Saturday, December 31, 2016

happiness on dec 31

The real last day is now and tomorrow and the next day.
I am like Rick from The Walking Dead when I  say, "we are the walking dead."
Yesterday this man came in. Sweet face and had a concern about the temperatures of vitamins or something I thought was time wasting of brain, but hey, okay..
I told him extreme temps are bad for vitamins but not if you just leave them in the car over night. Yes, keep probiotics in the cooler but your multi can handle the counter top or cabinet. How do you think they get to the store on a truck through the USA and to me and the I finally line them up just right  for you on a shelf.
I told him dampness and heat were his culprits and not to worry too much about it.
"oh, thanks" He looked at my eyes like he was trying to to see what I was about..they all do that.
"aren't you concerned about dying?", he asked me.
I took a moment and told him, "I am not overly concerned. It is going to IS going to happen no matter what, I just want to be happy and do my best right now. ( much work to be done on that little plan of mine)"
He stayed a while and shared some more things of his life to me. He was not a secret shopper asking some droll question and I think I could sense his need to share a bit of himself. He told me his age, same as mine and he was elated..funny.
Later  in my workday the older lady came in talking about soap. "I want to try your soap...:)"
My blood pressure!
They get so greedy and do not know what they want.
In the first sentence she is like "oh, I am sensitive and oh, I am not a fan of lavender, I really want to try your soap."
Go on line, read about what you want and then we'll talk. I do not like it when it begins with, " I hate", I like it when it is, "I love everything. I love. I love everything"
I love you
I love lavender and even sickening spikenard too. Sometimes I want rosemary!
I love the way cedarwood can turn my stomach because I know it is something big that needs budging..
Go, read about the way jasmine can make you feel and how my new soap with illepe and calendula  might just bring your skin some real time healing zeal..

I will make a face nugget  for you little greedy ones..I will make it with calendula and sea buckthorn and just the right sweet touch of honey..mmmm

Have a wonderful day today, you sing me a song just like right now, say each word that pops in to your head and let people feel your joy. I do! I love you so so so much!

Friday, December 30, 2016

friday goodness

are you really going to party down just because a turn of a clock?
Make a skin care night right now!
Clean your face but good and then curl up and rest.
I will watch movies and thrive in other ways this coming year. Which movies? Maybe just lectures on math again, the same one I should watch over and over and how there are only five shapes there can ever be.
5..only five and forever five..
wow, how can any one care about a purse more than that wonderfulness?

I just read my last post..drivel and errors as usual but I think there are seeds of truth to my writing so I will continue and just write whatever I want. No one can beat me up for my thoughts anymore and that is nice. So I spew like any Libran would. Speaking of Librans. that Oscar Wild! He writes his pain so elegantly, his own pain all day though. He was clearly once attractive just like Dorian Gray..
This is not a book review though..
I really want to talk about what I am working on this morning and yesterday and the days before.
An olive oil cleanser. My girls seem to want it so we will make more than one.

How about a set then?
Like a dry mask and an oily wash and a little bit toner with apple cider vinegar?

It is really nice.
The oily rose gelee' is not as thick as you might imagine and you only need a half of a dropper to wash your whole face. There are actually two of these interesting oily cleansers and face tonics. jasmine with linden and honey for those times when you want the secret powers of jasmine which are self worth, female empowerment (by not being scared of men) and allowing wealth to come easily and often. To me that is jasmine. I can put it on my heart and speak of more profound things and I can put it on my belly to attract more carnal yet satisfying demands of my human form. :)
 In this set, there is a fabulous mask you can use wet or dry. I am sending it dry. You can mix the oily gelee' with a little dry powder to get a nice scrub effect or just add water. The gelee is so nice..on its own... allow the gentle easy glide of oils on your face. So nice! Rinse  with hot water right in the shower or hold a nice hot towel to the face.
 The toner is a wee vial of spring water, apple cider vinegar which contains a lovely blend of refreshing oils; frankincense, lavender, bergamot..just a drop..the lavender is Bulgarian.

I am a little challenged with labels this merc far this is what I am cooking up.

tonight soap..cedarwood, patchouli, lavender vetiver..mmmmmmmm 

Let us remember soap and when we run out, there is is only one place to go..mine, on line..:)

Thursday, December 29, 2016

platonic solids

So much beauty in math, right?
Is there a philosophy to mathematics and what is the benefit of understanding platonic solids and the extension to sacred geometry?
Dude, I am a soapmaker mamma! Don't expect all the truths to be commin' out my mouth..just some of them.. :)

I hope you are doing well on this fine lovely day, it is not freezing out there but the chill in the air says stay in as much as possible. I have to speak with the insurance lady about my car and fix the dryer because Mercury retrograde breaks stuff.
One thing about, brave, Merc, hot blooded merc...lying fuk merc..don't worry though, while he is kissing you, he has a twinkle in his eyes and already looking at a way out..or you are.
Are you looking a  door? Not death. leave death to the famous.
A door and a way out of a mess you are making right now. Good. It is not your mess. You get so scattered, it is not even funny. Leaving a trail of crumbs and garbage..
yes you have. It is time to stop and take a look at what you have created. What you have allowed and pushed in order to keep a person where you want them. And for what?
Now what, your lies and cheating have brought you to this point. Are you going to be a beggar then? Are you going to be a swimmer like a stealthy deep sea kind not some wee sardine anyone can gobble up. Leave that to the masses who flock now to essential oils like hungry vampires.
Next week, it will become other them which will end their mental suffering and breakdowns and their hunger for more anything to make it even better than it is.

realize this..:))
"if pennises grew on trees, we would not need men" ( I don't know who quoted it))
ha ha ha ha
Not True!!
me, "well, just because you are strong, you do not get to me mean"

Men are mean. They get to be mean and beat on us or burn us or marry us and then beat us, whether with words or actual beatings..I have had both.Greeks beat their kids in the olden days and right now somewhere there is a 12 year old girl being tortured and beaten by a man who is strong and mean..bad combo..not that women are any better in this..look at the same mother who is willing to cut off flesh from her daughters vagina  so that she never feels pleasure!

We need each other, we should love each other, we are the same and man is not better that woman.. stronger physically but not better.. so stop with the bickering and get to work,. read a book, clean your room, wipe down the tub and look in your corners for debris you just been passing by for days and days and finally now you  must, you must take that sickle and it.
Do not swipe at others just to make your self feel more important. You are not more important.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

the numbers game and mercury retrograde in capricorn

Capricorn which is ruled by Saturn
which also brings the guy with the cape and the big scythe or sickle
This represents many many things all relating to reaping what you sew
control of snakes..
also to!

Saturn Cronnos

He is not a nice guy at all. We want to love him because he kills snakes while we are trying to cut the wheat  so we can eat for the winter and our children will live through the winter where no fresh food is available for months. One can see why we created these images to soothe the inevitable. The darkness and the inner struggles we all must face. Sometimes, I am wrecked for weeks over stuff. it is my emotional nature and why I lean towards crafting and as I have plenty of Saturn aspects in my chart, it would seem that I am no stranger to pain and getting my shit together..
I am like a 12 year old child in so many ways and like a fuking guru in so many other ways.
That is all about Capricorn. The ability to really experience inside something subtle and real and painful and uncomfortable and a need  for this is so great in us that we make up images to  help deal. We are all Saturn and that is my point. Also people die, get over it..they die, you will die, I will die and the house payment will go to someone else. :0)) I am not going anywhere just yet..maybe...I think though, I will make it through this cold.

There is something which binds us. It is created by our brains and when we all think basically the same thing but in different languages, we create our gods based on how we survived another day. Saturn is not about just surviving though. There is a deeper meaning always and yes, big loss, heavy rains, and body diseases which cannot be avoided in their task being as that we can only get to them after they get to us..ever wonder about that?
This does not  mean we are helpless. Saturn teaches us to cut through the bullshit and stay on task or die. Elevate yourself so the crawlers cannot easily get to you.

The numbers game is  an interesting little addition to my rant this morning..


nines are about ending, shedding unnecessary dispositions and your thoughtless habits
tens are about starting something new after sobering realities..

