hello and thank you

The more I read, the more I am grateful. I am grateful about my life and my heart's needs always being met.

Remember cologne guy? Well he dumped me because he does not want to dump cologne. Sigh..I mean on the one hand it was nice to have a dude fawn all over me and I know none of that is real. I have been around the block a few times and so I engaged to my horror. It is horror when these dudes come sniffing like they do. I  do smell nice and well, somehow Uranus struck again and I am in this weird friendship which secretly I found a little gross because it is so outside the box for me to engage with men.
I am a monk and I like it.

"Mom where are you going"
" I am invited by Ted to go to a movie"
"mom don't go, you won't have fun" They all chimed, their friends who come here often also rebelled at the notion.
" already said yes, Ted needs me right now, he is nice, I want to see if i like it.."
"you won't, mom, you know that."
Later,  I came home all perclempt and displaying asthma symptoms from the cologne. I thought it was Adrenalin and it was actually his perfume which choked me for two hours. Why would someone wear such heavy cologne is my question.
I don't know but I asked him to wear nothing and he got pissed of course.
I am sorry..I have issues and he could not adjust.
Needless to say, I am traumatized by the whole thing.
I can not imagine fishing for dudes like that and having to drop people and get new people because of some angst and loneliness thing that needs filled. Awe.
I am not lonely. I have never been lonely.

I think the thing is that I am a witch and men get scared of that.

As well they should be as I am not to be trifled with for too long.

"do you believe in Karma?"
"no I do not, I relate to the law of cause and effect"

I am Kali
I am Durga..

Hello June first and how are ya

Do you know me?

I am not your native nor your blood

we are the same though

we are made of star dust and churned particles made by heat in our star,

so hot so so hot :) Like your hot bod babe!!

We are the same and should not be troubled

yet we dwell and dwell in anxiety and worry about silly little daily things that wreck us

We cry over our hair and our legs and our varicose veins..like somehow if we pretend they were never there we can actually make it happen by this "belief"

we love pretending as babies and to carry the tales of children to our adult years, we all do,  we want that and do it..

our fairy tales are just bigger and have a bigger price.

yes like God..like karma in like reincarnation..

"anastasia, I am shocked, you do not believe in reincarnation?"

"no, I don't, does it really matter what we may have been?"

"yes I think so, that is karma"

" maybe it is "revenge"  dressed as free will and or karma?"

He walks away, pondering why he even talks to me any more..ha ha ha..

He wanted that all to be true we all do we all have.

have a wonderful day and remember how amazing we are, how smart and how mindful..now go, have a  good dream in the deep darkness of twilight and make it a wealthy one a healthy one and where good  will to all reins."_)))

frankincense patchouli soap

I made some really nice soap for just a few of us.
I have really gorgeous patchouli oil right now and so as I was making some heavy duty  soap blocks I took a little of the soap base and put these oils..

patchouli big time so much that it is dark. Sometimes I am heavy handed.
frankincense
nagamorta
choya loban

Right now,  I am getting is frankincense but I am immersed in clove and almond from my zanzzy nuggets I just made..wow!!

I have been in love with coconut milk. The kind in a can, so smooth and creamy, yea? I put it is a soap base  and it becomes so soft and creamy as I mix.Very luxurious.  It really adds a texture to the base as soon as you put it in. This last one, I used a  double cream coconut milk. Gosh, I am so in love.
Sweet yet no sugar added so you can use it as a topping on anything you like. Even as a dip with just about anything.

of course as i am, you can put it in soap.

Organic coconut milk soap base
organic coconut oil
organic olive oil
organic coconut milk
clean water
activator  n(mms lye calculator)( grow up, sodium hydroxide is what it is, a catalyst..otherwise you can go and melt blocks of glycerin soap.)

I love May

It rains and the flowers are the most smelly. I have a lilac that one can smell about from the street. It is so sweet and good.

I am well and happy friends.
I hope that you are too. I am making a bunch of soap for Martha at The Well in Cape Hope. I love her. She has been with me for a long time and always gracious and generous we are for each other. I feel that way about all my  soap partners. You! We both make an investment for our skin care and it shows.

