the fire I made this week. An offering and spell which I conjured ideas to fulfill my life and home...

You see, I kept adding so much myrrh and frankincense,, dragon's blood brew, oud, that the whole thing exploded and all I could smell was oud..
No longer!
All the hidden secrets of this blend finally came out and I am willing to share a bar or two. Not for sale..maybe it will be a part of my special holiday offering.

Soapmaking this week,
more old whore
verbena patchouli
cinnamon bark sweet orange
cedarwood vetiver,
I am also working on a tuberose something, we will see.

What scent would you  love in soap?
Sage with clary and lavender maillette? (actually sage anything sounds wonderful)
Rose ylang ylang and lavender with sandalwood? (how nice that would be!!20 dollar soap?)
myrrh with black salt and clay?

Today is here
no need to fear
always look in your heart
find what motivates your happiness
your success
and your true gifts
now make them good
use fine words that love
that nourish with creative forces

stop being so mad all day because your gods are too small
do a great job and do not worry
heaven is unknown  and so is anything beyond this
one great moment in time that you are you in this form

Do you waste this time crying?
Yelling, killing  others who refuse to worship your gods?
Hurting innocents because you are in rage form?
You will be banished when you do this..every time it will be your last chance to make things right

you expect too much from people
I know you do
but not everyone is raised like you
they hurt in different ways
you hurt too
leave the hurt behind you and do the right  thing now
right now

Monday, November 16, 2015

five reasons why Glen is not dead

I love The Walking Dead!
 Robert Kirkman's  genius work about a modern day apocalypse..zombie apocalypse, of course. We get amazing zombies from  long time artists like Greg Nicotero..dude! I can't help but love the show. Rick, the main man..Michonne and her sword! I really felt that her and Rick were really close for a minute!  They connected, I saw the way it was. I am even beginning to like Sasha! Morgan?
For me, I want Morgan to fit in but not if he is going to cause more harm by his way of life. He should just go to the coast on his own or maybe their whole  town will get destroyed and they will all have to go..sorry!

Glen is not dead.

Yes, there were ways he could have got them up high from the trash bin , they could have walked the fence and jumped to the roof..but no, this happened..Nicolas kills himself and falls on top of Glen..right? The zombies moved in and started eating, Glen was crying and then it all went to where there was nothing but zombies.

So, Glen is still freaking out reeling and such that the eaters were eating Nicolas instead of him and, in those few seconds pulled out his knife or he may have already had it in his hand, he had his knife so I say he killed enough of them to mask himself from the rest..kind of like a tent. and  then either he waited for a clear or he slowly crawled under the trash thing and waited, having masked his scent like him and Rick did in Atlanta the first or second, episode.

So now everyone is so impatient and wants faster answers and results and all the things to happen at  once!
A story must unfold itself like a good warm woman, my friends, and the excitement in Walking Dead is sort of like that.
The story is being told at many angles and we have to know about each one and how it fits with the rest of the whole picture. Kind of like life, really!
I mean, our lives now, not during mythical end of the world synopsis.
Let us all agree that when the sun goes all red giant, (billions of years from now)our kind will become dust again in the wind. The solar wind..

Glen is not dead. because there has to be drama with Maggie to keep her character interesting, right? They will meet only to be ripped apart and she will harden up and kick ass. Or Maggie will die instead of Glen and he will turn to the dark side to try to bring things together for agape love!
Negan is coming and it is a really bad ass guy..I am so happy right now. Dean and Sam's dad, yo!
If you are sort of up to date on what is up in the comics which I am not, but I do read everything..Glen gets killed by a bad bat and every one is all like , "oh, we can't miss that sort of kill!"
" If he is going to die, he should die in this way!"
What preasure on the writers! Leave it alone. It is just a show. There will be a bat with wrapped with barbed wire! I feel like it could easily be Glen smashed in the head by a bat..but like, no, they will mix everything up so expect nothing like you thought!
It could not be so lame to kill a good character like Glen in the way it appears.then again, he was not acting himself that day!
Remember when he had to ask Nicholas to take them to a safe places in that town? Like all of a sudden Glen needed  directions to safety? Really? And why didn't they just light any house on fire? Light the pet shop and then get out and run! And how much time did they spend staring at people being eaten and screaming? I am like, "shoot them!"
Why did Glen take so much trust and give it to a coward?
He was thinking too highly of himself to think he can change a man or woman with  his love!
We learn that in life. Love is so this case agapi love.
Complicated enough to save Glen? Complicated enough to make him think about running off with a dumb ass at the worst possible time?OMG, Glen!
I really hope he isn't dead because I am thinking he will have gotten out and rescued by some one. I thought they spent  a little too much camera time to scan a whole green wall.
Was that five?

Anyone have thoughts?

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Last year already?

Not yet..but, I review everything. It is soon to be winter..darkness and cold nights...
Here  in Michigan that is...and, and Saturn has gone and moved along in space, to make a nice little groove  and shook things up a little. I always "feel" these things and so here I am saying things about Saturn and how I am affected by these events. Adrenals. That is humans action chemicals just doing their thing..Saturn is huge in our neighborhood..of course when he moves we feel it! I believe we each, here on earth, are a part of every other thing in our surrounding space and time..