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

rest reload and back to work mercury retrograde

I will take another week off from soap making and then back to work.
I have actually never taken this much time off from soap. I make soap all the time on any day depending on my energy levels.
This year I sold everything I made. mostly..every special deal is gone though.
How lovely!
I do always say. I sell everything I make. I should make more.
I make what needs made. :)

Everyone in my family received lavender oat soap as gifts. So good! They seemed to love it. People in my family are oddly conventional. It is the way most folks are so I kept it simple for them.
For us, we want complex, patchouli, fougere, beautiful fresh bergamot with frankincense because we want that. We love the refreshing feeling from a good citrus rush or a deep rose.

I will be making more turmeric neem soap though and more interesting loveliness from what ever my brain wants.

Mercury retrograde
Don't go spending too much of your cash because bills and reality  are real. It is nice to think that something good is going to happen each morning when you wake up and I do. Do not be naive to reality..bad things do happen. As Mercury got in its set up to go retrograde..
I got in an accident, and now suffer from a bug with great power..
bed rest and tea.
Mercury retrograde brings out lies and slimy stuff all day so be aware of lies and obsessive behavior. Be aware of lies and cheaters and be aware if you are one too.
Greedy much? Yes, it shows on you!
You do not have to say every thought.
You do not have to "hang" out with people just because they want to.
Plans will change.
Jealous fucking bitches will say mean things..hell, bitches say mean things and beware of their onslaughts..walk away. By bitches I mean man or woman..bitches!
ha ha ha ha

Thursday, December 22, 2016

welcome to the dark

Things are what they are right now because of what you have brought to the table.
I bring you grease and oil and fat and wax and dried plants and roots to settle your back.
a smile on your face now and then
sometimes no because you think I am talking to you
I am of course and me and them
You think I am judging and crying and yelling
I am not
I am simply presenting a new subtle more interesting plot
that is when I have my best words coming out
that is when pure delight at the thought and a little discomfort at the prospects
the expectations and continued rejections of people who are stuck
in hate
in lies
in jealousy which is hate
in rushing
in exclusive rights
in perfect little lies
a trail of stars..whoosh...

who am I but an old witch
doing my thing way before you came along and tried to claim me
climbing hills and crying for love
dying for love
chefin for love
making soap while crying many times in the early days. You were't there
you didn't see the pain and suffering I saw on others and how they live
maybe you went and stayed in a hotel where they all served you and went home to their rice and beans
I don't know about it
I only know that is is okay and we are not the same..

I am an old witch
not afraid of my truths
I am aging beautifully and I didn't say without woes..
only that I do it with grace
that is the only goal
to wake up refreshed and ready
I am ready and the lines on my face reflect something from each step of my time here.
I am content
grateful to be sure
look nice and smell great
this is me at 58

Except when a secret shopper doesn't like me which is 50/50, then I freak a big baby..what do you mean I didn't engage enough? I spent friking 10 minutes explaining to them how creams are made  because the fake question was fake and you didn't even care! putas!
What, who is this whore that  that said"I rattled off some names of products"? I do not rattle, maybe she should learn more words. Everyone knows I speak  quite clearly. Too clearly..

The way I look at it is this..Stockholm Syndrome..that is when you begin to sympathize with your captors..crazy true!
In a more subtle sense, secret shoppers are an insidious way to spy on your work force. You should be on the floor talking to them but you are too fucking busy to see what they actually do there. there are cameras, it is not enough. You would rather waste money for an added expense so that you can spy on your "team" mates..sure,sure.
If you are married think of it this way. This includes lovers and mates and all the gay and trans youngish want or think about...your lover and you just had the best sex ever, you ate apples (only apples, nothing with bread) in bed and made love like the stars shooting through your bodies, sweat rhythm eyes connected to something greater..In the morning as you have coffee and look in to each other's eyes, you say your "good days" and go..only to fully accept, that your partner sent a person just sneaking up on you to make sure you use all the right words and talk they way your lover wants and then to also make him money and never give him cause to be jealous and he will make sure..or she, or them..Isn't it a little bit like that?
"I love you, thank you, I don't trust you and never will, here is some more money."
"okay, thank you so much, I had better use all the right words"
did you like the shooting stars through the body part?

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

solstice 2016

ashes ashes bring roses next year..

I have been reviewing a lot about humans and how we linger on ideas that keep  us separate from our culture, society, and each other. If you let people to privately chant and worship, leave them alone..who cares? I guess the  dummies who would send their 7 year old daughter to be blown up for God..nice one dip shit!
All I know is that I work at a very busy place and we work together in a store and you can't bring that shit in there. Every one comes, all of us, in robes and and dots and shaved heads
with glasses on and with skirts and capes and really high heels. models and tv girls.
and with green capes is cool and babies  babies and more babies..I love the babies..Jack comes to me now..for hugs..Ah luvs them..there's one with a red coat, lucy..we all don't care about any of the differences.
It is super interesting in a way that when I read the news and of the greater violence on Earth based on religion and separation of ideas and how people actually live and work together.
Here in the Detroit area, it has always been diversity, blacks, whites, mexicans, my cousin helen married a guy and  they called him mexican..all I remember is that he was beautiful and I know some purists say things like "taking away our culture" and "the american way"..
which time. My  great grand dad came here in 1913, which culture should prevail over all of the american way ones?

Well,  I will take it further.
the smarter that you are, the less likely you want to kill other people.
In Costa Rica they call dark skinned people "neggro" as an is fine. Changing that endearment to a bad word is mean, jerkavich!
The smarter that you are, you don't demand religious foods on just never do.
And don't tell me Stalin was an atheist..he was raised orthodox christian his whole life.
Remember everything is built on something before that..that is evolution and never stops..even if you never change your mind, it does not stop..
He continued with remarks..
"look at Japan, 98% Japanese"
I don't give one thread about "They come to my store too, it is totally cool, they have money."
"I am talking about our ..culture.", he said..
"So what? How do you t think he native  nations felt when men  came here with guns and bombs and disease, slowly making them as if strangers in the land their forefathers built up on, made languages and yes they believed that a giant turtle held the earth..but the knew nature and followed the seasons and were tough and fit..ah, the white man came and made it their land??"
it was not that long ago in time..
Humans as we are are very young  are only babies in this whole time thing. Who knows what is next?
The smarter that you are the less likely you are to make war on others.
I am not saying don't fight. Smart people listen to other  smart people, do not believe in fairy tales and know the real powers of the mind.
(by the way, it is a myth that you only use 12% of your use is always working for you)
When you are longing for knowledge you do not linger on myths too long, you can not.

"Can you be super smart and super hateful?" He asked me changing the subject.

"Imposing as an intelligent person while still lingering on false myths is not only a lie my friend but it is not smart. It is stubborn pride. I am talking about real intelligence which  is telepathic, telekinetic and always does not care about you personally, only you should care about you personally.."

2017..hello my friends hello
you make 2017 which is 10..of course we must burn and destroy the already disgusting violence once and for all and leave the zombies in ashes so that roses can grow, not only are they so nice and sweet smelling, then make every one happy while they study and learn more about awesome stuff..and will now linger  linger on a wooden goddess on my healing heart
( a sweet sweet girl sent this to me)
as I sat on a chair crying I noticed an unexpected delivery for was a sweet sweet kind and I calmed down more holding a little goddess made of wood, naked, reaching for the stars..
I was crying..
because the boy who hit me just then and broke my car but good..
I was so shaken..
"what the fuk dude!"
I saw his eyes were so sad and sweet.."why??"
he said shaken, "I had better get my papers.."
I am like oh, yea, the papers..every one took pictures..
well, how inconvenient, I must say, friends and that thank goodness, no one  was hurt..the cars are broken but good and now my back is a little disrupted..I am fine over all.
I saw him in the shopping mall driveway...he just drove out in the road!
I was so mad and did not wonder if he was my enemy based on his skin color, race or religion. I just saw his face as a boy about 25 and he was nice. sweet boy.. my car?
broken and

by 2038 religions will be rare, the numbers do not lie or care..they don' say that they do is stubborn pride I suppose.

I want to wish you a most amazing time of reprieve, solitude and resting and eating and being content because family and mamma and papou and babies..
I love you all so much and know that always!

