Tuesday, June 30, 2015

confidence and full moon realizations

Mine (confidence) gets shaken sometimes but mostly I acknowledge that it is adrenals overworking and spewing out chemicals.
It is something hard to get over when you have a whole ton of stuff going on and some things do not  satisfy or delight.
My last little shake up is an example.
It is nothing big and for me a very real episode of what I want versus what "they" want.

 the demo lady (the gemini) has been on my ass for months to bring her perfume..

I never did because I did not think she could handle my depth.
She bugged me all the time, texted me and made sure I finally brought my incense like oils for her to buy. We talked about what she wants and I explained things and told her to read my menu. (now, I do not think she has a computer)
I broke my own rule..I prepped and carried product and at the moment she was pleased.
The first warning..
"can I pay you tomorrow"
"yes" ( what could I say, no?)
She had already dabbed in the the old whore"
Next Day..fucking dumb ass...lol
I see the money in her hand and she comes up to me and says her husband told her it is too strong!
My steel gaze met hers and if I were Rick, I would say, "kneel on the floor"
Looking in to her eyes, I said, in my quiet raspy  voice, "I do not take product back and  last night, had an inkling that you really had no love for essential oils, you are a citrus girl, I told you that, right?" "How many times did we talk about what you wanted?"
"oh, no, I will keep it.."
She handed me the money and mind you, I gave her a deal and she didn't even notice or get it.
"allow the vanilla and patchouli to work with your oils on your own skin and do not tell your husband, I told her. Who is this guy? A Republican?" lol
I took her money on principle and my time spent making her labels.
I bet she had to ask him for money and he was mad because he supports, his wife..
who knows!
When someone says an oil is too strong, I get offended and hurt. I also feel bad for the woman who has to beg and made to feel guilt over a little cash!
I get mad at myself for not being harder in the first place and knowing what is real.

What are the signs of someone just going through the motions and not having one real thought in their head..just a bunch of lies all put together to do nothing but stand there with a finely pressed shirt..

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