Etsy has changed a bit so if you have problems with the shopping cart let me know. I have had some glitches with the whole thing. Not bad but enough that I had to go and make a shipping profile because they deleted all of them..
who cares, it's over and I am awesome to be able to fix and not be a dumb old person who can't figure out computers..lol


This week in soapmaking:
patchouli soap galore
patchouli frankincense rose geranium..oh man..
coconut milk shea with orange blossom
lavender patchouli  (moss on neptune)
cinnamon blood orange with ylang ylang and cocoa butter


There is a sale on the "euc pep" because I want you stay stay cool and wash your feet when you get in your bed.

:)
https://www.eleneetha.com/listing/44684610/sale-salty-whore-organic-soap-peppermint

I colored my hair

laughing as I say this because well, for one year as I was growing my hair our out, people started to treat me differently. Truth.
I am in sales and do not wish to go and ruffle feathers of customers by not only my unfailing demands on their brains but just a\the few who are just mean in the first place.
"I am evolving"
hahahaaaaa

I will likely let it grow out again or completely sheer it off.eventually, men hate that. Hair is sexy!

By the way men, just because Donald Trump is president and  likes to grab pussies, it does not mean you now get to call women more names than before! "cunt", 'Bitch" I have heard them twice this wee alone from men who shop at my store when they were referring to women. It is a trend when it is that often and I am keeping my ears open. Excuse me but, am I wrong to demand respect.
Men have been dicks though and we said it often enough and yes women can indeed be cunts..is it just words then, or can they hurt us in a most deep and humbled way?
I am needing a sit down think for that one.


We must be something more you and I! We must strive to greatness in the most subtle yet profound ways.
We must endure our anxiety and not think for one second that we are safe. Nothing is forever. You have these moments right now to make some good memories. A twinkle in your eye can make sparkles appear for everyone who catches a glance directly. It is a beautiful thing and spreads as easily as anger.
Of which I have against all tyranny..hahaaa

everyone loves cake

Madeira Cake

mix
6 ounce butter, sugar, four eggs, a whole lemon peel, 7 self rising ounces flour 2 ounces almond flour..bake at 350 for 30 minutes or so..there you have an every day coffee cake tea cake and that is that.  it is like pound cake for dummies..and that is me. Now, lets us have a cup of tea!
lol


I am good and doing well. The kids are all good and the garden is evolving nicely..
evolving, aging..is it the same really..Work is finally almost easy. I the
 only woman buyer on my team at 5 in the morning. The boys are on my ass all day.
"are you buying what you need?" "did you take my scan gun?" ( i did because they would kill mine and then leave m e with a dead scanner while they were all acting territorial.) "yea you want to fight me for it?)"
 I took all the labels off so they couldn't see
 which gun they were stealing. The caught me and I told them why I did it. Now and always,
I have a working scan gun. I made my stand and did not cower in fear. It helps that my  boss is 25 years old, smart as fuk and always polite..yea our life is okay. Would I rasher be tinkering in my  garden all day and making soap all day..dang man, I already do that..yes, dear ones, I am fine..sore a fuk and fine fine fine.



While we are aging we are evolving but if you use it to explain your actual age, I will think you are shallow ..just a little.
Me,
"we are the same age dude, you are aging too."
A close friend, close enough..
"I am evolving"
Me, that is also aging, do you really think you can stop it?
"I am evolving, Anastasia licious," that is what he calls me..ha ha ha
"okay but growing old is life boy"
He is grumbling now and pretending he has work to do so he does not have to face his lonely penis at  night..(okay, that is wrong to say))
It is so lonely that after years of being lonely, if he does ever get
 a real chance at a 24 year old, he might not react as amazing as in his porn dreams.
I find that men my age are really still randy and yet every day work tasks take their toll and at the end of the day, it is more work and the next day of hard work comes fast.
For all of us.

I think that women get trapped by what society worships so much that we color our hair and yes, we have evolved. We are doing men's work because it has become universal. You strength is not that required anymore in the service industry and most packages are made to be able to be lifted by anyone over 120 pounds.