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

this whole year a letter to me this cold dark day

Breath in deeply because it is almost over. It is not really, we just know by the sun and where it is from where we stand, that, the year is over..we are going to have very short days and the next few nights will be loooooong....

review opportunities
review habits
review friendships
be honest
be free for guilt
free from worry that someone does not love you enough
they never will
move on
be free to say to your own self what it is that you want
be greedy for nice company not stuff unless it is my soap and in that case, be greedy

Breathe in and begin each day with a nice thought
a good plan
easy words with friends and work mates
say to them, "thank you"
say to them, "I am sorry" or "I love you" or both!

Remember who you are..
Who are you?
What do you love?
What do you learn each day?
Why the need to impress?

It is not your shoes or your hair style but it is what is going on in your head..

Learn from your mistakes instead of making reasons for them..reasons are always do what you want..
..because Christmas is just a few short days away. What ever the peace you aim for the next six or 8 weeks, well, stay warm, stay calm, eat well and love me more.

okay then..

time to work you fuking bitch witch whore (me)

Monday, December 19, 2016

I have a hard time being clear or is it that hard to accept the things I say

My daughter says that...she is so smart.

okay then..I will tell you one thing..

merry solstice to me
merry solstice to you
may we speak with delight and may we greet with some and
I love your butt too

ha ha

I do not know if you read this blog for soap ideas or whatever crazy thing that comes out of my brain, but I am happy that you do and I feel like we know each other and that we are close, I feel
see there is an invisible web of something, energy..but,  it is like a web and thing our energy, our good intention take energy and make sparks that happen..(true) and also there...wasted thoughts, all get on it and it expands so that we all are thinking the same way in our own unique tendencies and observations..that is why inventions come in cycles and political changes occur almost simultaneously throughout earth.
Why we are still in our gods phase and why we still argue and kill each other and eat like fuking pigs while eating pigs..ewee...

I am making soup with veggies today and I will try to be more clear. It is hard because I do not like having these conversations where I have to explain myself..I am a nervous person with hives when I think too

Orders are on line only.
I do not do deliveries, had I my own driver and how nice that would love that own driver, driving me and taking me and picking me  up in a warm nice.. well, it is another story,
I do not have a store front..
Orders are on line only..
this way is best for me.
I can manage the inventory and no one is upset because I ran out of lavender sage soap or another favorite.
They are all favorites. just take a look at this dirty girl here..(fuking Negan has me cussin)

Dirty girl here...

dirty girl soap nuggets two dollars each
organic raspberry seeds
organic olive oil
organic coconut oil
shea butter
glacial silt
aztec clay bentonite
organic jojoba
more honey
a drop geranium
a drop petitgrain

Sunday, December 18, 2016

lavender and oats

The last thing I am going to make in soap this year? Lavender with oats?

Maybe..You know how I get, you give me money, I buy oils and we go dancing..
It is all about the oils and never about me. 

Remember the chick who does not like pine? I  gave her a soap too, you know that. I don't understand how anyone can't like pine from white pine, but hey, maybe I have to be more choosy about who I do business with. That is the one thing I learned this year for sure.
About what my soap is worth and who get to have some. Not everyone for sure. No way. look, I make art, to me it is art, I love flavors and cooking and beautiful ideas..yours. It is all up to you and how we respond to one another.

I feel like at know, my other thing, women my age which I will occasionally meet, do not know me, what I have gone through such mountains and trials and my face shows the strain, I know it does..that is the witch part, that is the dark witch in mythology whether it is isis, or lilith or ceridwen..yea..I am for sure more ceridwen.
I feel like they do not know what I have seen. They got married and settled themselves in the for the right way to impress. No not all..not all..

Still,  there is a cast system and a tone to our humanity which cannot be denied..
I was wrong about us all being the same.We are not. Some are pretty and get to do more and go their own way. Some stay and drain your chinick till you can't breathe and they stress you out so bad you don't even know what to do first in your own tasks and they are wanting you, to be with you, to talk to is nice for be in a lighter place..they can't make their own light so they want to shine under yours, to get some of that luv..your love..:)
There are those who behave as a friend,  only to slide a little insult here and there because they can't just be fucking happy to see you shine, they have to say shit..fucking fuks! LOL

It is the holidays, they all come at you one after another and it is too many people, all day..
I am generally super happy always so that is why I an a valued member of the (team), all day, a thousand faces. I was actually brave enough to hide on my break and not speak for ten minutes to nice it was. 

A bunch of shit happened so what
now you gotta run and hide to fix some broken stuff'now you might shame yourself 
for being such a cunt
I am not in charge of all you good
you must actually start
burn some sage, make some art
do it now before you rot
I am not your servant
I am but your enlightened host
watch as sprinkles of starlight leave a trail
let me see yours, I don't care, which :)
I will and be glad to will my good intentions and your good ones too
I will be happy for your success and your gratitude

 I love gratitude
It makes me happy and not rushed...
today, I  took a rest in a comfy bed, before that, I made soap for is beautiful, kind, forgiving, rare, rich, super lavenderish and clean...

"take the space you need, you do not have burn out so that someone else can ignight.."

Lavender soap
4 ounces lavender oil
4 ounces shea
8 ounces organic oat ground up
32 ounces organic cold pressed coconut oil
80 or 90 ounces cold pressed olive oil

Friday, December 16, 2016

colder than a witches tit

I wonder what a tit has to do with anything? Is the witch naked and that is why her tit is cold? Is she big titted and her tits are always cold from jigglin?
I want to know. Why just the one tit? Does she have just one tit? Is it because she has to hide in the woods so they don't kill her because she won't follow their creeds? The fuking whores, chasing women and killing them..whores!

This season, I will remember how many died so that you and I can have a tree in the house. How many died so that they can have livable wages and money to buy things with, like food.
God hates that by the way. he said so..kill the people who worship other hods and if you bring a tree in the house that is bad and god punishes you and you family for generations..he loves generations of suffering for not killing a sheep the right way.
Still think that Christmas is Christian only? Santa? Christian? He is isn't remotely Christian.

Hey did you know in some states, that, if your religion is involved and you commit a crime based on your beliefs, they can consider its punishment based on your religion? Yes, there are people who want no separation from church and state and for their god  to run things. Like our new vice president..
see, I think he is lying. He knows evolution is real but the voters are dumb and  don't want evolution to be real to so he lies about it to the group and then they all believe it.
"yea, see, we are better.." They will say and think.
Not true no matter what they think.
No one is better and the witch out there in the cold hard woods is just like us, like you and me..but she does not speak your words and then you want to kill her. She knows trees have a way to communicate yet to be defined. She knows she was seeded here just like you and them.
Seeded..brought over by hot exploding fire breathing stars, churned out and spit out and flown out and pushed hard by heat and force so great as to not even be imagined so so hot and forceful as to push it all the way on this rock and more of course, more more mars and saturn and all of them..
She is like you and me. You do not like that but it is true. You want to make up a large giant god to protect you after you die and keep you safe just like in fairy tales. You want to say that if I am good enough, if they are good is all are and are not good enough unless you strive right now in this short life to be. Our morality comes form within us, our home, our neighborhoods, our mom, our church..our pastor...having sex with boys in the alter is creepy,!

Your thoughts and you actions show on your face. Are you sad or angry or desiring things which make you nervous so you take it out on the witch? Is that why you say that? "Colder than a witch's tit!"
I know! I see you doing it. It is a trigger for you. You are greedy for sex and what you deem and unholy and so you hate the witch you are fuking..the old whore you fuked over and over and then deemed her unworthy of your god's rules. The witch whose tits you would gladly whip and not give one care..ever hear of the Madonna complex?
 Men have been programmed for ages to behave this way about women..I think it is time we said something...
The torture of innocents, children and young boys, just not the young virgins who were as young as 9..Mohamed married Aliah and had sex with her at 9 years old..she was 9 not he. I don't know how old he was. It is creepy and I am thinking, "what a farce" The obsession with youth can go quite far with people that think they will not get caught..and frankly I would not want Santa lurking around my kid's rooms to make sure they are good.
"Do not sit on his lap. What are you thinking?"
I did not do that with my kids..I told them santa is mythology, my husband told them the lie..they loved the lie because he always made it look super cool..
that is how lies are..all polished and fake and we are all pretending...
"oh, come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant.."
lies.."oh, bring money..god needs loads of money!"

I know people come to these blogs to be uplifted and hear wonderful inspiring ideas..I am all for it.
I want real happiness and not just the facebook kind..
Do you?

yesterday, I had a wonderful day with family and my loved ones. We at a great meal and had dialogue in a real way with our word to each other and not the computer. I felt a feeling of real gratitude and comfort because, "I love these goons", I thought to myself!
Plus I haven't had my tits there is something to be glad about, I should post that on facebook!

