Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Me and How I Plan to be More Awesome

Unless some other tragic event happens where I cannot even ponder on delicious aromatics,(ha!, as if!) , I feel like going forth in to the next few years of my life will be quite profound.

I always feel it, like when I was twelve, I knew I would become a fitness instructor and when I was 25 I knew then I was going to age beautifully and not be a body builder for too much longer. squatting (my best 420)..I knew that in my 30's, there would be a little less impact physically..and I mean a little!
I still work at a nutritional based grocery store and I yet, I am feeling it again..in the next 4 years or less, I will have developed new skills and I may say, stealthily, I have learned, and, I will sleekafy myself to enjoy the next phase after that..
yes, I said Sleekafy! I am always paying attention even if I do not know how to turn off the play station or that I can take a photo of the screen of my i phone if I press the home key and the lock key at the same time.
No one knew that, until someone showed them. Or, they sat there like zombies staring in to their phones hopelessly searching for that perfect gif which will make them laugh or cry, depending..they are usually a kitty and some cute thing..wait, that is me, I love looking at kitties!

Sometimes people take my kindness for weakness. It happens all the time. Even people who think they are in higher standing (whatever the fak that means) think that I am not as capable as they are because I like to have fun and I am odd and I say things.

Frankly, I am a little tired of it! I have been conscious of it for years, but now it stands out.
Lee- sten, bitches, I climbed a mountain, raised children to be awesome humans and can still run circles around you even at my slow pace. One reason is that I do not mind being alone. And many many people cannot stand it. being alone. They run around and socialize because they do not want to face that dark demon woman or man in their head. Oh Lilith..

So they play little games in order to shut one person or many,  out so they can feel important.
it sucks and do not ever think I am not conscious of it. I am and can see right through it.

Here are some inconsiderate comments spoken by  lesser types who may breed jealousy and exclusivity whist at the same time proclaiming they love god...
"oh, why would you go to that meeting, I am also going,, you will get tired and it really takes your time"
(in other words, you are not good enough to be in our club())
I do not appreciate a person who tries to keep me down..and realize this early on in any relationship.
"oh, I feel like we, as strong  women, should go to all the meetings that effect our lives and work"
"I always go!", she proclaimed!
I stopped for a moment and looked at her and said, "Yes, you do.'

It is funny, I do not actually care that much  about every meeting, my point is that sometimes people act like they care about you while trying to hold you back just in case you might exceed their place and in their fake security. Or, this it it. People are really this shallow, this rigid in their ways and this concerned  with their social status and looking proper. Even they, must face reality..


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