I haven't been able to sleep. Everyone's life posts are getting to me.
I know I was young once like that, but was I so sex driven that I would do  such bad things to my lovers?
Yes, I had a couple of them and I am no saint and as my favorite and worst husband used to say, not a lady! Hence the old whore..dude, you don't like me, fuk off! That is me, now..See, we can change!
I am a Libran and we can be downright crude. Always lady like but crude nonetheless. My Northern Greek, upbringing is not always gentle.

Me me me

Really it should be you!

Like having to back track a little to review where you put things? Your phone, your keys..stay fit, yo, you need to focus.
Also, do not be mean.
It is hard..yes..but do not be dramatic and say bad things to scare people and make them feel about about you. If you are gonna kill yourself, which I  guess, some do, think about it,  for a brief moment.. "like wtf? I hate this", kinds of things..but you never talk about it..that is the cowardly part..too much talking and not enough doing to make things good..the things you actually find precious. Now, compare that to what you are seeking at this moment. What do you work hard at?
A brief moment in time, a yea or two or five or ten, in human terms, they are nothing to what you actually  are. You are, why, you are just so much that it is really indescribable..your cells remembering everything you have been and before that what you were.expanding, contracting..Saturn pulls in and together the focus one needs to be a great human..
Saturn teaches us things in mythology and he is stern because he is always learning and breaking it down. making mistakes along the way and breaking it down some more.
Saturn is teaching us now to reviere moments in time and it is about learning to be alone, learning to be happy and living to what you believe..not hiding behind a mask of some dumb kind where your hair has to be right and your nose has to be powdered..I do like a powdered nose!

Everything is fine..we are here together and that makes you already mine..:))

Saturday, November 7, 2015

my poem about Morgan and "walking dead" zombie thoughts

Morgan oh, Morgan
how silly men(you)are
to think that all the killing you have done
can now make up
mend shattered lives
tend to life
Can you now,
act like a master
when you are really just out of that door
where you had killed and did it coldly as a hobby for your satisfaction..
you did it...
it happened..

Morgan oh ,Morgan
please get it together and say sorry to Rick
you almost got him killed and now look at this!
There are hundreds of them coming, Morgan!
You could have really been there, at least you held one and locked the door.
It is a chincy room where someone could easily get is a start, maybe!
Like when Michonne put her sword back on..yea!
once again
you replaced one thing, Morgan..
with another to mask your broken heart
and pretending to love all things

oatmeal burgers suck..

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Things are well under way

The holidays are up on us in no time.
I am getting ready as well. Both at my job and here in my little shop of witchy creations.
There is time to contract a little and time to expand.
I am in the next three years or so, going to age and age to perfection in soap making and essential oil art.
It is inevitable.
Why do I say it? Because when you put in the time, you get better.
It is the law of humans. The law of practicing and doing and thinking things through.

I have introduced many specials last month on my etsy site,.eleneetha aromatics.
Now it is contract a little and get a nice holiday special that does not cost an arm and a leg. It will happen and I will make it good.

How about, the new soap dishes coming? I am having little pinch pots made for soap..they will drain easily and be super cute and edgy as I have a new artist friend on board..Shanta! (shanta amady ) I am excited..they are almost ready.

A candle too. There should be a candle. I want it in glass though..and that leads to shipping issues and breakage..(I haven't had too many breaks but I have a couple of times in 6 years, shipped to the wrong person..ha ha, lol

Yea..too many zombies in my brain!
Let's sing!

Yesterday was good..
Better day beautiful and rare
you said some words and said them with flair
you reached on high and thought it best
to always love others and laugh as you jest
digging deeply from your knowledge
you've paved the way for more
I guess that is why they say, you are, an old whore!


Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Glen is not dead, Rick is cut bad "Walking Dead" Ideas on thank you and others notes

Thank you was such a good episode that it took me this long to even say anything about it. They are in a bind big time, The zombie herd is near, many have died again and Rick's hand is cut pretty badly.
No, glen is not dead.
Think about it..would Glen die in such a stupid way? No! Nicolas would!
There are many things that will and can happen.. I mean once he's pilled under a bunch of dead ones, his scent is masked. He will crawl under the trash bin and be saved by Jesus..the new guy we are supposed to be introduce to. maybe he is behind one of those locked doors.
It looks like Jessie is going to be the only one left for this season because her kids are not in the future episodes. We will see. I do not really like the way she had to correct Rick about her kid. Sorry but he did wrong and was dangerous and  stupid.
Jessie, sounds nice for him but he has bigger things to work through and it is not his popularity with people like Morgan and his guru who is dead and hasn't been all stellar himself..
I mean many people have you killed and why?
oh, he just starved some bad guy for 47 days and  killed him sadistically..and yet he seems to be a new star about to give Rick some life lessons?
I do not think so, and if the goat knew better, she would have run away a long time ago.
Yea, let us talk about Aikido and the way of peace while we are in a safe and serine place away from the governor and away from all sounds so nice and helped crazy boy (Morgan) get out of his killer ways..but now he is just plain stuck..reality and peace is not a concept, reality it is brutal, deadly and kills kills kills..
Thank goodness we have Rick, he does not dick around. He is done with all this"oh, all life is precious"..sure it is, if you are in a lovely war free zone, all life is precious then..when bad guys come to get your boy and rape him a stick is not enough, you have to become some thing else like Rick did when he ripped that guy's throat who was going to kill him and allow the others to hurt his boy!
Rick has been there and has see and done crazy things. Is he less moral than Morgan's guru guy?
Truth be told, I say more noble and more clear headed about what needs done right now! is not for philosophy. It is for action..In the end, the guru got bit in a most stupid way, like Tyrese..
Glen is smarter than that to say the least!
He will make it..if not, we will just adjust to our sorrow!