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Uranus retrograde and get ready to screw up

Remember when I told you that we shouldn't overreact because things will break? I did at some point, I am sure:)
Well if you have already not felt this impact, I will say that the magnitude must rumble
and then if your not careful you will tumble down and dark hole you can't get out of
each step up and then half a step back.
Uranus being a higher octave of mars see? It fits into our myth as to always want to win. A race of homo sapiens..the mind and all that.
We don't want to be but we are a collective radiant thought inspired race of humanity.
We want to race against time and pretend and we want to be on the top winning side..oye, god forbid, ninx on that thought! Winning is complaix :)and fundamental only in crowds..
for me to win is for me to give and be free of want..that is winning..
Broken walls and giant chasms  between us does not change how our brains work together here on earth or they may yet to be defined ways in which our other planets shifts effect us electrically..How our sparks fly and what sparks burn things out.
Sudden realization, news and lovers are to be expected and not always for the seeming good..I am getting too far in the philosophical ideas..I am excited about so many things that I might just sing soon or cry, I don't know which.

Anxiety much? I am and you know why? I have had to face some hard truth for me. I am running a business and the post ruined a box , a very expensive box. I was  saying to my daughter, I said, "can you imagine every week's profits as good as this?"
She raised her eye brows at the prospect of such lovely thoughts..and then bamm, Uranus, package fucked up beyond repair..I am so upset at me, the thing, the time and the money and all of it..putas, I said be fucking gentle, handle with care and all that good stuff. I put it all in a big nice box too..oh man..
It is okay..I am okay and maybe the customer will be is a ball breaker for sure. I gave her a complete refund and did my best as I could. I  .am also sending her some new wrapping and labels and a glue stick if she can repair any of the product.

I feel better and want to say that if this is all that happens to upset me then my laaaife is  good...I will now continue packing orders a little more thoroughly and not fret and be free from guilt and worry. You know what I always say, "some money is not worth making"? Maybe it is true to some degree, or are there simply hills and valleys and words said and repairs made and maybe things broken..yup, living is this way and not just quotes from the facebook on how they think we should love each other.

Do you want me to talk about god some more?
ha ha ha ha
I have to make candles but maybe next time. :)

Monday, December 12, 2016

ultimate truths

the ultimate truth or should I say, An Ultimate Truth
"some things are meant to be enjoyed for a little while and then they are gone.."
Everything really!
I said that to someone and they kind of hugged themselves and said, "no way, no no no.."
I laughed a little..
"oh yes, and no matter how much you cling to that, it will still happen and you know why?"

Because some things are only meant to be experienced for now, right now and right this day..and no matter how much you cling to your desires, it is still happening and will happen again and again until you get it or don't get it. Some humans coast through like content with simple things and some are greedier than others..I am greedy for frankincense and patchouli in any combo. Don't give me, "it's the only way", I want to experience every way there could be and frankly I do not have time in my life to complete all the possibilities. I do not cling to any of them but I do have fond memories of certain oils. Very fond memories. That is the whole point, to leave a memory that lingers for the good, of all and not always just you.

If you don't get it, well you will cry a whole lot. You might even scheme to have it. It is what greed is. When you are so attached to someone or something and they are changing before your eyes  and you don't feel the same way anymore, or they constantly request forgiveness and you still hoard these concepts where you must maintain a certain social standard of someone else's template. Maybe you have your own template already and that means letting go of your baggage.
There will be a tomorrow whether you open your eyes or not, and it will happen the next day too.
There will a strong lavender and there will be a smokey pine and stinky spiknard. It is the magical  qualities of each oil that transforms us.
Also here is another one,
"when you are hearing "I am sorry" more than "I love you", walk away. Don't stay..they are self absorbed bullies, they are and the longer you wait, the more entrenched in muck of sadness and depression.they are mood vampires, they are lairs and make you the same way because they need a escape)) goat to be mean to.
You are more worthy than a hair on their pubis..mhoowhhaaaaa!!
It is never too late to be free of manipulation and selfishness..
It is always time to say what you want.
Do not rely on others to help you on this. You are alone in it.

I am
have a good day..

Sunday, December 11, 2016

hello snow and winter broom corner

I was going to take a picture of my broom corner but it s too dusty to show you. :)
It is cold out there so I wont be sweeping just yet.
We have a huge storm system over us right now and they say I am quirky and strange because I have been feeling it for a week. I pulled a muscle playing with my grandson is what actually happened. I know, it is hard to accept for me but I am not as limber as I once was and I was not drinking enough water.
Water is the key for muscles and everything really and yet we don't even care about throwing away Styrofoam cups from sonic! How many coke cups have you thrown away lately?
I can't, it is too much for me to ponder on. this is why I love soap making and cooking so much, you can enshroud yourself with good vibrations and thoughts, direct thoughts which mold what your mind set forth...and make good stuff!

I am packing orders tomorrow and it is going to make you so happy. I know it because you love what I make, I do it for you, and only you.

I think I make myself clear about life enough that you do not mind my frankness by now. Look how I have changed.
I am okay and I have to be super firm at a couple of meet them at the whole foods and they turn fuking weird. One wanted to return the  pine soap because it is too strong but she wont go to the web site to even see what I have.. "just give me three of any smooth soap, no scrubbies"  this is her quote with each order because she one time bought one scrubby soap from me and she does not know how I remember things perfectly and that I know she is a virgo and I a point..another one,
the old lady who loves lavender tried to return a "gift" of lavender mailette spray because she never smelled a dry lavender before. She brought it to my job! I almost lost it.."some thing might be wrong with it" I smelled it and it was dry mailette lavender and I couldn't believe it. " I gave you this as a gift, throw it away if you hate it.."
I tossed it in the think I want her cheap energy in my house after all the negative stupidity? Never!
I told them both, I do not do returns..I do not do returns. I will never sell a soap that has been to someones house for two weeks and the back to me and then to someone who I love. Who raised these people? How did they get like this? Don't you think they have bad manners? Am I too sensitive about pine?
Hey, man, Uranus is retrograde! I am!

Sometimes, it takes me a while, and yet, I will always reach an ultimate end of my patience, even with myself.

It is all true and I feel free and clear enough to say it.

You either love aromatherapy or you don't..nuff said, right?

Also anyone who is against white pine absolute makes me think they are not worthy of me. Wouldn't you agree?

breath now anastasia and hold it and stop..

I feel like what I do is really special not just another toy for bored somewhat rich suburban housewives with nothing to do but yoga and shopping..
..ha ah..okay I will really stop....

It must be the frankincense. I put a bunch on my knee. I felt it as it penetrated in my skin and it made things really nice.

I have made some new soap, I took my time and prepped so good for it. I hope you try a few. I went back to my recipe with 80% olive oil and 20% organic cold pressed coconut oil. The beauty of these two fats together make me so happy. Smooth, creamy and decadent..all for you.

I have few nice gift sets I am making for my peeps and for now, I will clean the kitchen and go to work..which I love because the people I work with, they are kind and doing their best. I will do my best too.
I love you for reals baby and even when there is dust in the corner near my witch broom. I pass it every day and don't really mind. My broom is ready to sweep even the most subtlest of mean vibes..
I love you and love vibes..good vibes and comfort vibes, lots of money vibes, great customer vibes and excellent skin care.

Friday, December 9, 2016

messy head so cold and winter is here

the messy head is me on any day of the week the cold is out side and the winter comes like on a wind and it gusts and the leaves fly and land on us, and it snows. I covered the fig yesterday with rope and blankets and I might keep adding. Last year I covered it so good that it actually produced for me. This year she was harder to tie up because she has rooted herself pretty well in the south east corner..which is naturally the best corner to start with in witchery. You tend to begin at a corner. My bed faces east. You? Where does your bed face? Are you under a window? My window faces west and my bed faces the window away from the heater.
I was fukin hot all night and freezing at the same blanket weight perfect but just too hot. I had the window a cracked open too so as to not be too stuffy and hot all night. Maybe I am done with the duvet? Too much linen is heavy and stifling.
A messy head is what I Liz Taylor from the sixties with out the
I have actually begun to connect with  my hair a little. All these years with a mop head in a I cut the hair and it looks so nice. I have also lost lost about ten pounds off of my skull and the scalp is so happy.
Yup..a woman gets older and she is done caring for people and must tend to things that are weighing her down. One thing is, the blanket..ha haaaa
next, the sticky floor at the moment because one of my kids decided to pour hot water  in the honey jar as to get all the honey out and I spilled it..ha hahaaaa Now I have to clean up all over again!

