Monday, July 18, 2016

"please keep my daughter in your thoughts", she said to me

"why, is she sick?"
"no, she and  her boyfriend are really trying to make it  with their mushroom business and I just , please keep her in your thoughts."
"okay, I will"
I started thinking right away..
I started thinking about me and my needs and why I do not grow mushrooms as a business. Why I  work retail in order to serve women like her, clearly with money and clearly on some sort of path. We both said something about the violence in the news.. "oh, no no no, Muslim is evil, ..sharia is evil"
"all religion has been no.."
"I am Jewish, no non no, I have FAITH.." her hands almost waved..I squinted my eyes and touched her and said, "it is fine, you are fine..
"okay, that is fine..I get it, you want me to pray to my god just in case I have a better deal going with the divine invisible?
I do but it is because I think on my own and do not rely on a cosmic helper.
..I did not say any of of those things because I find it charming for 20 somethings to explore new ways of doing things..
I mean really, it is cool! What if mushrooms save the oceans some day?
(they wont, we throw away too much plastic..we do)) They have helped suck up refined oil spills before. I loves them.
I am thinking about the mushroom girl in a good way..I always will..I loves her too and her mamma!

Being is parent is hard and it sucks sometimes. I sometimes just need to walk away instead of thinking about my kid's drama..I had my own, it is true. I had it, you had it and here we are..All my drama was based on fear and loathing of me.
How do we as women show up and become efficient and truly make a difference when our sisters are being strangled by their own brother's and castrated by their own mothers and aunts? It is crazy and so, when someone is on a platform of a simple request, I want to be like Sasha on The Walking Dead, "That is what you worry about??"
I can also see a better side to this whole business of Muslim and Islam and Sharia and Baton Rouge and BLM and Trump, going, "yea! I told you all, kill them all"
You, me, us, earthlings,  might just have to face the facts that, our enemies are in our own minds. I think that is what all the saints and self proclaimed yogis were searching for. We all want to feel good, until we don't and that is when we become deluded and lie to ourselves and make up reasons for our bad feelings.
If my brother had tried to kill me, I would have put up a strong fight. I would have smashed his face with my always on boots and broke a few ribs..I do not like when someone tries to hit me and as I was raised in a violent Greek home, they beat me a lot. I did not care if they tried, I always spoke my mind. I learned to fight and they were surprised at my audacious nature. One time,  I broke one of their ribs for going after me, they stopped. they were careful when they tried to hit me.
You know what I did after that?
I married a misogynist shrouded in fake love of a misogynist and submitted to a new form of violent abusive woman hating bull shit! Yea, until I finally dragged myself to the truth..I am my own protector and it does not matter how much you meditate, you are still a douche deep inside lurking with your dick in your hand for the fantasy whores..they are not real.  Oh..I am good when salty, yes? Too much??

What is real is that we must change and stop the violence and pride in one's honor in how many virgins we can hold down..sorry..that is dumb.  It also shows us that women can never live up to the fantasy. There was no virgin, okay, I do not think I can ever wrap my head around that idea. No matter how much you beat me! I mean Mary had more kids, Jesus had a brother..oye..barbaric and a different rant!
Yea, if we all grew some mushrooms, maybe we would all have a new frame of mind where only mellow and good vibrations are abound. That sounds just fine to me.

Let us now reflect on some other means to live..And..let Us
wipe out crime because everyone is too busy working and learning.
You must change
WE must change
We must learn

Rick GrimesYou know, I was thinking, how many of you do I have to kill to save your lives?

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