I do not really have a point to my story only that I look and I observe and I react just as always, by bluntly pointing out ideas that may hurt some peoples feeling, better that than some lie made up pretending.
That is why I choose healthy
fats and healthy skin care.

Yesterday, I had an interaction with a girl, we will call her Maria..I mean yes, she asked a question which was pertinent.."is there alcohol in your cleanser?" "do you give discounts to first time buyers?"
My feathers get ruffled when money comes in to a discussion because it is already 13 dollars..I most likely loose money if you count the 2 dollar bottle and carrier I drive 60 miles to buy because I want the best things. I said i do not discount first time buyers and that I give a sample or two.
"which ones?"
Howe many?
I want neroli mist, rose cardamom soap as my  samples"
Uh, no I don't cut already cut soap and that one is expensive. Nor do I typically give oil or spray samples...6 emails later,
Dude!!
No..stop..buy something or not. I do not negotiate like some gypsy. Plus it is 13 dollars and now you want the rose and the neroli and the vanilla cream and the pluto potion as a sampler the best one, " can I have a sample of the blue oil if I buy the blue oil?"
lol
It is funny as i write this but at that moment, I got ruffled..not mad but for sure like, okay, I deal with this all day at my job with customers who want to return a shea butter with one fuking swipe in it..whores!
lol again
I think she was so excited about the products that I may have misunderstood her enthusiasm for cheapness. I am not perfect you know. But if you cheapen me, I get frosty. I am worth more that 13 bucks and so are you babies! Ask for more!
I want 13 thousand!
ha ha ha

I am still here

I think about you every day. You the ones who love my soap and my words and what ever else you love about me..me me me

I work at 5 am now at my job most days and so my body had to adjust to the 3:30 am wake up time in order to recover from the last day where I worked my ass off and pounded about 5 to 10 miles depending and maybe a few up and downs to upstairs.
"yes, we all know I work hard" I am saying to you..
 I think I am more calm about it now and so a little more suave about myself and what I am required of at my job, at home and maybe with a man..I am not sure.I am fine either way, honestly. devotion to one's family leaves little

room for trifles and I am not talking cakes here, although that does sound lovely. With fresh straberries.:)
Some have been persistent enough..look once you engage with some one, is it about understanding their shit and I am tired. It is like you feel their pain and I am in enough of it..my body hurts yo! lol
When you engage with someone they may tell you of their pain and more. They need to share, we all want the comfort when someone actually cares about us. Be aware of moods  in your chosen company. They may rob you of your good thoughts. Be honest and caring as much as you can. and, and, it may be your cologne making you depressed. Use essential oils and not perfume from the store. And don't spray that fake stuff on yourself, it is poison. what the heck?

Instead use an oil mixed beautifully by well seasoned clean hands, anointed by these same oils for many many moons and ready to make your skin feel like it is glorious.

I am mixing a nice little body  butter for summer today.

Shea butter, tonka butter, vanilla co2 total by ananda apothecary at 12% vanillin, sandalwood and patchouli, also a drop tobacco and to loosen things up, I will add just enough prikly pear oil to make it like silk.
I wore this all day yesterday and yes, my ideas rose to the surface. I find that when I wear sandalwood I get more money and more money means more oils as I am so generous to the product. It is everything and always has been. Why stop now?

hello babies and big giant sunshine

In a near by town here in the Detroit area, there community of highly religious Muslims that  hired a crooked doctor lady lady lady lady..woman, sister, mom, I am sure she is a mom too, to perform female genital mutilation on young girls, seven years old... well, they tell the girls that everyone gets this done and they must do it. Normal and horrid in modern times , wouldn't you say?
We we have done it to boys too since the dawn of what men in robes in the heat with no books and no idea about atoms, decided that this is the way to treat babies. Seven year old girls! Oh? And three day old baby boys are not that shocking?


And now to the serious and meditative part of my story..
It is cold here and it is becoming a nice day after all. Every day the sun is more and more brillant. I love this time of year.


Now to even more serious stuff to think about..