Nothing is weighing me down..ha ha ha ha
I love you

So, the honey though.. I was saving it back for a scrub. I didn't tell them before hand but some one loves honey around here. It is okay, they needed the honey because my soup was inedible. I added too much hot Hungarian paprika and it was a fail because I was not wearing my glasses and used the wrong canister of Hungarian red stuff! Dammit! I ate a bowl and maybe that is why I was so hot all night long. Hungarian hot paprika is hotter than anything I have used in my life yo! Wow! I did put about a tablespoon in the pot thinking it would be sweet and then the smell of it make me realize what I had done. It was sad and I will remember from now on to check the containers more thoroughly...
The bad soup goes. I won't cook today because I will eat salad and bread and olives. Maybe a tomato, something light on my body.
I am sure of one thing about hot peppers, they will help with all sorts of maladies like cold and flu because red components in veggies and fruit are made up of these really tiny particles which kill bad stuff and also help the heart, your skin, more spice, just not spoonfuls..:)

Nothing is weighing me down..not even me
I am not sorry that it is time to be free
no sir, no way..
It is time to not be sorry that I am what I am

Nothing is weighing me down..except that there's not enough Rick in The Walking Dead!

Thursday, December 8, 2016

working with jasmine

Jasmine grandifolium...

I mixed this 10 mls of absolute with ten mls linden blossom absolute and grapefruit oils..
I have one drop honey absolute which I want to wait to see if I really might not need it as my will my idea of what I want is a jelly with a sunny yet super dirty jasmine coming out of a big snappy citrus grapefruit snappy..linden? Oh yes, now, linden? It made me really happy, is all can say about linden. It is so odd and so nice and so pleasant and so effervescent even. Attracting, jasmine is all about attracting wealth  and my song is all day shreem, shreem, shreem..and my breathing is four by four and my mind forgiving my uncomfortable thoughts and I am sure comfortable with most of my choices..

La Reina De Abeja

The Queen Of The Bees

The jasmine makes you feel like thick stomach quiver and then you might want more, one more whiff to see if you actually felt that way..yes, I do..each time.. like hot night with creatures all calling to each other, some we can't even hear super sonic, ultra is real and so are atoms all spinning around you right is so fucking cool I am having to breath it all in right at this moment and be still to ponder on jasmine.

What is is this secret dirt she makes and why? why? Does she bide her time? Does she know she is classic and beautiful at every phase?
I think so, but remember about the mistress, the secret lover, the mystical forces yet to be known?  That is jasmine all day long and lasting through the night. Even now, I can close my eyes and can a nice little dose of 2-Benzenedicarboxylic acid..nice word there which is why I make other words to describe my idea of jasmine scent. seductive
fine things
There is a place for jasmine for me..she brings me nice taps on my back when I say great things which inspire, and make people feel free
to say any thing they want to without hurting each other's feelings and to not have to say every is all about confidence and poise.
Attracting is what I want for you..attracting with your mind, your actions and your ideal wants and conditions. Attracting loads of money. People want to give you money and you always have enough..
Jasmine is wealth, it is goodness and it is smart thinking and quiet words.
It is looking good, it is secrets, and secret love affairs and stinky sex..:)

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

finding your stand in aromatherapy

When I started this love and study of scent, I was a young woman reaching out to something real and something I could get my hand in to. I played with mud pies and made stuff even as a baby girl at three and four.

My memories are of women admiring me for my muscular and bigger thighs. I always had the legs, I did. Later in my life, I kicked really hard with them. It was my best thing and I wish I could move as well today, but our bones slow down..especially when they kick you back, you know, the people, some kick back..
Those mud pies though. :)

I am making more creams tomorrow. There will be something as a balm this time because my girls who love oily balms are feeling like I only go for the whipped things. Fine, I well make for you this loveliness, my beautiful, black goddesssessss.
as per a fragrant request by someone that I would kiss a heart and speckle and song or word or two for.

here it is..
my Reina de Abeja

Greek extra virgin olive oil
avocado oil
organic jojoba
Barry's bees wax
and a drop honey absolute which is all I have..but it will be enough because the beeswax from Barry is full of honey and smells wonderful. I am going to whip it as it cools like a mayonnaise of sorts..not too much but I want the honey to be in the mix and not on the bottom at then end of use. I actually like that stuff on the bottom for a nice oily face wash!

Balms are for cold times and there will be more. I enjoy them so much and we have plenty of perfect jars as vessels.

I am also making a serum of frankincense and patchouli..that too will be an amazing offering and you should get one before I use all the frankincense I bought on
 I have been inhaling frankincense for days, it is in my hair, and on my knees because you know why?

I walk easily through my day, I carry each foot as high as it needs and I always have a song in my heart for you...

This is what is stuck in my head now but hey we know that we are influenced by who we hang out with!

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

women do hate women why are you surprised Madonna?

We as women do have natural inclinations to hate on other women. It is hormonal and a protective thing we have built in our evolution in order to gain a comfortable home to make babies..after that, after women get past the baby phase, well, they become hags, crones, old laddies and hateful old bags..yes they do friends..we all will..
It is in new habits that we can change all that, but that does not mean ordering up a more mean old hag than  to run things, or someone who continually lies so that the truth is not the truth and never could even be described any more, so jumbled and tweaked that it was. Lies and debauchery have no gender, their delivery is different, that is all..

I am not one to care care about too much of the political lies the spew all day and night to  basically keep things running so that they can eat better and more than the rest of us or for sure the feeling of power and all that, maybe even some them actually care and want to change things to a better stand point.

We are the ones who change our stand point and I really don't care if Madonna can't sleep right now because her tyrant did not get it, but I do care that women said  some really nasty things about another woman simply because they wanted to follow the favored team..where all the righteous people go..
oye and oye some more!!Same old story and they love it because it feels good and not because it works. It feels good to be on top and look pretty.

Oh, wait, you do not believe in evolution? Well, what do you think the gasoline you use to drive around is? Yes, it is dinosaurs and plants and dead stuff..if we can see clearly how old things are and then you claim to me six thousand years..we have trees older than that!

Wait, I was not going to go there..I had to tho just for a sec.

I find that what is actually happening is people are being dumbed down. Skills which took an ability to communicate as a work force, are being whittled away because they cost too much. A specialty is not so special when every one gets a bit of it. That is why even our stores are evolving. New skills are meant to happen at this point and when they finally set themselves in a common days events we will have already transformed the methods while events, jobs and feelings are left at the way side allowing for others to take the place in a new way on an old platform..

This is an idea which scares me a little :) because it shows a race of humans who use liquid soap!!
Fuking liquid soap!! I can't even ..!! LOL
It contains metallic and plastic components which make your skin feel silky! It says so. And Vegan nail polish, we need that and it has to say..
It is so real and so ridiculous at the same time..why would nail polish  a completely synthetic substance not be vegan? Why?? You know why. Because someone who has never read one book ever, and has only spent time sleeping or watching the tv, that is why...Watch The Office, and laugh..laugh so hard...
I am reaching out today because, I get in a mental panic about the dumbing down of people and why we do it to ourselves..
Is advertising actually God? I feel like we are all always looking to shine and out shine..but all I see are fat lips and high heels and tights and high heels and well, it is pretending..everyone knows when you get home you take that shit off!
You take a nice shower with vegan soap :) and put the lotion with rose in it and then you sleep like everything is alright..
(from the office.."alright, alright, alright...")

I hope you have a wonderful day and sing  to me some more when I say to you, "you make everything alright".

Friday, December 2, 2016

Cool you almost made sense

until you said you are a creationist and think the earth magically appeared in flash by god's you are afraid to even look at me because of one conversation we had and you were left answers? God is love? He makes deals to give you a better baby and find your keys?
I myself prayed to Lahiri Mahsaya when I was trying to come back in the states with my kids on a bus in Mexico) :)
I know he is dead and I knew I was pretending, but still, I was scared and looked with in..we all do dig deep to make ourselves calm down and handle situations..yes? A little ancestor worship much?