I am mixing my reviews because I feel like they all go together. If you watch the walking dead, you will understand any is not a is an there and snap, erik kain!

I know Rick's hand will be okay because he cut it on the machete and it is pretty injured but it will not get cut off, there is a new doctor in the house.
We will see Glen in two episodes, and Rick, we will see him next week. I only wish they would have given him a 90 minute episode..I love him! Morgan, I mean, redemption and new belief system does not a master are so too a killer, Morgan and you must face it but good.

and what a good wonderful fall time it is and I hope you are good...

I have been feeling that I should say, "hello" and come out of my cave to say it.
I realize that I hide every few years so and get immersed in a thing and went too far gone on every one. :) too far gone in oils not drugs or something like that.
 I have gone too far and totally ruined a soap batch. It happened, I forgot something important and all I can do now it liquify and add some dark whiskey and see if it gels and goes all amber gold on me. I wish it to be that way.
I can only try or know, some things are bad and a waste of money and life, and you can try to save them and keep them or toss the whole funky mess and say, "good bye".
I wonder about things, aromatic things and how we relate to life.. and I  wish to chat them up with you..I feel I am just beginning  on my wonderful journey of recipes with myrrh is just so very good!

Yesterday..I am working and it is late and I was tired with my belly hurting a little because I ate a bunch of apple cider donuts..ha h ha ha ha and all I wanted was my walking dead fix and a nice tea..but there was time before that!

la la la la
me and Rick in the woods, him alert and me words needed..surviving and being free at the same near by knowing what is up and understanding life now.......we have tree houses and bridges..and I still make soap.

my dream mode was squashed by my next reality work,,,
"do you have meeere gum powder?"
me, "no we don't sell  myrrh that way , I do have essential oil of myrrh which is quite nice.."

**I have to say, it is hard to find good oils off of the shelf, but Aura Casia does have a nice myrrh and frankincense..the sweet orange, not so much..that is why you smell a few distillers and see the differences, yea?

lady, "no, not myrrh, meeere gum powder, is that oil made form that?

Google even has pictures but people don't care to read about beautiful oils ,,I mean, what do they do on their phones all day?
I did explain the whole myrrh thing and how it is called a gum and a resin..she could not connect them..she got pissed and said I corrected her..I laughed and she came back to haunt me some more, this time a whole lot nicer to me..
Also, now that I am on that theme,  there are not three categories of essential oils! There are fine oils depending on the season's results and finer when some growers and distillers get lucky..Why all this nonsense.."do you have the kind you eat?"
Seriously? I heard a co-worker say, "no we do not have that kind."
OMG..stop, we have organic and we have are the one you can eat now?
I guess so, because if it was a lemon peel which as distilled, then if follows that it was a food..was a food, essential oil now, you can eat a drop if you need to. People take frankincense orally for pain and anxiety.
And it is isn't that I resent you eating it, it is that you don't even know why. Some Young Living or Doterra person brainwashed you in to thinking that you are exclusive now!
I guess that would be the thing, I have no patience for. Me? Bossy?
I have eaten plenty of oils through the years,  I reckon. I drank  hydrosols when I was studying them..I got wasted on one of them, I forget which. I think it was orange floral water. I get a few drops of frankincense on my hand when I work with it. Yesterday, it was patchouli.

That was one thing about my ex husband and I then..we raked in money and I spent, freely,  as much as I wanted and was not myself free. I gave myself reasons like an apologist, of why I was giving my independence away to become and feel  like I wasn't good looking. Giving away that power, (your inner good looking power), that makes your mate, if he has any sort of superior feelings already, well..humans take advantage and they are cruel to each other as they cross over to the "I am a god and too good looking" phase some go through!
 Some more than others..but an abuser knows what makes you work to his or her benefit..
When you are looking as if you are not good looking, people see you that way.
It adds up, the constant sadness and shallow stupidity our kind seem to get stuck in.
Course, as we  go in our cycles, we change we grow and live without the one we though we would never live with out. And we change our minds about ideas  which we thought would never even cross our minds..
I hope so.

Now where was I?