Me,
"I enjoy our conversations. Your cologne is too much on my delicate sandalwood, How about some sandalwood  for you with a fine patchouli?"

lol
I should I say that. How can someone who knows me want to wear some fucking thing with some fucking sharp chemical they pretend is citrus or amber or ambre or noir or Tom Ford with his over the top ingredients..some really good and then he gives you brain chem log syndrome (made up word))?
I am greedy for the best things which means real oils any thing  else is out of the consideration.
It is crazy and so evil to each other and the rest of humanity. It represents a falseness and pretending where what is fashionable is presented by one small group and people just flock. The boots with the tights..missy, you have not seen a horse in like ever in real life. ha ha ha I don't care is ts only poignant because I see so many people all day and there is a look at the market.


My look is natural and I am a crone
I look to have accomplished my mindful goals
my reasons for living
my gratitude and joys
my riches beyond my requests
I can relax now with a notion that I know know know what I want
It is comfort
good food
you
great family
the fuks
I love them all so much
guess what, they smell the way I want.
real real real
really good.

Thank you I love you for not smelling fake and horrid..thank you mom for not cutting my vagina and dad for busting your ass for  mom, She is the queen of our home for sure.

 I want that which I already have. I have so much and more is coming.

happy and safe

I have had less and less  to rave about for about a month now. I have  been reading and digging dirts.
ha ha

I made some nice things though. Rose Cardamom Soap  turned out so nice, I sold every one of those. When I am good I am very good. I rove a rose with labdanum too!

I have been very thoughtful of you. Of all the things we have been through together and how it can be years since we have spoken and when we do, it is like yesterday. We are drawn together though a silent web of ideas and thoughts and intended invitations.
I love you and the way  you get me and when I say that I mean some want to get me so I can hear them out and l listen to how they suffer. ha ha and I mean to kind of chuckle here..
Don't forget how we all suffer the same but in our minds we have more sadness and sorrow than others unless you see the others suffering, the real suffering.
Not why the traffic is bad or the boyfriend is a jerk.
The  ones who have pain and loss, hunger and bloodshed..everyday and every hour on earth the violence continues and here right now we are gratefully safe and well fed and so so so happy.

Today I will prepare and amazing meal and a nice new batch of soap or two. I once made a soap with ground nettles and I think it will be a nice one should I maybe choose  to make Nettles and Moss.
You see, I have been pondering on this new very funky lavender oil from France. it is odd and I love it!
Why soap with nettles? Nettles are rich in chlorophyll, silicates and other very health nutrients. It is nice and smoothing on the skin.

I have been getting many requests for more scrubby soap.

Lime Vetiver Afternoon Special..

Vetiver
Lime
Lemon OG
Blood Orange
Vanilla

One big hunkin' body bar and an oil..mmmm
It will come with a vial of oil
so very soothing, soft
refreshing
and oddly lingering with a sweet tangy finish from the vetiver having blended like velvet with the lime.





I hope you have a wonderful day and think of me with laughter and awesomeness!

mending the fences and letting some go

It has been a working time and cleaning up for spring and summer rains to bring more flowers. I love it.
delphiniums
forget me nots
black eyed susan
Heirlooms..tomatoes!
I have planted seeds and I am stacking the plantings by two weeks in order to stack the harvest times. Last year, I composted a ton of them and that is okay because good dirt!

There are so many varieties that I might have bushels of tomatoes :):)
Greek varieties and big giant heirlooms like "hillbilly reds"
I have an hearty Siberian tomato. I planted brandy wine (pink) and all the black tomato varies I could find.
I planted the basils by the softest part of last year's compost  where they will be free to get as big as they want.
This week I will plant onions and enough so that we can have fresh salad by June..yea..I planted lettuce, it never does well for me..maybe this year it will be different.
I must say it is so magical to work with the soil. My mom says my soil is beautiful and I might agree. I am in awe of seeds though. I started the tomatoes indoors and they hated it. They popped out all right but nope, not enough light. we tried a strand of LED lights and $20.00 later.."okay let us put them outside."
It gets cold at night. They are still alive in their little green house. I do talk to them every day.