Creation on the scale of our universe is the most amazing thing I have ever learned about. Nothing in any human book can compared to the wondrous freaking universal laws..they have not much to do with us and our daily workings..these particle exist even in spite of us..(my idea there) Like air is not a spirits, rather,  made of volcanoes are not gods but only melted rocks... which are churned deep inside this giant living breathing rock..big breath is that exciting!

I am here for you, really, after all the bull shit and pain and good heart and positive thoughts from the secret, you still need to argue about stupid things only based on stubbornness. And yes, I was once a devote and all that good stuff. I am still devoted, I still meditate and do my breathing.. it is not based on childish notions when I know now about a little more  chemistry and how things turn in to other things..look at language and how words become a way of life..think and say better ones and often is a key in my humble opinion.
A key in to better relationships and that actually begets better..

In that respect, I must say, this season seems to bring out some of the best in all of us. I wonder if it is because we all at the same time, we think the same good stuff, family, giving, hugging, laughing, singing, talking and disagreeing and forgiving..bring the tree in and let us attend..xxxx

Thursday, December 1, 2016

December 1st astrology ideas on the coming year

Aries..observe and act wisely. Do not ponder too much on the details unless you are tending  to be blind to the whole  truth a little because you can't handle the truth. The truth is, you can and you should instead of worrying about who did what.
You have your secrets too, you know that. The problem is that and I do not think it is a problem at all but it does hurt some peoples feelings especially if you are an Aries get mad so easily! Dude!

art and waiting and feeling like you've worked your ass off and continue to make it good as any bull can. I would say that there are some wonderful payoff's coming for you.

Gemini..things are really good, and you are the best that you have ever been. I know it stresses you out when bad shit happens to less fortunate family members. Calm down and focus on what needs done at this moment. Be kind and a little more forgiving. Sneaking around? Maybe but some of you are in a strange place of what is socially accepted and what the real self wants..a little pot and your mate is like "no, pot is for whores and vagabonds" lol
Tell them to grow up! If only real problems  were so easy, right? It is always easy for you because you are so pretty! always make  me feel so grateful and contented. It has always been that way. You want so much, grab what you want then! Take it! They are all wanting to give it to you because they, we, know that you are accountable.

Leo..jeez..enough vacations baby! You need to get your ass up and work unless of course you are planning to now become a trans gender artist living in the slums to "see what the poor live like"
I feel like you have a tendency to change the truth to what you want it  to be..that is why Leo people are such great entertainers! It is time kids. Be real and be free and don't bring lies to the table in order to justify your life as it is today. You have had all the choices to one else can take the blame for your life! That said, don't look back, move foreword and stop complaining all day.  I am not mad at you, I just say what I want. are in love with love. I know this. This is why you are compassionate and supportive. Until you are not!  Until you are not..
Be here, we need you to BE here, not some dream in the past where the food was better and the sex was better and you sit and make loved ones sad because they might feel they can never measure up to your illusions of love and  the past and how great it may have been. You have your sad memories too. I know. You may hold them as treasures not to be let go because as soon as you do, poof, they dissolve and you must be accountable here and now again..
I love you, do what ever you want tho, so then later you do not have to blame others for your choices.
It is deep. (Rick aka Andrew Lincoln)

wait..that is me..okay, smart, smart,. observant, alone and never alone, creative, centered and enjoys a dirty aspect of humanity, fair, somewhat open injustice, can be a stickler for the rules..and then maybe too much complaining. I like to call them rants because when you are on the computer writing, many more things can come out than you would say in person face to face. That is the beauty of finding an avenue to express your thoughts and wonderment..
I love you, my Libra ways!

Scorpio...take charge and know you are loved. I love your moon in Scorpio if you have one.. and I love your scorpionic rock star ways. You show up what I need you and you tell it like it is. You always support and revive my thoughts and heart.  Scorpio is both an eagle and a scaly creature who hides under rocks. they can anyhow. Or they have someone doing the hiding. It is hard on them but they seem to take the pain and still carry on. If anyone can keep it real, it is Scorpio.

Sagittarius..look I love you and wonder when you will stop following myths and come to some sort of conclusion that the old ways are not better than now. Some Sag men need the freedom right now to play a little but they are serious under the jokes. they are shrewd and put in effort and as in Gemini they are so face and all.

Capricorn...while everyone else is busy pretending they are wonderful, you have stayed quiet. I respect that because I am not as quiet. I love the way you open to to me and show me ideas like a muse like a song written just for me and it is always changing too. Like some days you are Benny Hill and then you say words like Shakespeare. Your logic and your wit and the way you can laugh at all of it.. (Daryl, aka, Norman Reedus)

Aquarius..good, you've calmed down a little. You have the ability to change and see the world for what it is, next year is a stellar year, where you will really become more down to earth and more real with your loved ones. Some of you may think you can stay young forever because you are more and you are different and you will will but the clock still keeps on ticking, even for  you.

Pisces..almost like Virgoan memories flooding your psyche and not always for the good. You have traveled far and now it is time to give it a rest a little. You have given and boosted wealth and now it is time to know that there is always more and you have powers to change minds, I really would like it if you changed yours. I do like it that you help but please take a moment to care for your own needs. Tomorrow they will all still need more from you...they...

I love you and l love science..these little astrology ideas are me going back to some sort of memories which have flourished because every book that I have read has brought me here. I am healthy and happy to be with you every day. I am happy that I can make beautiful skin care and I can try to be happy even though someone liked and then unliked one of my items..hahahahaaa
who is this person unliking things?

Sunday, November 27, 2016

nelson mandela 1964 speech

 I listened to his speech yesterday and this morning I read it and can't stop..It is a long long speech and he spoke with out notes or teleprompter and yet, he remembered facts and statistics effortlessly out of his head!
Here is but a short excerpt of this speech and I hope you at least skim through the real one.:)

Nelson Mandela's speech before he was sentenced to life in prison

Pass laws, which to the Africans are among the most hated bits of legislation in South Africa, render any African liable to police surveillance at any time. I doubt whether there is a single African male in South Africa who has not at some stage had a brush with the police over his pass. Hundreds and thousands of Africans are thrown into jail each year under pass laws. Even worse than this is the fact that pass laws keep husband and wife apart and lead to the breakdown of family life.
Poverty and the breakdown of family life have secondary effects. Children wander about the streets of the townships because they have no schools to go to, or no money to enable them to go to school, or no parents at home to see that they go to school, because both parents (if there be two) have to work to keep the family alive. This leads to a breakdown in moral standards, to an alarming rise in illegitimacy, and to growing violence which erupts not only politically, but everywhere. Life in the townships is dangerous. There is not a day that goes by without somebody being stabbed or assaulted. And violence is carried out of the townships in to the white living areas. People are afraid to walk alone in the streets after dark. Housebreakings and robberies are increasing, despite the fact that the death sentence can now be imposed for such offences. Death sentences cannot cure the festering sore.
Africans want to be paid a living wage. Africans want to perform work which they are capable of doing, and not work which the government declares them to be capable of. Africans want to be allowed to live where they obtain work, and not be endorsed out of an area because they were not born there. Africans want to be allowed to own land in places where they work, and not to be obliged to live in rented houses which they can never call their own. Africans want to be part of the general population, and not confined to living in their own ghettoes. African men want to have their wives and children to live with them where they work, and not be forced into an unnatural existence in men's hostels. African women want to be with their menfolk and not be left permanently widowed in the Reserves. Africans want to be allowed out after eleven o'clock at night and not to be confined to their rooms like little children. Africans want to be allowed to travel in their own country and to seek work where they want to and not where the labour bureau tells them to. Africans want a just share in the whole of South Africa; they want security and a stake in society.
Above all, we want equal political rights, because without them our disabilities will be permanent. I know this sounds revolutionary to the whites in this country, because the majority of voters will be Africans. This makes the white man fear democracy.
oh there is more..yea..what a guy, he spent 27 years in prison and then became a leader of the whole place..

Saturday, November 26, 2016

that was so comic book and your life might be

Mine is! My life, my family and my friends..I am still discovering my life, mostly!
I work with some pretty smart girls and I say girls because they are all younger than me. We all make mistakes. I am older and not wiser to the beauty of manipulating the masses as to make them buy their food and sundries in just the most enjoyable way. I do have to step aside often both  for customers and fresh young nuggets ready to climb the corporate ladder. "go on then, I think..:)
Listen, I love it to a certain point and when I see people buy 100 dollars dinners for their family because they forgot how to make stuffing, I pause. I know, they all have jelly bellies and watch too much telly and never read about anything real like atoms and words that make them think, they are at the doctor and then the hospital to visit a friend, they are many of them so sick. Sadly some read only books that agree with them and visit Facebook which only agrees with them in all sorts of pictures and now they come to Instagram and pour their poetic hearts out each time they break up. sigh
it doesn't matter was my point anyhow, if you've sort lost what I was

no wait, I remember my song!

Jelly Belly
jelly belly
you know you watch too much telly
eating and eating and worrying about the government
you simply want to loose yourself in the sedative entertainment
geared to hypnotize easily  allows your brain to retire
you forgot that it takes fire and you have to start the flame
what will you do
will you cry in your room about your lost loves and your lost money
who cares about you honey, don't you know about refrain and do what needs done and say to me words that are true so you do not have to remember and make up fantasy stories..
I am stepping aside whenever you need me to, so you can pass, don't worry, I love you and want the best things..glory, money, great sex and more money..
do it with class honey
say to me words that make me feel sunny
sing me a song
I want that
Remember to work out so your ass won't sag..too many of the masses  can look up in there..they want to so bad, it hormonal..and your tight pants!


Friday, November 25, 2016

a little Black Friday sale at my shop

I put a few things on special for today only. I hope you get to buy one or three bars of soap for winter. You like to exfoliate, I am here for you. We aim to please. I mean me and my royal inner self.. lol

I just read my last I do go on ad on:)
This is what happens when I learn stuff, I rant and become emotional in a way. Know this, in real life, ia m the same and my voice is to say in all honesty what new things I am learning yet..oh man, I am so excite.

Enjoy your day today and don't go crazy spending shit tons of money on stuff you think you must can do without a whole lot of stuff. a whole lot, and soap is not one of those things.
ps, I am about to go wash with some lavender soap  right now!

good smell
fresh skin
good thoughts for your day while hot water surrounds you
soft towel
delicious vanilla fat on your skin
mango butter and shea

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

November the week of thanksgiving and the lie I love you more

You know, after you slaughter a bunch of brown people, you can sit down and pretend that god did it for you and you are so so so thankful.   The Jews do something similar on Passover. It is crazy shit what you can spin and as long as we all agree, it must be true, right? Humans, we are the same all over earth so do not think I can honestly accept that Babaji is living in the mountain! More pretending on that one. I also know that Elvis is not still alive meditating somewhere.
A bunch of worthy people sitting down and being thankful that they just slaughtered a bunch of other humans already living there...good on them! Or, we would maybe not have been here sharing this note. and they say evolution is not real..
Thanksgiving though..dude..
That is the real thanksgiving and aren't you just a little bit offended that the myth continues based on some collective creepy lie and the  need to actually gather together one time a year and act like you love each other and pretend other things rather than the truth.

Some truths are that bad that you cannot say them out loud. people even get mad. They want to pretend that Santa is a friend of Jesus and heaven has mashmallows and clouds everywhere while their brothers are writhing in melting hell which the soul has no meat sit so I wonder how that would feel.
We are just a meat suit.  A mutant  of meat using other meat for energy.

Yes be thankful..of  course you should. your problems and most of us, are first world. There are people living so much differently and with less and it feels so bad when you are hungry. There is food and not enough of of it so the constant yearning would continue and then you kill something and eat. You kill the other guys that eating your food and you kill the food so you can eat it...look how we have evolved to what perhaps every creature that would dominate a planet would do by now. We have man made habitats for our kill. Also, I am not paying 50 dollars for a bird I do not care for the taste of!
Listen woodsman scientist fellow who loves me, bring me a wild bird I and I would really consider your company ..wild not some health food crap or kroger bird filled with so much hormones that all I taste is salt..just like the cross, you have made a bird a symbol of some sacrifice which was really a massacre  because so many already here people were slowly driven out to extinction by you being the ones who brought filth and  disease..jeysusss!!

"hey we're here now, give us all your shit and and leave this area!"
"where will we go?'
"go west, it is nice!"
"There are other tribes living there and it is far, why can't we stay here?
"because I like it here, we insist and you will do as we say, anyhow, so you had better get packing!"
"it in the middle of winter!"
a bunch more already living people, dead and gone!

You say that I am a spoil sport? Someone who wants to rain on the pretend party?
I am not good at pretending.
Open your eyes and get your life in order..stop pretending god loves you more..I love you more, me, I love you more..and I would show up with a smile on my face.

Monday, November 21, 2016

things that hold you back

having to have something right now
having to be anxious about electronics
(I mean how do I know how to hook up a cody so I can watch the walking dead in there alone?)
I did that once..I bought a phone so I could text a man and then he wasn't interesting..ha ha ha..I liked that phone. He was so lovely at first too. With his strange arty ways.
I like an Aries boy. They are willing to do for you..they will pour everything in to giving and then when they don't get their way, oh could be as small as shoes in the wrong spot and they freak out..
fun fun weird people.
I wonder how and who raises these kids who go out and break things and get jobs where they do nothing but fuck up.
I find it interesting is all when I meet women who are only concerned with my hair color. It is time to grow it out, get over it. Why do I need that fake brown hair so I can look younger to appease some social system which despises the older generation.
By the way seniors, please do not eat when speaking to me close up. and no one else should either but it happens most with some really older ones. They love the crackers with the avocado dip. We make it fresh, it is good and they get a sample and then come right to me to talk about b12..ha hahahaaaa
you have to be nice.

I am busy until next year in retail so I hope to make not some amazing soap but that every batch and every oil and every grit I might have added touches your skin and makes you so frikin' happy that you fart!

Sunday, November 20, 2016

don't look at me now a poem for Rick Grimes TWD

don't look at me now with your cast down eyes
I am not your savior either and that may well be the surprise
the dying wishes for doom may be your trip in this life
where the zombies are nothing to the monsters that arise
from shame and fear and ignorant cliches

fear not my demeanor
fear not my  submission now
your dick down my throat, really, it is a short way to my throat..learn math..

thank you for reading my poem for rick:)

Saturday, November 19, 2016

enormous feet


I have boys and one of them has size 16 shoes..ha ha ha
that is so funny..he is a big man anyhow. A wonderful ocd fakin good man. He washes his hands and he keeps himself clean. Sometimes I feel he dawdles, my sweet one..dawdles and carries on on the one thing that must happen and life is his own little bubble and he is happy. We all are. We are the happiest we have ever been, all of us. Yes people die. People get sick and get old and get mad..sure..sure..and they do go away, good..some have to go away to become what they are so that they can be at happiness with themselves. You need a safe secure home for all that to happen. there are rules to everything. I should say recipes you always have to tweak.

Another boy will sleep all day until he "really" needs money and then he goes and does "jobs"..I do not like a man sleeping in my house all day and have made myself clear more than one time. It sinks just have to always be clear on what you want and what needs to be said.

As a parent, I have hurt many feelings. I had to. I always told my daughter the dangers of being alone with boys and how quickly they can spread your legs and then it is over..
"mom, eweeee, you're gross!"
Sure sure, I am gross..he!

Being clear on what you want may be an art form and one must nurture those aspects of living day to day events. memories and fun and the perceptions of what it was have changed..we now know that our memories are like a photo that keeps changing and evolving based on our perceptions of reality today. I am not saying what one remembers is not true, it is just not the same.
Don't think that I am forgetting the pain of being burned by that hot soup or the pain of being burned by jealousy or back stabbing..we all have.
Move on, allow for time to forgive is nothing about you anyhow..when someone is evil and mean based on their authority, that is on them..

In the space of the short time that you are here, on earth, okay:_), you body's cells have continued to evolve, regenerate over and over and over. Even you brain has built all sorts of new areas of receptors based on what your true desires have asked for..asked or intended or steered..yea..sure sure

How much tv have you watched today, or facebook post have you had? I would say to my kids, and myself, don't fill your brain with other people's ideas and desires are, make your own..