I planted all kinds of quash and pumpkin. I am hopping they wander any where they please. Pumpkin Pie is delicious. Ravioli with a simple  pumpkin filling made with just enough good goat cheese, its lovely, delicate and pleasant in your mouth. I want some right now made with a pasta rich in eggs. mm
I will also plant water melon and I will let them thrive in the sunniest spot of the place.
The vines are to me, just the best. I ordered a Japanese squash  variety which I might just put at the beginning of the place and let it just hang its fruit like little orange lanterns.

you are my orange lantern
you brighten my day the way  you attend to your tasks
you lighten my heart the way you look at me with knowing eyes
my knowing heart
my gut wrenching mamma mind ready to
engage
work
find
clean
break up
smooth out the dirt
pick out the bad parts
they come out of everywhere
repair your boundaries
build them with core  strength
with core control
with mindful memories
mindful trust
it's everything we like god to be
it is us together though  as one mind working some big giant fire pit so hot and so deep and so much stuff it continues to spew out that it is black and still not everything.so it that the layers are so wide in between..there is an ice cold void made of some thing, unknown dark matter dark energy us.. only 1% of everything. We think we are so much, so important, because we know about us, as far as we know now..and it is a lot and not that much in time. 99% of everything that lived on earth has died off and they lived for long periods of time here. We as humans have evolved to now in just about a couple of million years..
from a little rat like creature to a naked ape..the bones tell a story.

What is going to be your story? My story? I am telling it now and maybe I will tell more and maybe less.
Sometimes I remember vividly things I should forget.:)

mmmmmMOON

I see the moon and the moon sees me
I hear her voice of eternity
her luminous rays reflecting silent truths
desires met with little force
riches had and lost just the same
what is her time but an eternal game
she makes us play
while we carry on and while away
the hours during each new day she brings

happy spring

bubble bubble toil and win

don't say trouble say let us see when
say you are  fine and finer still
is the way you take care if yourself and your will
the way other people remember you
I hope some of your *swords just swiped by some of the times
it is about being an idiot I know
it is about cringing and laughter in the memories blow so quick so sorrow full
it does not matter still
resentments are bad on the *gall bladder anyhow:)
and who needs that business

*words
**gall, as to something that you can be sickened by or hate on

karma and witches

It is not karma I fear but my dishwasher breaking down and if you tell me we are meant to be together it is because I  want it that way. How come some things are meant to be and the bad ones are never "oh, I know we are meant to be that is why we know each other."?
People say it all day and it pauses me to think on it.
Are we really? Or are we drawn to situations based on our desires and activities to get what we want?
I know, it is hard to think on it but it is true. What we do from here on is what matters not what we used to do.

The thing with witches that I can not abide is the pretending we are these long haired beautiful nymphs on a mountain with the wind  in our hair and our inner power strong like fire raging towards the sky..I love it and it is not real.
I wish the man did not label us so. We are strong only because we birth and heal our children and our generations continues. We are really strong in that. We carry the burdens of men who bring blood shed and grief. Men, who must control the money, the wars and the the roads.We have women who build on that in order to fit in the manly structures and in that women have been indoctrinated not to say what is the most obvious things..I will
I will
I will
The real power with in is our will. The way we manipulate and exceed in our own expectations..right?
.
I can not just take it and say nothing.
It is not because I am an atheist now..I think I am and I  know for sure it is okay because I can integrate my knowledge to make the best choices, for me and my kin.

sigh..the suffering of boys dancing for dirty men holding their dicks! Yes it does happen..it does and those are the men worthy of being in the temples! I mean really! And we all say that every one is equal but really fear for our lives is why we comply.
The  way we make women in to sex objects in every advertisement..yea, we do. and no one really looks like that. No one. I can always see beyond the plastic boobs and lips..always..you can't hide from the sun babies..the light of day shine on your true faces..our true faces.

Speaking of which witch which..
I am right now bathed in eternal scent of rose choya and burnt oranges..I am safe. I hope you are too.
I love you!