Thursday, November 17, 2016

that lasted one season..where was the full moon in your chart, I was fourth house taurus..almost fifth..oohh la la

So then I wrote a couple of papers on what god should be and they had me read it to the congregation after church. My ears were ringing so I do not remember what drivel it was but I am sure I had developed some sort of interest enough for all the old men to have a little charming bru ha ha

Ever read your stuff out loud? Notice it is never what you think you wrote! That is for sure because I know when I read some things I wrote, it sucks..the feeling of illiteracy is grand and yet, I am  talking so you might as well get used to it. Dammit, I am taking communion on my period..I broke the rules. I walked behind the altar all the time. Women, are not allowed to this day!
I was like 16 or just..Jordan was 18 and he was always only interested in my soul more than my body seeing as that he attracted ten girls to one or two boys...he spoke gently and I always have liked that.
I think the Greek society stuff is coming back to me now, because I see my cousins and my ex cousins all the time. People and families like to stick together. There is nothing wrong with that unless they are criminals and break your All the boys I had crushes on are coming in to focus in to some sort of a dreamy "oh, yea.."
Seeing as that I am have Taurus Fourth house issues and it is so wonderfully, I will focus on cleaning up, letting go of old clothes, smelling good, art, flames, old flames, no flames but fun stuff as I head towards some amazing wonderful friendships.

Remember how some things are only meant to be happening for a short sweet while and you can not go back.

I am always tweaking my ideas about astrology, I love mythology and see no reason why I can't incorporate focus on fourth house issues as much as any one who cannot know ever know and only make up,  who says, "here, give me all your shit, no, here take the weapon I killed your people with, and now, hold it ,  you just break down and give me all your shit, I will kill you so bad you ..""
Oh Negan!

I hope you enjoy my rants, I love speaking to you in this way. It is my way of being in real time..or is it not even about time because we made up that word too??

my song of the day

you can't go back all the way
if you try you will cry at the decay
as time and space  move so swiftly
that sometimes you feel as if you are standing still
you are not
there will be rot
anger and chaos
in each day
rise above the fray
do not get stuck in some pretend pile of thoughts
that is how you rot like a zombie
barely understanding this moment because you get so stuck in yesterday's wonderment
you can try and still you can't go back all the way..
I say, move on, go forth, ponder new ideas, creativity flows..comfort easily easily had, clean floors baby and my feet and your feet easily go forward..
They are good, you get to have coffee
and beer and a sandwich and a nice it is to sleep in linens
soft smells of sandalwood wafting through your pillows
make a memory now
make it good anyhow
make it rich and rare and soft and fuzzy and smile at me as I smile at you now..and no, low brow.
I am smiling..
"oh you can't go back all the way, it is to cherish and rule this day, right now, to laugh and sing and be my fre,, lovie, my nerd butter belly booley..

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

1974 and jordan bajis

You fall in love with a face, and I was young. I thought Jordan Bajis was the most beautiful greek boy ever ever and he invited me to bible study. Everyone was happy. We were trying to find truth and meaning in life. I thought it odd that all these boys were all of a sudden interested in me and good boys according to my mom's and dad's standards.. greek and good family..greek and church were. Oh, Pete Samakas, what a babe he was!
It was nice with Jordan,  he took us through a guided meditation prayer thing and his sister came down the steps and said "yay, god" and it is all I can remember about her shallowness.. Of course she said that. She was one of the rich more refined greeks and her hair was straightened..haha the things you remember..
I was introduced to the crazy fat family by Jordan who said they were more advanced in the study. By then I had read the bible like all the way in three months and skipped over all of the harsh god of the old testament , he was awful with even his instruction on how to abort a baby..dude, Leviticus is nasty. I wanted the one god that songs were written about like Elton John's song Levon..oh man, I knew that album inside out.  "and there is no one there to save him, if he and I think it's going to be a long long time till touchdown...sighing singing..
So I went to their house one Tuesday with Jordan and his fine ass self, and we sat down to experience this higher prayer business and the mamma came out and started  the prayer with the most loud business chanting things and then they all started writhing and saying starnge made up words that "only god can understand" and I was frozen..
I did not know which sounds to make to to rightfully talk or speak  to god  and felt uncomfortable there..was this what god wanted? the one who would  always forgive me and never drown me or burn me oh man, they scared the fuk out of me so much, and Jordan went off to college (he was much older than me)and I began dating hunkin Nick..I wish I knew about vetiver then, we might still be together...naw..:) Nick is fine I am fine too..remember?
I love vetiver and I am glad you came when you did..

Sunday, November 13, 2016

tonight is the night bro

and yes, I am dancing like Danny De'vito in that movie he was in with Arnold. Have you seen him in "always sunny in Philadelphia" so funny that show. I can only watch a little bit because it is too much some days. :) All of them, from that hunky one who with the episode "Cool Mac" I friking died laughing! xxx

your true nature coming in to view.
Your truths as it were.
what do you value most?
what do you desire now?
brings forth gifts
 My word! Your words..they all mean something..lets us now talk about "Love"
What do you Love? What is it that you value most?
Right now, you have an opportunity to develop kinder modes of is not always what you want or believe, it is about what it is and patience is the way.

Your words.. They are the true weapons men use and some dumb ones with the guns.
Sorry, you do not need it, your kids are smart and will find them. When that sperm donor left, I sold every one of them. I sold them because the neighbor came over right away and offered me big bucks and then he said he would feed my family all winter (we lived on a huge  hill.  :) if I would be a mistress with him. I didn't. why? look, he said his red truck was better than I said no, but now I wonder if it would have been not bad to be an actual whore for a dude who liked red  trucks. I must have been really hot then! Plus, lol, a little bit of time after that, it snowed and I ran out of heating fuel and had to go buy diesel at the gas station down hill and had to walk because it was like five feet and no plows!
I have been having memories of that house in Kentucky I loved it so much. You could make an apartment downstairs and it went right out to the hill and the woods. Damm! Remember when I pulled grapevines till my hands bled?
I loved that place as I have loved every house I have been in. This one? Oh man, trees, food, nature in a small controllable space all my own? Yup! My mom near by, yup! Papou with visits and gifts, yup.

So full moon magnets got you pondering on things and stuff?
At least you are not Rick having to deal a visit by Negan and his goons. What a dick, Negan!
I mean who doesn't want to be loved, right? I don't know, I want to be comfort with all the loyalty. I think Rick, he tries to be good. He does and then he kills when he has to. In real life tho, the weapons are swords and knives.
Rick is going to decide what his next move is. He will think on this like a man and transform it in to something spiritual almost.
I love The Walking Dead!

Have you noticed that I haven't spoken much about the bible? Don't worry, soon I might share some thoughts on my last book on the "God" by Dan Barker
okay just a few notes! :)
The patterns in  the templates in  all the early books is fascinating because there is constant repetition of phrases like "I will bring famine and pestilence and the sword on you" and then they repeat it word for word..and over and over. You have better keep all the rules or else and guess what, I make deals with Satan and one time  he bet me that one of my best men was only good because I was watching..(job) so I let him torture the guy so he could prove he loves me  and will follow my rules. Negan all day! Yup! and yes this is still god talking, I let Satan kill all ten of  his kids and burn all his sheep and kill his cows with a sudden pestilence..and .. sigh!
God makes deals with Satan now? Bets and gambling for someones true love for him?
Well, Job got on his knees and said, "oh glorious lord god, your the best, no really the  very most wonderfullest best"
Tell me now that "god is love" the way, he is a jealous god and that is why he brings that. He hates women as whores, and when you look at other gods or stray from his rules, " I will raise your skirts over your face and shame you" some books translate that in to "I will rape you"

Tell me now how your gods are love!

I am just saying and well, it is the full moon and I do not think we should always hide behind a hazy wall of lies we tell ourselves in order to be in charge at least a little bit..
I do not want to be in charge, I want to make the old whore tonight! I have everything I need to make her but good. I might even raise my own skirts..ohh la la
Under the full moon, I will glow my good thoughts  and reflect and soak in delight and soak in comfort and family, great powers transformed in to rich layers of joy and healthy relationships..
The old whore because love is dirty and sweet and self love should be the same. the old whore because she has been alone in her thoughts for a very long time and says words to herself, on  her  behalf bringing happiness overall.
Her opinions change as they need to. Her hair always wild and her witch notes always developing, always attracting, and always graceful in her poised readiness. be ready baby..